like the other mamas here, my heart and prayers go out to you.
Please do get yourself and dd checked. (ie. for her to make sure she doesn't have an ear or throat infection, or that she is not allergic to something in her diet.)
They are so extremely sensitive and FEEL us and all that's going on for us, some often it's like we are one, and they are just mirroring back to us what is UP, iykwim?
Is she teething? I know my ds has just gone through a period of at least 8 weeks (he's just cut 4 top teeth) and it has been extremely challenging. Not crying like your little one, but needing to be held and comforted almost constantly, at least it has seemed.
Like you i feel i've suffered ppd with both my ds. With my first I did go and talk with a counselor for a couple months (at about the 4th -5th month_ and that did help considerably, just to have an ear to listen. For me not having the kind of emotional support from dp that i so need, really exacerbates the down feeling.)
I have also been able to recognize that for me a big issue is being able to acknoweldge my own needs and to be able to ASK. I am still in the place of learning how to do this. On some level I just expect that people should know how much I am struggling and that I need help. I do not know if this is true for you or not, but it seems that many of us moms feel like we are just supposed to be able to DO IT ALL, and then when we can't we just self-implode. It really SUCKS, and is a vicious downward spiral. Reach out to those that you are closest to to talk to about what you are going through. Journaling, even if you just find 5 minutes or so could also be a good outlet, or even coming here like you have been. KEEP REACHING OUT> STAY CONNECTED> and LET OTHERS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT, ok dear sweet ONE.
You ARE a PRECIOUS mama.
Focus on one breath, one moment at a time.
Find a health/healing professional who can talk to and
Something that has been helping me lately is that I will break things down into tiny babysteps. For example, if everything is feeling totally chaotic, simply focus either on the thing that seems like it is weighing on you the most and work at it for 1, 3, 5 or 7 minutes. (setting a timer is one way that I do it, or sometimes, like if the kitchen is a mess or the house feels out of control, I will say that my number for the moment is going to be 7 and i will simply pick up and put away 7 things. Then this usually inspires to do maybe another 7 or another 7, but even if not, just do one little thing that helps to move you in the direction of feeling just a tad bit less chaotic. (using the flylady reminders to whatever degree I can at any point in time has also made a good difference for me...check her out at <http://www.flylady.net
Breathing (consiously and counting in 220.127.116.11 out 18.104.22.168 can and will help) or focusing on a powerful or positive word, phrase, prayer, or picture can also be very helpful. Or even just sitting and letting yourself allow yourself to feel your feet when you are sitting it a chair. Finding those things that can help you to reconnect with your own body and life force.
Have you considered getting massage?
I wonder how your diet is? I know for me that in the midst of my process of trying to come to some level of balance, that I am learning that I have probably been protein deprived for sometime. I've been vegetarian and think that since getting pregnant and nuring now for going on 5 years straight, that the body does have real needs to do it's work and to keep on producing the milk, so, it's important for us to find the foods that can help to build us up and keep us strong (whether we are nursing or not, the job of mothering requires incredible energy, both physically and emotionally.)
Are you or do you tend to be a junk fooder, coffee drinker, sugar/chocolate-aholic or carb addict? These things seem to "keep us going" in the moment for quick energy, or relief, but in the long run wreak havoc with our bio-chemical system. Another online group that has been beneficial for me over these last few months has been http://www.radiantrecovery.com.
They deal with food, mainly sugar addiction, she has written a few books; ("Potatoes Not Prozac", "The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program" and "Your Last Diet", all by Kathleen DesMaisons.) Her work has been a real eye opener for me and is slowly making a difference in my life. You can read more about the work she has done on her radian recovery website i listed above.
I know this has been long. I hope that you are feeling like you are heading in the right direction. I look forward to hearing how your journey unfolds.
Much love to you.