I. Don't. Know. What. To. DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[crunchy_mommy]

DS was never a good sleeper but I could usually get a couple 2-3 hours stretch out of him. Now for the past few weeks it's just horrific!!! He is up every 15 minutes... No sooner do I get him back to sleep then he is rolling around crying and climbing on me & DH. I am at my wit's end, I NEED SLEEP!! DH will get up maybe once a night every few nights to help but it doesn't really help (DS is VERY attached to me and screams when DH picks him up) so it's all me. I work full-time from home so not only do I need to be up & working by 8am but I am also watching him by myself and during the day he is very high maintenance (whines non-stop & needs constant interaction) which is very draining to me. Plus I have some insomnia so every time he wakes up it takes ME longer & longer to fall back to sleep... and I can't ever fall asleep before 10-11pm. I really don't know what to do. DH keeps saying, "maybe we should try the 'put him in the crib & let him cry' thing" which REALLY annoys me... to me that's no more an option than giving him tranquilizers or something! I have tried cuddling him closer. I've tried dragging another mattress next to ours so he can have more space to himself. I try nursing him but he is not hungry, sometimes he'll comfort suck but the second I delatch him he wakes up & won't latch back on, just cries. I do think a paci would help but the idea of it sickens me, I'd need some evidence that it would work and I'm still not convinced it's a good idea. I try rocking him, try playing the musical seahorse... NOTHING WORKS. He just whines, whines, and cries. I have even tried letting him fuss for a few minutes to see if he'll resettle himself but he just cries harder. I don't know what to do. I can't do this anymore!!!! He might be teething a bit but I don't sense that it's causing this. He isn't hungry, he seems to be warm enough, he doesn't even wake up while he's crying, he just rolls around & crawls with his eyes closed (weird because he rarely crawls or rolls when he's awake, he is learning to walk & never liked being on his belly)... I try burping him but he arches his back and twists out of my arms. He won't take a teether but he will let us rub his gums a bit with his rubber brush... I just don't know. I feel like this is not normal for his sleep to have gotten this bad but I have no idea what to do about it. During the day he will take several naps of 30-60 minutes each (sometimes a bit longer too but I have to nurse him back down once or twice)... He is just about 9 months old and sleeping worse than a newborn. HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[earth-mama]

My DD is 9 months too. She has been a fairly decent sleeper, or at least I think so. She still regularly needs to nurse 1-2 times at night--I count this as times after I go to bed and before my partner gets up. So, I do not count nursing when I go to bed or nursing when DP gets up. However, she cut her first 2 teeth around 5 months--no real issue. The most recent 4 have been significantly more disturbing for her. They have caused her to wake a lot more at night, sometimes because she is hungry and other times she just sucks for a few minutes and pulls off, but usually goes back to sleep. Sometimes I put some topical teething aid on her gum--I use "gumomile" (think that is how it spelled). It seems to help some.

I also have noticed that recently her bowl movements have been changing as she has been eating more food in more variety. Sometimes I think this bothers her some. I have started giving her a short massage before bed, which seems to help her relax and fall asleep quicker.

The nights that I know are going to be difficult are after she gets a vaccination. We are only doing 1 vaccination at a time, currently she is getting the DTaP. After getting the shot she has consistently slept very poorly. She alternates between wanting to sleep-nurse and needing to nurse every 1/2 hour to hour. Needless to say I do not get much sleep. This usually last for 3 nights. I was pleasantly surprised that this round night 2 was a good sleeping night.

So, with much rambling, here are some of my thoughts. Has your DS started eating any new foods that may be bothering him? Along with food, do you feed him pre-packaged foods that may have dyes or preservatives--these could cause reactions. Did the sleeplessness begin around or shortly after any vaccinations?

You did not mention your finances, but maybe you could hire someone to babysit your DS a couple days per week while you work. That way you could work without being regularly distracted and he could have some undivided attention during the day. This may help. I know that my DD needs a lot of attention. Fortunately, I am currently a SAHM and can give her all the attention she needs. I feel for you having to balance work and caring for you child at the same time, since they are so needy at this age. I hope the sleep gets better soon. I'm pretty worthless after a high waking night.

