DD turned 2 today
And I had a long talk with DH last night and came to the decision that I would like her to wean during my pregnancy. She's had no limits her whole life and I'm so happy for all the time she's had, but I don't want to tandem nurse for a variety of reasons. I am sad to say goodbye to nursing her, but this is the right decision for us.
The first step is that we're going to nightwean her when DH has a week when he's not working. He's a freelancer with a physically demanding job so he's never helped with nighttime stuff. We're going to use Jay Gordon's plan, though we will probably accelerate it since she's 2. I'll sleep in another room until it's over. She still wakes up 3-6 times a night and I definitely can't handle that with a newborn.
After nightweaning, I'll go to "don't offer, don't refuse" and see what happens. I am pretty sure this will be the end of naps, but she's never been a reliable napper anyway so I will just deal with it.
Interestingly, before I got pregnant, she had already started transitioning to falling asleep without nursing. She'll nurse a little, then thrash around, look at her fingers, hug her baby doll, stare into the digital clock, etc. I lay there with her and if she tries talking I tell her to be quiet. Sometimes she lets me rub her back or her head but usually not. We do about 45 minutes of this before she latches on to pass out. But last night she fell asleep without the last bit of nursing. It was pretty amazing to see her naturally make that transition. This is a sign to me that she's ready for nightweaning.
Lawschoolmama--I've heard some really lovely stories about tandem nursing. It can be a wonderful choice. I highly recommend Adventures in Tandem Nursing which has great stories from tandem families.