Twin Toddler bedtime hell......

[valkyrina]

Okay, it's really just one of them. But it's bad. The boys just turned two, and have been sleeping on a queen mattress together. Life was good, they had FINALLY started to sleep pretty well, etc. Then, they started waking more in the night. A lot more. We figured out that what was happening was that every time Owen would move in the night, he would move the blankets and Jonah would wake up. Jonah's crying would then wake Owen up. So we put them in their own toddler beds, and we were all very excited. Jonah stays in his bed and goes to sleep every single night. Owen refuses to stay in his bed, and both naptime and bedtime have become huge, ugly battles with him.

I don't get it. We have a consistent, relaxing bedtime routine (since they were 3 months old). They love their beds and seem to feel secure there. We resorted to trying the supernanny technique of just putting him back in his bed, over and over and over again. He gets out of his bed upwards of 200 times. Every. Single. Night. Not even crying, he just does it again and again and again. Before you even put him down, he's scrambling to get back up. DH tried putting him in time out, but it just made things worse.

So basically, all I want is for him to stay in his bed, because the few times that we've managed to make that happen, he falls asleep easily and quickly. I would love to hear any ideas you all might have. We are willing to do just about anything, except put him in our bed (we coslept for a year, but they have also been in their own room for a year, and whenever Owen is in bed with us, nobody gets any sleep.)

Thanks in advance, ladies! I always search around on the internet before I come here, but I should just know by now to come here first. Just finished reading a bunch of articles about how to lock your toddler in his room and let him scream for as long as it takes. not going to happen.

[LCBMAX]

I have no advice, just awe that you seem quite sane and have twins. Also, very curious - where does Owen want to go? what does he want to do? What happens when you let that spin out? (If we do that, things get worse, but from your post it's not clear what worse would be other than what cosleeping has been for you.)

[valkyrina]

I'm not really sure where he wants to go, but we usually sit in the rocking chair by their beds, and he just comes over and stands there until you pick him up. We've tried ignoring him and just sitting quietly, but then he pounces. We've tried, picking up and not just gently putting him in bed, but he gets right out. We've tried putting him in his bed and explaining that it's bed time, everyone goes to sleep, etc. We've spent days and days and days talking about how everyone gets in their bed and stays in their bed (Little Bear, Uncle Brian, Poppa, etc.). That one worked, but only for a night.

I don't know. I am trying to look at this and see what his need is that's not being met, what's causing him to do this. I can't see a lot. It seems like he just can't settle and doesn't want to go to sleep, and I don't know how to help him do it. I can't rock him to sleep without rocking his brother, and my back just can't handle the logistics of that anymore, and I am willing to sit by their beds as long as it takes, but I can't climb in there with him.

Thanks in advance for the fresh eyes, ladies.

[Nightswimming]

What about laying down with Owen in his bed until he falls asleep? Do you think that might work?

[guest9955]

maybe owen just needs to be with you? as PP said maybe you could lay down with him, or even let him sleep with you in your bed for all or part of the night? i think some kids just have a harder time sleeping with out the feeling of someone next to them. My dd is 15 months and to this day cant sleep with out me or DH at night. Its easier to sleep with her then fight all night long.

[katsob]

Ok I am a stepmom to twin two year olds so I know what your going through we ended up getting a comfy chair and putting it in their room and sitting in their room with them till they fell asleep usally it takes 10-20 min this worked because the kids kept getting out of bed because they didnt think they were missing anything, or we were more of a comfort to them which is true i dont know but it worked for us maybe it will work for you

[emejeantwinmachine]

hey, I am a single mom of twin almost 3 year old girls, first year no sleep, from there on out it seemed fine until just recently, one of them is always waking and jumping outta bed randomly just like with you and it's kinda sad the other is always woken up too. Not sure what that is but I just keep their routines the same every night and after we say goodnight to everyone we love I sit down sideways in their doorway and read on my facebook on my cell lol I make no noise and focus on my phone. They just like my presence or rather they know if I'm sitting there that I will just quietly put them back into bed and sit back down. They know this cuz I've done it a million times and I am so darn boring it's not even funny. Now they figure it's a waste of their time I think lol best of luck mama! stay strong!! It's always something when it comes to twins haha

[Learning_Mum]

How about pushing their beds together so they each have their own bed and blankets but are still close and can touch and snuggle if they need to? I do this with my boys who are 6yo and 3yo and then I lie down in the middle of them until they go to sleep.

[4Marmalade]

Those bedtime troubles can be maddening when you're right in the middle of it!  My twins have had their share of ups and downs but are mostly good sleepers.  From the start we co-slept with them so they were used to us falling asleep with them.  At around age 2-1/2 I started to wean them from their bedtime nursing and putting them in their own bed so we started lying between them, reading and then just cuddling to sleep.  They are almost 4 and we still do this.  We did it with my older two as well and around ages 4-6 they no longer needed us to lie there any more and could fall asleep on their own.  Of course, it doesn't always stop the night wakings but when it was really bad, one of us would just sleep with them.  Now they usually wake up once but they walk down to our room and just crawl into our bed with us.