He doesn't want to stop!

[LilMomma83]

MY 2.5yo is still nursing occasionally (some times multiple times per day, others several days without - up to 5 days at the most so far). DH and I have been telling him "no more milk after Christmas" (I really don't care, but, DH does...or at least he won't help me ween him from the bottle unless I ween him from the breast and I worry about his teeth) DS has been agreeing with that until today he told me he wants to keep nursing (maybe because he is hearing about Christmas events etc and realizes it is coming up?)

I have been trying to ease him out of this as slowly as possible and give him warning etc (he does NOT do well with surprises) but I'm not sure what else to do? I mean...honestly, if I allowed him to nurse as much as he asks he would be nursing 3-4 times a day (and more if I wasn't working) every day...I guess I'm wondering how to know if he is really ready, and also how I can prep him/get him ready?

Oh and this is also complicated because I am nursing his baby brother, and so he gets a constant reminder that my boobs are there and have milk!

[alegna]

What's the hurry to wean? No way dd would have weaned easily at that age- she was still nursing 6-8 times a day.

-Angela

[Ruthla]

I'm wondering the same thing. Are you weaning him ONLY because your DH has a problem with it? Honestly, nursing 3-4 times a day seems perfectly healthy and normal at that age.

It might be time to stand up for your child and let DH know that he doesn't have the right to interfere with the breastfeeding relationship. I also think it will be easier to wean him from the bottle if he's still nursing- if he has a need to suck, then he can nurse more if the bottle gets taken away. Or, you can just offer the bottle with water, and offer milk and juice in cups. That will protect his teeth without causing him a lot of emotional strain, and you won't need DH's help with it.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

My oldest is almost 5 and still nursing, my youngest just turned 3 and nurses 8 - 10s a day. (I do not work though)

My olderst is more of a drive by nurser, just the occasional visit, but if he's not feeling well or is upset he will cuddle in and nurse for quite a while.

[LilMomma83]

He only drinks milk in a bottle, he actually had weened from it himself but when I got pregnant we let him have it again because nursing was so painful for me, it's mostly a substitute...like when he is home with DH or when he arrives to preschool/daycare in the morning (this probably sounds harsh, but, it is just too much for me to nurse him in the morning before we leave and several nights a week he is asleep by the time I get home)

I don't really want to ween him (I like the connection, and he has some health issues, and also he doesn't eat much food for me-though he does for everyone else), but, I'm also kind of wondering if he will ever wean on his own? My mom tandem nursed and she said the older child did not want to wean and it was unpleasant making him do so (about 4yo) when she got pregnant with the 3rd baby. I also was close to 4 when I weaned...maybe it's in his genes! But, I just don't know about nursing him that long! I feel selfish but, I am so tired of my body belonging to my kids!

FYI- I don't think DH will *make* me wean him, but, he brings it up a lot...I think he'd like me to pump and feed him in a cup but I'm a terrible pumper and DS1 has refused BM from anything but he tap since he was about 5mos old.

[MissMommyNiceNice]

Sounds like you're just going through a rough patch.

DH was like yours for a while. I finally just cut down how much I was actually nursing in front of him. Whatever. And you know what? DS weaned himself just about a month ago at 33 mos old with very little trouble at all. One day turned into two turned into a week, turned into three...And I am pgs and it was getting to be too much, but I wasn't going to force it. It was just all of the sudden he was down to nursing just at bedtime for a few minutes and then not at all.

In your situation, if you are still nursing his baby bro, I don't think it's a big deal to let him have it occaisionally or even as much as he wants. I'm sort of interested to see what's going to happen when our new LO arrives in early January. I know a lot of kids forget how. But I'm pretty sure he's going to be asking for it again...We'll have to see how it plays out.

[kiwiva]

Since you don't sound like you actually want to wean right now, I would suggest that you don't. It's really not fair of your DH to not help you get DS off the bottle if you won't wean. I know some DHs can get all uptight about older babies continuing to nurse (at least the threads do tend to come up) but the nursing relationship is between you and your DS, your DH shouldn't try to strong arm you on this one. I would try to understand what his issue is. Have you asked him why he is insisting on this? I know that "extended nursing" isn't the norm, but really 2.5 is still a baby. Yes, I am sure he looks like a big boy compared to his younger sib but he's still young and it is totally reasonable that he would want to continue nursing, especially since he sees it all the time.

Definitely try to not get ahead of yourself by worrying about the ages of you and your sibs weaning and worrying about what if your DS won't wean until 4 yo and you need to force it. Maybe he will be ready in 2 months or 6 months, you never know. So try not to go there. If you are not ready now then you are not, don't worry about if you don't do it now it will be worse later. Not helpful to you.

I really would hesitate to wean a child in the middle of cold and flu season if I had a choice. And where you've mentioned that he has health problems, it seems like it may not be the best choice right now.

Also if he is not ready to wean, do you really want to associate something unpleasant with Christmas? There is so much chaos and activity leading up to Christmas, I imagine that he may have greater need leading up to the holiday as well. Who needs to add more stress into the equation?

If you decide that weaning is the best choice for you and your DS, then everything I have read suggests that gradual is absolutely the best. Dropping 1 nursing at a time and substituting other connection activities (bc that need will remain) is the best way. At 2.5 Christmas has no meaning at this point, he will just understand that one day he can nurse and suddenly the next day he cannot no matter how much you explain it to him between now and then. So as gradually as possible is the way to go.

Maybe see if you can get ahold of "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler." She talks about weaning in there and also talks about the benefits of continued nursing during toddlerhood if you decide to go that way.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by LilMomma83

I don't really want to ween him (I like the connection, and he has some health issues, and also he doesn't eat much food for me-though he does for everyone else), but, I'm also kind of wondering if he will ever wean on his own?

Yes - he will wean on his own. I know you know that, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else!

There are many excellent reasons to nurse a child - http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html has some good info that may affirm your intuition.

I hope you find ideas that help from the MDC Mamas here and discover the right path for you and your son.