Partner to (7 years) Mother to Lily (9 months) 2 and 1

[crunchy_mommy]

Unfortunately we can't afford to hire some help but DH does go in super early so he can be home in the afternoons to give him some attention. Which also means DH is only sleeping 6 hours a night (must be nice LOL!!) but he is the type to require 10 hours or so of sleep so we are both sooo exhausted!!

He doesn't eat packaged foods, he eats what we eat... has not started any new foods but some foods he is eating more of lately (gluten-free breads/pancakes) though I can't think of anything in them that would bother him, especially because it's exactly what I've been eating while BF'ing...

He has not had any vaxes in months (we only did 2 dtaps)...

You are definitely helping me think here though. The one thing that did change around when his sleep started getting worse is we put the bed on the floor (so he wouldn't fall off) -- but he has slept well (waking just a few times) since then plus how would the location of the bed make a difference? LOL... OK I guess I'm going to have to keep thinking, if you have any other thoughts I would love to hear them.

I would love to try the massage thing but he is not the type to sit still long enough. I think his activity level and his neediness/constant whining combined with the not sleeping is just really getting to me. I've been trying to work for the past 4 hours and can't even focus. Plus I have CFS so fatigue & energy are always an issue for me to begin with. I don't know what I'm going to do, maybe call in sick to work for a day or two???? *sigh* Thanks for listening to me whine

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

A couple of thoughts which you may take for what they are worth.

If you think a pacifier may help -- what's the problem? Given how desparate you sound, sure something this easy is worth a try? If it doesn't work, no harm done. And just because he uses it at night doesn't mean that you must then have a child with a "plug" in his mouth all the time. Its pretty easy to make it just a "bed" thing. Some children have higher need for something to suck on. There is no shame is satisfying this need.

If you think he is teething, it might also be worth trying some sort of pain reliever. If you aren't a "given them tylanol" sort of person, there are natural teething remedies and herbal pain relief options that you might want to check out.

And finally, have you considered that you might have a child that doesn't co-sleep well? Not all children are good co-sleepers. I had one that was wonderful at cosleeping as an infant and one that was really much happier on her own for at least part of the night. It took me a while to recognize and accept that HER need for space and no motion needed to outweigh my desire to snuggle with her. Maybe give a crib in your room a try to see if that makes it easier for everyone? Again, it might or might not help, but it can't hurt to try. I'm not advocating letting him scream and cry, just see what happens if you lay him down on his own. Maybe allow him to fuss for a minute if that is his normal pattern, but not cry.

And I agree -- if you have the ability, maybe a babysitter for part of the day might be a good investment. I'll bet you could get a day's worth of work into a couple of uninterupted hours and it might make all the difference to everyone. Sometimes they are reacting more to our stress than we realize and if you are stressed about all of this (and you sound like you are), you may be stuck in a cycle that needs somethng big to break. A few hours a week of quality work time might be a good place to start.

[ASusan]

Have you considered food intolerances or allergies? DS gets like this when he's accidentally had dairy or wheat.

AMAZING sleep on nights when he's at baseline.

[LindsG]

Wow, Alissa, I seriously feel like I wrote your post! <hug> So if it's any consolation at all, you are NOT alone!! I'm at my wits end as well with a 9 month old who won't sleep. It seems like most other night waking babies are just waking to nurse constantly but peacefully going back to sleep. This is NOT my baby. He wakes tossing and turning and rolling, like yours, and just thrashes around whining and crying but with his eyes still closed....non-stop. Not all nights, thankfully, but too many nights. I'm searching hard for answers and if I figure anything out I will definitely let you know! Right now we are trying the NCSS and working on taking longer naps during the day plus an earlier bedtime. That worked well yesterday but today we are failing miserably at it. I spent 2 hours this morning trying to get him to nap which only ended with both of us crying our eyes out. I can guarantee tonight will be a fitfull night. It does seem that when he's overtired, his nights are a wreck. I would try keeping an eye on his sleep cues and try to get him to take longer naps during the day. I read that any nap less than 45min-1 hour doesn't really count. Maybe your DS is chronically over-tired? That will definitely affect his sleep at night. Basically, he may be waking through his normal sleep cycles but he's sooo tired and doesn't know how to get himself back to sleep so he cries and gets all upset which just makes it that much harder to get back to sleep. The other thing that sounds like a possibility is a food allergy but this is much harder to figure out. Good luck!!!! I hope both of us can find some answers! I don't know about you, but i'm becoming very resentful toward DS because of these sleep issues and it makes me feel like a horrible mom...not to mention that he's coming up on 1 year and I spent his entire first year of life being miserble because we failed at breastfeeding and now because I can't get him to sleep It makes me so sad to think i'll look back on his first year of life as a miserable time.

