Swearing? - Page 2

[Hedgehog Mtn]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

We do swear. My kids know that some words are grown up words and some are not. Some are also ok at our house and not ok other places.

Pretty much that.

We don't ever permit using a curse word (or a mean one for that matter) towards someone else. I don't let my kids drink alcohol or other adult things so I don't feel bad telling them there are words they can't use that we can. I do try hard to limit my own use of them and usually it's in pain or REALLY bad news (like "honey I totaled the car this morning")

Sara

[bronxmom]

Just wanted to add that we never use the "b" word and would be very upset if our children did. We would and have explained its sexist origins and usage. To me, swearing encompasses a very wide range of things and content and context are everything.

[boheime]

I don't swear often. When I do, it's usually because some driver has almost caused an accident. Dh swears much more frequently - mainly when coming home from work and talking about work.

Words are just that in our house. There are no "grown up" words, etc. I have explained to my kids that swear words aren't particularly creative and in general aren't the most effective way to communicate your thoughts. There are many wonderful words in our language to effectively communicate. If someone says a swear word, I don't sweat it. However, I may say a simple, "Watch the language, please." I am particularly inclined to say this if someone is swearing more. This mainly applies to my husband (again, after coming home from a bad day at work). Anyone can say this to anyone else in our home. The kids will often give dh a, "Please watch your language, Daddy." To which he apologizes and watches his language more.

[ProtoLawyer]

My language ...could be better. I'm a royal klutz and every burn, cut, or stub is accompanied by at least mild cursing.

My stepdaughter knows these words, and she knows there better be a good reason to use them in our house, and they don't get directed at other people.

She also knows they're off limits at school or at anyone else's house, ESPECIALLY anyone she calls "grandma." (I know her mom's language use is similar to mine, though I have no idea what her policy is at her house.)


So far, so good..."What did you do on your first sleepover?" "Jade and I stayed up ALL NIGHT and said swear words and played Harry Potter! It was SO COOL!"

[meemee]

i swear mildly.

however my dd was brought up to know the power of words - rather intonations. she had the right to say anything she wanted as long as she wasnt intentionallyy hurting anyone.

she went thru a phase of saying the f-word as her dad uses it regularly, but what was funny when she decided a certain word was a bad word and i should not use it at all.

dd has heard sh** come out of me often enough but she was more attracted by her dad's F***.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I do use the "small" swear words 2 of them on occasion ie stumping a toe mashing a finger etc. The kids know those are not nice words and I tell them not to say it again if I hear them. I never told them they where adult words but I did tell them they where not nice and as such they shouldnt say them.

There are certain situations where it would be horrific should they say them so I discourage it. I do try to limit my use of them but if one slips out I dont worry much about it.

My reaction to the word usually depends on the word for something like s*** I say that isnt very nice and not appropriate for anyone to say and for the B,F or GD words those I tell them in no uncertain terms they are never to say it again and consequence happen if it is repeated. I have never nor will I ever say those words in front of my kids. I cannot STAND those words to the point of having them blocked on my computer with word changer in firefox. But I dont consider crap or fart or oh my gosh to be bad words at all. They have however heard them on TV and know they exist luckily it hasnt been an issue yet.

[dawningmama]

We swear, my kids swear. All the time. We have never even discussed it, but my kids have all picked up on when it is and is not appropriate to swear. My 12 year old will curse all $#$^* day, but NEVER in front of his grandma (MIL) and only very mild curses in front of my mother (who curses quite a bit). When they were in school and now (we homeschool) when they are in classes/on field trips, they don't curse. And they don't curse in front of their friends who don't curse.

I thought it was completely adorable when they would "try on" curses as toddlers. I also thought it was completely adorable when they would try on mature multi-syllabic words. One of the girls used to say "Actually, here's how it is" at the start of pretty much every sentence. So cute in baby-voice.

eta: This is pretty regional, it seems to me. In my daily life, everyone curses. My workplace is full of potty-mouths. All my friends curse, although many do so less in front of kids or in "official" social meetings (like homeschool group business meetings or PTA meetings). We throw around the F-bomb like it's spare change.

[sgmom]

I'm a big believer in words being words, and that there are no bad words, only bad intentions. I'm aware of how and when we (the adults) use the swear words, but we don't hide that we do it. Like someone said earlier in this thread, kids learn quickly that certain words are inappropriate for children and not socially acceptable, and so they often just don't say them.

[CheriK]

I'm actually glad to read this thread, as I agree with most of the replies ("Words are words"). I do swear, probably more than I should, and my kids will use some of those words. . .although they are more likely to tell me that I shouldn't say XYZ. We also talk about choosing your words for your audience, which is about more than swearing. I did try to modify my language at first after having children (i.e. using "poop" instead of the alternative), until our neighbor made a comment about one of her sons saying "poop" and how horrible that was (he probably heard it from one of my children ). Which really brought home the point that a "bad" word simply depends on the audience.

