mamas with more than one dk

[transylvania_mom]

how do you do it???? I'm going nuts here. I was lucky to have a quick recovery, because I am on my own with the newborn and 4.5 yo ds. Dh works weekend shifts (Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays, 12h+ a day) and goes to school during the week. When he has a little bit of time, he drives ds to activities. Ds goes to kindergarten, but only 3h/day. And during the weekend we drive each other crazy!!!! He has so much energy and I can't spend too much time with him. I sometimes put dd in a sling and cook or wash/feed/dress ds (he does most of these things but still needs some help).

Sometimes dd doesn't want to be in the sling and I feel so guilty to let her cry while getting ds ready for school, give him a bath etc. I end up frustrated and expect ds to do things he's not able to do yet, and then I yell at him and feel guilty again

I don't want (can't afford) to pay someone to help; MIL will be here in 2 weeks and will live with us for a couple of months, the problem is I need to hang on for a while until she gets here.

I just needed to vent and was also wodering if there are other mamas who go through the same thing. What do you do so you don't yell at the older dk?

[lil_stinkyfeet]

I feel for you.. This time around has been a big struggle because the baby is really fussy and cries most of the day and night!

Getting out of the house helps me keep my sanity a little and speeds up the day. Even if we have something simple to do it is still a small break from the house.

I don't have any help during the day but my dh is home in the evening to give me a small break from the chaos.

[kjs]

I am in the same boat, My DD is almost 10 and a huge help but my DS is 5 and is very challenging right now with no sleep...I feel like a grouch with him a lot!

[boobs4milk]

we took a laze on the sofa day today. althought my kitchen is a wreck, i feel a bit better even without any sleep!

[Serenyd]

My DS was 4 3/4 when his brother was born and he acted out a lot. I had taken him out of preschool to be home with his little brother and I ended up regretting it. I think the routine would have helped keep him calmer through it. I yelled a lot. I wish I could have spent more time w/ him, but it's not easy with a newborn. It helps to have help.

[fyrebloom]

How do I do it? Just do. You have to. You figure out what has to be done, prioritize, let the housework go, shower less often and know that you just have to do what you have to to stay above water. My DS was 20 months old when my twins were born. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. This time I figure It can't be worse then it was 2 years ago when I had three under two and the twins were severely colicy. You learn to live with and eventually let go of guilt, you learn to give your attentions to the group of kids and you lean on your partner and family as much as possible. They say going from one to two is almost as hard as going from 0 to 1 and I'd argue it might very well be harder (sleep when the baby sleeps? HAHAHAHAHA!)