Is it OK to turn visitors away?

[MamatoPeach]

My husband has some family that let their kids run wild in the house, destroy it, and they are always sick. Is it OK to ask them to wait to see baby till Thanksgiving?

My husband told me I need to just accept the fact that people are going to come see the baby. I said if I am pushing out this baby I should be able to decide, and I'm not going to have the energy to clean my house after its destroyed.

[earthmama369]

Absolutely. Hell, blame swine flu if you want. You and baby deserve a peaceful nesting time.

[susanl1202]

Yes, absolutely. Unless visitors are prepared to cook, clean, help with older children and forgo all contact with the new baby (who is either asleep, nursing or in quarantine away from the nasty flu bugs) they are not welcome.

Having had children I completely respect people's babymoon space, don't feel bad about it, your baby will never be newborn again and you need time to recover. Enjoy your peace.

[starc]

Don't feel bad about it at all.

[MamatoPeach]

I might have my husband read these replies

[h@ppy mama]

I'm not in your ddc but I had to reply.

No one is entitled to come to your home and see your newborn. Sorry, but that's just a little ridiculous if you ask me. This is a special time for you and your family and it's up to YOU on who and when you want to visit.

enjoy!

[momtoS]

not from your ddc but I printed a sign for the door. Basically thanking the person, and saying that we were busy with baby or sleeping, or nursing and to please call and arrange a time to stop by. I also disconnected the door bell and put please do not knock sign.

On our answering machine we also put a message....that mom and baby were happy and healthy and to leave a message and we would call back!

[Doberbrat]

its absolutely ok to not open the door, tactfully put off visitors, flat out tell them no they cant come.

otoh, if this is your dh's family and he's not onboard, you might get stuck.

have you thought of having a meet the baby party? then you could get everyone to come over on 1 afternoon when dh is there to help clean up and get the misery over with at 1x?

[lil_stinkyfeet]

absolutely! It's your baby and I would say you are afraid of the baby catching the flu that should be an easy out given the recent outbreak.

[Kedrosami]

Yes! It is your right to be very choosy about accepting visitors, or not to have any at all! When we emailed our birth announcement to everyone, we clearly said "we are not yet accepting visitors, but we will let you know." I don't think I'd be comfortable having a bunch of kids over right now, family or not, and my baby's almost a month old! I say put your foot down on this one!

[firewoman]

It is entirely acceptable to have visitors wait to see the baby. It is the flu season and who wants to deal with a sick baby and housecleaning so soon postpartum?

[jaylily]

I'm sorry your husband feels that way. I'm sure he means well! But I agree with the others! You shouldn't be expected to have visitors over at ALL especially visitors you don't even want just yet. You need to rest and heal and don't need to be worn out by things you don't want (which will only delay healing!)

[jenak]

heck ya. This is actually the reason I encouraged my visitors to see me in the hospital - easy to blame hospital policy for keeping the kids away and no comfortable chairs to encourage them to stay. And no cleaning.

[mamatolevi]

Originally Posted by jenak

heck ya. This is actually the reason I encouraged my visitors to see me in the hospital - easy to blame hospital policy for keeping the kids away and no comfortable chairs to encourage them to stay. And no cleaning.

I like this idea!

Talk to your ped re: restricting visitors - esp older kids in school environments. Colds and flu (and I'm not even including h1n1 here) are a PITA with a newborn and, let's face it, preschool & school age kids are basically petri dishes.

If DH really wants his family to visit, then insist that they leave their kids at home (again, blame the ped) AND that either he does the cleaning up or that he forks up the money to have someone come clean for you (including doing the laundry!) when family comes to visit.

You need time to recover and heal and to get settled with nursing (if you're nursing) and into a routine for your day. It's much easier to do that w/o having to entertain guests.

ETA: now, if any guests want to come over and clean your kitchen & bathrooms, make you a meal, vacuum, or fold your laundry... bring 'em on!