[LadyCatherine185]

mama. My DS woke every 15-30 minutes around 8-9 months. It was awful. Now he is back to his "normal" 1-2 hour stretches. Looking back, it was right before he began walking and he was teething. We tried everything, and nothing helped. Hope you get through this soon Mama.

[Louisep]

I agree with PPs, probably teething or milestone time. This wakefulness around those times seems pretty common on this board and IME. I think you need to find some time in the day to wear you son. When my DS whines he is needing some close contact and I sling him up for a bit. DS is Very grumpy when constipated.

Many of us have been/ are in your shoes. It IS a phase and you'll make it through. In the meantime, you have to find coping strategies. How about a mother's helper? They are generally cheap.

Hang in there, it will pass.

[crunchy_mommy]

I will have to post a better reply later, I'm really busy ATM, but thank you all! I did want some more feedback on the possible allergies thing -- I have thought that might be a possibility myself but I can't seem to track down what he'd be allergic to? I am vegan, gluten-free, and mostly soy-free... And he eats what I eat but only small amounts (and he also eats gluten foods but again, very small amounts) mostly it's just breastmilk....

[Bea]

I remember this (James is 29 months now) and unfortunately, we never found relief except for the passage of time. As far as I can tell, it was a typical milestone achieving/ teething type hiccup in his sleeping.

It was a NIGHTMARE... I do remember that and I can only send you my heartfelt sympathy (I'm really, really sympathetic s) I'm sorry your having to experience this, it's so exhausting and frustrating.

Every 15 minutes....AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

[Picard]

Maybe your baby needs to go to the washroom to pee? I am always too lazy to get up, but I think for sure that that is it. I also feel that when I need to go badly, baby starts to sleep fitfully.

Is singing songs an idea? I do sometimes start to sing. I continue with different songs (thinking of the next one well before the last one ends), start interjecting it with some humming at some point, then have a five minute humming session, and finish off with just humming two tones. Works very well most of the time.

Also, I have noticed that when DS eats corn, he does not sleep well. Same with eating too much meat. Other than that, I'm just dealing with it (frustrated for sure). Hang in there!

[earthmama4]

Originally Posted by alissamari

I will have to post a better reply later, I'm really busy ATM, but thank you all! I did want some more feedback on the possible allergies thing -- I have thought that might be a possibility myself but I can't seem to track down what he'd be allergic to? I am vegan, gluten-free, and mostly soy-free... And he eats what I eat but only small amounts (and he also eats gluten foods but again, very small amounts) mostly it's just breastmilk....

Don't know your reasons, but I was just thinking if you need to be gluten-free he might too. And as I am sure you know, just a little bit can mean symptoms.

[crunchy_mommy]

That's true, I didn't think he might not tolerate wheat. He has only had very small amounts of it but I will have to pay much closer attention, thanks!

[simplybecca]

I'm just going to throw this out there - Does your little one like to sway? I've heard some people have had luck with baby hammocks....

[Luke's mama]

A paci has been a huge help for me--esp. in the beginning, I had overabundant milk supply and it would come down so fast and spray that ds couldn't handle it--he had a need to suck, but didn't want more milk. For what it is worth, there is NO getting him to take it if he doesn't want it, but it can really be a comfort when he does need it and keeps the night nursings down to a certain extent.

[MadiMamacita]

OP, I came on to post almost the exact same thing. I'm right there with you with all the crawling all over me but with his eyes shut and whining and crying.

Have you looked at the wonder-weeks? Its not going to help, but at least it will help you to see patterns and light at the end of the tunnel.. it is very common for 36-40 week old babes to have a really hard time right now, and the wonder week's explain it as a developmental milestone. heres the link- http://www.livingcontrolsystems.com/...ontent_ww.html