Teachers -- some perspective/reality check

[meandmine]

So, you are at school 1/2 hour beyond contract time (no biggy; we all put on lots of extra hours, of course).

You need to pack it up because you have a big project for your graduate class due and you have to go to the library to get related materials (and pick up your kids).

As you are shutting off your computer, the office pages you over the intercom. You call the front office. Principal wants a personal favor that, under normal circumstances wouldn't take much time, but because of technical problems will be time consuming. It's a one shot deal; has to happen today or not at all.

What do you say/do?

Do you screw yourself by not getting that research done for grad school and stay later to try and solve the tech problems? Or do you say "In the time I have available I am not going to be able to make it happen. I have to go collect my children and keep an appointment. I am very sorry."

Trust me, I didn't say it that well; I was embarrassed I couldn't solve the tech problem (I did try!) and groveled a bit, but I did leave -- this was the last night I could get the work done before class. A colleague, who's area is completely unrelated offered to fulfill principal's request (she has the same *working* equipment at home) which was sainted of her.

Anyway, I think I need a reality check. If I hadn't had other stuff I had to do, I would have stayed and problem solved and met the Principal's request, but I needed to leave.

M

[treemom2]

Well, you were there for your contracted hours. You did try to help which was great! Then, you had to leave to get some stuff done. I don't know your principal, so I'm not sure what her reaction was to you leaving. . .but I think most would be okay with you needing to get your research done for your grad class (DH did have one principal who would have held a grudge). I think as long as you aren't one of those teachers who leaves right when your contracted time is up everyday, you are probably okay. . .especially if you are usually helpful and willing to do extra. Honestly, most principals probably have been in similar situations (teaching, going to grad school, having a family). . .I'm sure she understood!

In this situation, I probably would have said, "I'm sorry, I'll take a look but I do have to leave on time today. I have a class project to do and need to pick up my children. I'm sorry, any other time please feel free to ask me."

[meandmine]

Thanks for your reply.

We will see about the grudge part. Up until now I have been her shining star.

I have to say I was not calm ... this was the second time this week that my family/personal life got shoved aside for work. The first time was Monday and I wound up putting dinner on the table and hiding behind my laptop for three hours to do this last minute, deadline-driven thing that I was asked to do (got a call on my home answering machine).

Don't get me wrong ... I work 50-60 hours a week on school work, but some times I should be able to be with my family or do my graduate work when I am not on contract hours -- this job pushes SO hard to take-over my life. It is really getting to me.

And I am a single mom -- when I hide behind the computer for three hours -- there isn't another parent to care for the kids.

Thanks for listening!

M

[LoveOhm]

I think as women we feel the need to put a good deal of pressure on ourselves and often take more work on than is our responsibility. My mother shared with me when I started a new job I needed to always take my lunch and not work thru it because in my last position my boss abused the fact that I was always willing to work thru lunch and acted takenaback when I said I have to leave for lunch one day......

What I took away from my mom's advice is that each decision and choice we make beyond on normal job is setting a precedence and you have to be okay with that. So you can do more than required but setting firm boundaries (whereever they are for you) would make these situations occur less and not be taken in a negative light when declined.

[meandmine]

Thanks LoveOhm for your perspective. I was going to start a separate thread on "balance for teachers" because I am really struggling with this.

Although teachers have a contract -- "working to the rule" (just to contract hours) is considered a form of strike -- the expectations are that teachers work well beyond their contract hours. They are limitless. Highly recognized teachers are either a) incredibly efficient or b) put in long hours beyond contract or c) have worked for years.

We are evaluated on our "community service" which means how often we show up and "volunteer" for evening and weekend events.

Setting limits is no excuse for not having a lesson ready for students ... the reality is our days are SO full, in order to be ready for the next day/week, the vast majority of us must work well beyond our contract.

I feel like this job owns my life and I hate that -- I can't spend time with my family, doing laundry, napping or even cooking dinner without realizing it means I have to stay up that much later at night to get my work done.

I guess, despite how much I love my work, this is not the job for me. I need to leave work at work and be with my children and take care of me. I think that is nearly impossible as a teacher.

M

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by meandmine

I feel like this job owns my life and I hate that -- I can't spend time with my family, doing laundry, napping or even cooking dinner without realizing it means I have to stay up that much later at night to get my work done.

I guess, despite how much I love my work, this is not the job for me. I need to leave work at work and be with my children and take care of me. I think that is nearly impossible as a teacher.