Funny story - the first time one of my children swore. . . We were at the drugstore and I had pulled the kids in our wagon. I'd asked an employeee for help finding something, and was hauling the wagon after me but not really paying attention to my children (I think my twins were about 2 1/2 at the time). My son stood up in the wagon and yelled "SHIT" at the top of his lungs. He'd obviously already internalized that these types of words have high attention-getting value. I actually found it more funny than embarrassing (and the employee was a college-age guy, who probably didn't even realize that 2 year olds shouldn't say that word).

[One_Girl]

I don't swear in front of my dd. When dd picks up negative words and uses them at home I tell her those aren't appropriate words to use in our family. I usually don't use swear words or put downs. On the few occasions I have and dd has picked up on them I tell her we should both work on not using those words and we do.
I don't believe in having a double standard when it comes for language because I think part of being a parent is being a good role model. Swear words are words that carry a lot of heat and they are generally viewed as very negative words. I personally don't like to be around swearing and I don't gravitate towards people who swear, but each family needs to make their own choice. There are many negative consequences for children who swear in our society and there are some for adults who swear. It is also very hard to just stop swearing when you are in the habit of it and that can cause a lot of problems for children and adults when they are in school or work.

[phathui5]

I generally don't swear. Dh does around "the guys," but not around the kids.

I don't allow my children to use "swear words," and yes, our policy is that those are "adult words" and they can decide about them when they're adults.

[RasJi7]

I'm so glad I found this thread. My 2yo has been using the f word because DH says it. Actually he says "f****** thing". My husband is always fixing something. Now my son says it when his trike isn't doing what he wants it to do, etc.

I was approaching the situation like it was so serious, I am an 'Oh my Gosh' person and that's at something serious, also I have a high pain tollerance and so even pretty bad injuries get a deep breath and that's about it. And I grew up going to catholic school...

First I tried ignoring the word for about a week or so, he kept saying it so I started pretending he was saying it wrong, no Daddy says "fixing things!" LOL. WHo was I kidding? Now I've been trying to help him expand his vocabulary, when I hear him say it I'll give him more ways to say what he is feeling.

After reading this thread I feel I was being uptight. Today I was telling him it's a bad word then I said dirty word, and it really got me thinking, really? is it really a bad word? Tomorrow if he says it I might just tell him what it means... jk...maybe, "is your tricycle really making baby tricycles?" I know he'd say yes and think that was hilarious.

I love being a Mom!

[One_Girl]

double posted for some reason

[PGTlatte]

I try not to swear but it happens sometimes. Usually when I'm driving, or sometimes when all three dogs go off barking at a really bad time. I feel a responsibility to explain to our kids, especially the super-outgoing 7 yo, which words will not be acceptable to other adults and will get him into trouble in activities with other kids/adults; which words will get other kids into trouble with their parents if they learn them from him; and which will have other people thinking he's a really rude kid if he's heard using them. He processes all this information. He does not want to be thought of badly. After I swear I generally catch myself, apologize, and explain that was "one of those words".

[Breeder]

Originally Posted by Hedgehog Mtn

Pretty much that.

We don't ever permit using a curse word (or a mean one for that matter) towards someone else. I don't let my kids drink alcohol or other adult things so I don't feel bad telling them there are words they can't use that we can. I do try hard to limit my own use of them and usually it's in pain or REALLY bad news (like "honey I totaled the car this morning")

Sara

Bolding mine..... Yes, this.

[aslyn]

We have potty mouths, the kids do not...my dd (9) uses "barnacles" from sponge bob square pants when shes upset but thats as close at it gets. My 7 yr old one time said "that scared the he** outta me" when I said "what did you say he said "that scared the heck outta me" and we left it at that..I dont chastize them for a slip but they all know that adult words are for adults..just like other "adult only" stuff

Another family we know allows their children to say whatever they want to whoever they want..the F bomb, B word, and the P words are part of everyday conversation with their 6 yr old, but my kids only said its not cool to call people bad names..so they just don't use the language

[hollytheteacher]

I don't swear in front of ds....I may have spelled a swear in front of him before though (not for much longer as he is now interested in sounding out words).

I have accidentally swore (sh*t) a few times and then quickly apologized and said "wow that wasn't' a nice word; I should have said shoot" ...things like that.

BUT i work with kids for a living so i'm pretty used to not swearing anyway.

[CliffRose]

I decided to make a big effort to stop using "bad" words after, the same day, ds told me "do you know that f***ing sh*t is a bad word?" and asked me in front of someone why I had called a certain person a fat cow (he wasn't supposed to hear that). That was so embarassing!

[Mittsy]

We do swear here. I swear on occasion when I'm pretty mad, but dh swears quite a bit. Both of my kids have sworn before but we try to give them better options to express anger, and they know that swearing outside of our house is a big no no.

[shishkeberry]

I swear like a sailor...can't help it! I am always swearing in front of my DS. I don't swear AT him, but he hears me say "bad" words a lot. The worst that I have ever heard my DS say was "bastard" and when he saw the look on our faces he immediately apologized. Like another PP, he says "barnacles", "fish paste" (from Spongebob) and "Oh, cannonballs" (from Flapjack).