baby only sleeps near me...

[adoptmama]

hi! i have a daytime/family bed question... a schedule is starting to emerge with my two month old, and in general, she's a good sleeper... the only trouble is that she will only sleep well if i'm right by her (ie, in the sling, sleeping next to her in bed)... this is okay, except i'm not sure how to do naps?? if we run errands in the morning, she'll take a good nap in the sling, i nap with both of my girls in the middle of the day, and then the baby will take a little cat nap in the evening, usually in the swing or on my chest. however, if i try to lay her down on the bed or in the cosleeper for a nap during the day when at home (she won't sleep in the sling unless we're out and about), she wakes up within minutes and won't go back to sleep... so then she's overtired at night time... the same thing happens on occasion at night time. sometimes i can lay her in the cosleeper and she'll sleep a good stretch there (4-6 hours) but other times, she wakes immediately and will only sleep right next to me in bed. i'm worried i'm creating a bad habit or something? i'm new to the family bed thing, so i'm not sure how to help the baby sleep if i'm not right there?? am i missing something?? thanks for any insight!

[guest9955]

this is EXACTLY how my dd was, untill about a 10 months old. now she will nap in our bed. she sleeps with us at night very very well all night long from 7p-7a. i feel like for that I can compromise.

I would say get her into a wrap that is more secure and just let her sleep in it for naps. you should be able to do anything you want with her in a wrap (almost). I milked goats, cleaned, shopped, played with other kids, cooked, everything with her sleeping in the wrap. soon you will be able to back carry her and let her nap there. I love the ergo for that.

enjoy it. it wont last forever i PROMISE

[Louisep]

I don't think you're creating any habits but responding to what she needs. My DS was the same. He wanted holding for every nap, unfortunately he hated slings until 4 months! So it's great for you that she will nap on the go. By about 4 months I could leave him on his own for naps, then we had a regression for a couple of months, and now again he will nap on his own (I still have to lie down with him at first, but can then sneak away).

[snt88]

I am in EXACTLY the same situation with my two month old. She takes great naps when I am wearing her, or if I'm sleeping with her. But I just CAN'T wear her all the time, I have back problems and there are a lot of things around the house that I can't do with her in the wrap or the beco carrier. So when we're home in the morning I'm just working on putting her down and being nearby to help her get back to sleep when she inevitably wakes up.

[rzberrymom]

Sounds like most infants I've known! She sounds very very normal! I'd say just do whatever works for now--her preferences will likely change a zillion times in the next few years.

[babeak]

Please don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that you are letting your baby train you or wrap you around their little finger, etc. Keep responding to your baby's needs the best way you can. Sleep will work itself out. I tried to schedule under pressure from a friend...it did not work and I felt horrible for the first couple of months like I was not doing it "right". Well she had kids that were sleepers from the get go and she knew nothing of my world.

I wish that I had had the confidence that I did months later when everything did finally work itself out and she could start sleeping more on her own. In the end, DD ended up beating her son out of a crib like setting and putting herself down. Mine would always wake when she peed or had to pee. She also had reflux, which also worked itself out. So, if you are listening to anyone else including books about how you should do it, then block them out and do the best that you can with what you know. It will evolve.

Now that I reread your posting...maybe she has a bit of reflux...does not like to be laid down flat since she will sleep in the swing. Maybe try an incline in the co-sleeper, etc. Or some people put their refluxing kids in a carseat and see if that works for you. It did not work for us, but worth a try. Otherwise, I found wrap to be a good place to nap and a bit more secure against my body than a sling. Moby and Ellaroo Wraps were some that I used. Are you moving when you are at home. If you sit down or try to work at a computer those are not the same motions. I could never type on the computer...like ever, somehow she would always sense that.

It will change as PP said.

Best

[adoptmama]

thank you all so much for the encouragment! it's really reassuring to hear that this is normal and expected. i'm going to find a good, supportive wrap for her to nap in and i've just been having her sleep next to me on the couch before we go to bed so i can settle her quickly if she stirs... it is really helpful to know i'm not messing anything up!

[alfabetsoup]

The flip side of not being able to sleep without you is that she will go to sleep wherever you are, which means that when you travel, you won't have to worry about her sleeping arrangements. DD1 at 3.5 still likes to have full body contact with me at all times, but she will lie down and go to sleep in any bed, anywhere, as long as I am there. We travel a lot so it's made our lives easier!