M

I really feel you here. In fact, despite how much I love my work, I've often fantasized about having a job that I could leave behind me at night when I go home to be with my family. I can't even imagine how it is doing a graduate degree as well--I did my master's before I had my daughter.

[KnockedUpButtercup]

Originally Posted by meandmine

Although teachers have a contract -- "working to the rule" (just to contract hours) is considered a form of strike -- the expectations are that teachers work well beyond their contract hours. They are limitless. Highly recognized teachers are either a) incredibly efficient or b) put in long hours beyond contract or c) have worked for years.


I feel like this job owns my life and I hate that -- I can't spend time with my family, doing laundry, napping or even cooking dinner without realizing it means I have to stay up that much later at night to get my work done.


M

Woman, I feel your pain - I'm in my 16th year teaching. Currently I have 5 sections of Pre-AP English I (the papers - dear God, the never ending papers...) and one section of AVID, which is a special college preparatory program that's more time-consuming than any 3 sections of English.

I have 2 teenage boys from my first marriage, and I feel like I've missed so much of their childhood.

DH and I are TTC, and we succeed, I'm taking a couple of years off. It will mean pulling money out of my 403b to pay off debt, but I'm fine with that. I can't live like this forever.



Holly

[KnockedUpButtercup]

Sorry - I feel like I hijacked your thread. I was trying to express empathy and tapped into some (not so deeply) buried angst.



H.

[meandmine]

I SO appreciated your "me too" -- that's perspective. Why oh why is our profession like this?

I love what I do, but ... My family needs a sane parent.

M

[kathleen_mary]

But don't you love getting your summers off?

Summer!! Ha! I've been in school myself working on the endless new certification requirements, teaching summer school, working another job to make enough money when I was at a really low-paying school, etc.

I've been in education for about ten years, but have only spent 3 of them working as a classroom teacher. My husband doesn't really like it when I'm working at a school. At the moment I'm expecting a baby and so I've been working doing 1:1 reading intervention with private clients. It's so much better. My time is respected by my clients. I make more money per hour. I control what I teach.

I was thinking that maybe I had just been working really crappy teaching positions - I've always taught in low-income schools that were struggling with low test scores, etc. Or maybe that it would get better as I did it more. But it sounds like some veteran teachers here have the same issues!

I really love the actual teaching part, but I hate all the crap that comes with it.

[meandmine]

Well, this isn't really a scientific sampling :-).

I *do* work at a Title One school and it is huge -- a big, low-income school -- that makes it really hard. I think it can be easier at a smaller, middle-class school at least that is my fantasy. I worked as a long-term sub at such a school and loved it! Still had to work at home some, but not nearly as much.

Size matters in my position because I am a resource teacher/specialist and I see alllll the children :-).

Glad the 1:1 is working out -- good move.

M

[treemom2]

Originally Posted by kathleen_mary

But don't you love getting your summers off?

Ha, how many teachers make enough money during the school year so they can take the summers off?!!? My DH has always had to work a summer job. When we were in the states a couple jobs didn't pay teachers in the summer and paid them so badly that we had to work all summer in order to pay our bills. One job as a 5th year teacher, we only made $25 too much every year to qualify for food stamps. . .good thing we qualified for Medicaid though (well the kids qualified. . .not us so DH and I were uninsured). Granted, before we had kids and both DH and I were working (I was a school guidance counselor) we were much better off. . .but when we had kids and I stopped working. . .ugh!

About putting in a lot of hours. . .My DH's school really looks down on those teachers who refuse to do anything extra. . .who only work for contracted hours and complain anytime they are asked to do extra. This year my DH is the SST chair (for identifying students with special needs), he's the chair of the School Improvement committee (next year is accreditation), doing a horticulture club for the students, and is a special education teacher (which requires IEPs, staying after to help students who have had difficult days, going into classrooms. . .he only gets 30 minutes a day for lunch/prep from 2:30pm to 3:00pm and that's only if something doesn't happen during the day that requires his help or if there isn't a meeting). This year he is rarely home before 5pm He also wants to continue working on his masters. . .when he'll find the time and still pay attention to us is beyond me.

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by meandmine

I *do* work at a Title One school and it is huge -- a big, low-income school -- that makes it really hard. I think it can be easier at a smaller, middle-class school at least that is my fantasy. I worked as a long-term sub at such a school and loved it! Still had to work at home some, but not nearly as much.

I've done both, and I work as much at my upper-middle class suburban school as I did at my overcrowded, low-resource, inner-city school.