Feeling the urge to vent again, sorry!

[Serenyd]

I feel like a fat ugly cow with stretch marks and I'm afraid I'll never look good or feel good about my body again. I'm also upset because DP is frustrated with the kids and keeps blowing up about nothing and taking it out on them, and I'm having to tip-toe around him and his moodiness to keep him from snapping at me, too. He's mad at me because I'm not doing more to help with the house & kids, but I'm still hurting in my belly/pelvis and sore in my perineal area, with a 2nd degree tear that won't heal if I don't get some rest. I just want to let my body heal before I start doing a bunch of housework again. It's still painful to bend and lift, and he doesn't seem to get it that I'm not 100% yet. And I keep getting short of breath, I think because I lost a good bit of blood and I might be a little anemic. I tried to tell him this but he blew me off. He says I need to get up and do more and I'll feel better. As if dd will let me do much! She's pretty much attached 24/7, just like my other two were, and he should know that by now, this isn't our first kid! I think he's spoiled/ignorant because I've always breastfed and he really doesn't have to participate much in the newborn stage. Ditto for the housecleaning and taking care of the kids, I do most of that usually, so it's a shock for him to have to be the primary caregiver. And he's had plenty of breaks, his mom and my mom have both helped out with kids several times. I told him, "Welcome to my world" and he was like "OH WHAT-EVER."

Tomorrow I'll be 1 week postpartum and hopefully things will start getting back to normal. I've finally stopped having afterpains. DP is supposed to go back to work monday, but I bet he goes back early. He doesn't handle being cooped up in the house very well. He's taking the kids to a movie this afternoon, so maybe that will help him chill out.

Has/is anyone using mederma for stretch marks? I happened to have some and I just started using it, but I wonder if it will actually help or not? Anyone know?

[firewoman]

Don't get up and do more than you should. I did on my own accord and I regret it now. My bleeding was so minimal the first week and came back with a vengence the second week and I'm still bleeding and my baby is three weeks today. Take care of yourself and stay in bed. When I was 5 days postpartum I bawled my eyes out. I had a plugged duct, had been up and around WAY too much. These early days are for you and the baby to bond. Don't let anyone take that from you. Did you UC or do you have a midwife? If you have a midwife, I would have her tell you in front of your DP that you NEED to be in bed resting most of the day. You can get up and move around later when the baby is older and your crotch is healed!

[abc123xyz]

Totally don't apologize about venting! These early PP days are all about venting! But honestly, you need to get that DP of yours some books to read! It is highly recommended that you have a complete 10 days of rest with only trips to the bathroom and to replenish your stash of snacks and drinks. It is so important because of the biology behind birth. You need those days of no elevated blood pressure to allow the uterus adequate time to shrink down, your body to replenish or cycle out excess blood/blood loss in your case, and to control bleeding. The uterus is an organ and it opened up to let your baby out but it doesn't scab over like an exterior wound. It basically clots over and then works to close back up. When your blood pressure gets too high from over activity or stress, that clot opens and then you have the excess bleeding! You need to stress this to DP or refer him somewhere he can get this info. Plus that tear you have...Oh I had three third degree tears and I totally feel you!!! Bless your heart! Tell him to bundle the kids up and goto the park (if it's cold there) or movie, like you said he did today, OR ANYTHING REALLY!!!! I demand at least 2 weeks off after giving birth! No which way about it! And all the help you can recruit...do that!!!! If it's not him, then someone! A mother's helper??? A local teenager who can help you after she gets done with school for a few hours maybe?? Something to give you the absolute rest you need! I hope this resolves for you!

[Serenyd]

Thanks for the support mamas! It really makes a difference.