I feel like I'm doing something bad.

[kriket]

I'm not a shy person. I do what I do when I do. However sometimes I *feel* like nursing the sprout is bad, or inappropriate. Especially around family or crowded places. My side of the family is super supportive, and I don't have a problem nursing around them. My husband's side is all men, and they are a bit socially awkward (they're nerds to the highest degree) 6 months later I still leave the room to nurse when they come over.

I was at a big suburban restaurant with my grandparents and DS obviously wanted to nurse. I felt soooo uncomfortable. I should have asked the waitress if there was somewhere I could go. But I hate that feeling KWIM? I feel like everyone else is eating, why shouldn't he? No one said anything to me except my lovely grammy. Dad was born in '57 which was obviously the peak of formula or something. She frequently talks about how he is getting teeth and I will have to 'stop that' soon. She isn't judging, and isn't mean, but she's my grammy and I don't want to go on a tangent about breast milk. I just want to ask her what she expects him to eat if not breast milk! I will probably just keep nursing and keep listening to the comments.*sigh*

so, how long does it take to get used to nursing in the middle of a mall or restaurant out in mainstream USA? I need to go to a LLL meeting. I don't think I have seen a single other mom nurse since DS was born.

[KristyDi]

Do go to an LLL meeting. Maybe see if you can find a nursing friend to go out with. NIP with a buddy is less imtimidating and can help you get used to it.

Also consider gently saying something to you grammy. From how you've described her, she wouldn't want to continually hurt your feelings. Maybe something like, "Actually grammy kids can nurse just fine with teeth. My ped recommends nursing for at least the first year." Just every time she makes a comment about having to stop gently and with a smile assure her that you have no intention of weaning. You don't have to go on a tangent or be dramatic. Pulling the dr card might help to.

Keep reminding yourself that you aren't doing anything wrong, in fact quite the opposite. You're doing the best thing for your LO.

[AFWife]

I agree with citing the doctor with your grammy. It sounds like she'd be understanding if you just explained things.

and I can understand. Normally I'm all about NIP and have zero issues with doing it whenever and wherever. But, when we go visit a certain group of friends I can't seem to bring myself to do so. They're VERY conservative church family...Like, they don't go swimming in public conservative
(Examples: i was nursing in the women's bathroom on the comfy couch at the church and the daughter walked in to wash her hands. She said, "are you feeding him?" I told her yes and she said, "Do you need to go somewhere else?" I was confused and told her no and she replied, "Oh, Ok. I just wasn't sure if this was private enough for you"...and the mother specifically said to me once, "The world is not made for nursing mothers. I usually just went to the car")
So, when we're out to eat or something I get all nervous when DS gets hungry and usually head out to the car. *sighs* Mostly because I don't want to have to explain myself (you should have seen the looks I got for wearing a tank top)


Don't put yourself down about it! Do what feels comfortable to YOU. IMO, that's what Lactivism is all about!

[jocelynr]

Do get to an LLL meeting, or find someone from here (Find Your Tribe) to go out and NIP with. I always feel better when I NIP with friends (who also have toddlers, so my 15 month old is younger than some).

I agree that maybe you should say something to granny. I wouldn't go on a huge "why bm is best" thing, but just say how long you plan to nurse and that the WHO recommends til at least age 2.

[Bokonon]

Being confident about it is HUGE. It tells people without even using words that this is NORMAL and ACCEPTABLE, and you will not be swayed. Hold your head up and proudly feed your baby, and if anyone asks, use that as an opportunity to gently educate people about breastfeeding, or even just say "I'm so proud of us both for making it so far!"

[boheime]

I nurse any and everywhere...except around my ILs. I don't need the gossip and attacks about being a low supply mom and using LAs to nurse. I hate leaving the room, but around them (and we avoid ever seeing them for the most part), I just don't want to deal with them attacking me. And thus, I feel I'm not being authentic to myself and my beliefs.

[bobandjess99]

I've always felt okay about it. The few times I started to get a "funny" feeling in my tummy, I just ruthlessly stamped it down, set my jaw, and proceeded.

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by boheime

I nurse any and everywhere...except around my ILs. I don't need the gossip and attacks about being a low supply mom and using LAs to nurse. I hate leaving the room, but around them (and we avoid ever seeing them for the most part), I just don't want to deal with them attacking me. And thus, I feel I'm not being authentic to myself and my beliefs.

I've been exactly where you are! This being my second time around I'm determined (and have enlisted the support of my DH) to nurse ANYWHERE. Even in front of his BIG C conservative father. THey came to our place and I just warned them ahead of time, "baby nurses a lot - just letting you know" and warning them as she wanted to nurse - "baby's going to feed now" and putting on a little face of my own. To be honest I'm still not comfortable doing this, but am fighting my fear! You can do it!!!

[mamazee]

I can nurse anywhere and everywhere except around my parents. They're weirded out by bf, so I'm weirded out bf around them.

Do go to a LLL meeting, but don't feel bad if you don't feel comfortable nursing around some people. It's all about your comfort and the baby's comfort. Do what feels right to you.

[dianakaye]

I'm totally there too. We're approaching an age (12 months) where most everybody i know has weaned, and I rarely see anybody nip beyond a newborn stage. One reason I push past the awkward feeling I get is because I want to show other moms that it's normal and healthy. I remember when LO was younger and seeing other moms nurse toddlers in public I would think "Wow, that is so awesome, I wish I could do that with such confidence". Now I fake the confidence until I actually begin to feel confident so that it becomes the norm.

[crazyrunningmama]

Please please do go to an LLL meeting or get some support elsewhere so you can keep doing this awesome, amazing thing for yourself, for your child and for other women who will see you nursing and feel like it's normal and be more inclined to bf themselves. By NIP'ing you are making a huge difference in the world!!

[khaoskat]

Originally Posted by kriket

I don't think I have seen a single other mom nurse since DS was born.

I will be NIP at KI Sunday.

I NIP whenever DD2 wants it.

Give me until this new little one is born and I will NIP more often.

Maybe we can do a get together and have a little nursing in public get together.

[CrunchyGina]

I'll join you guys nursing around town! Kriket, I think you live near me, come to our LLL! It wasn't until I started going that I was totally comfortable NIP.

[mamadelbosque]

I NIP whenever and wherever. Occasionally I get wierd looks (one lady at a wedding gave me dirty looks when I was nursing on saturday - the guy next to her was doing his darndest to ignore the baby while feeding it a bottle...), but I just try to ignore them and smile. It is a bit odd at first, but the more you do it the less you'll think about it and be able to relax better

[khaoskat]

Just have to say that in about 5 minutes Sunday at KI I saw 2 people NIP and both seemed to be a bit on the older side (like at least 1 year old) and I made a third one.