How do you add a second child to cosleeping situation?

[Jumae]

This is my first post on Mothering.com. I thought I had posted this a few days ago, but i can't find it on the website.

I'm currently cosleeping with my 9 mo old daughter, and my husband and I are thinking about trying for a second child sometime in the next year.

I've loved cosleeping with my daughter and ideally want to add our second child to the family bed. That being said, how do you go about doing that without the older child getting woken up every 2 hours by a newborn's cries?

Has anyone successfully tackled this? I really don't want to kick my daughter out of the bed when the second child arrives.

Are there any books, articles, etc. about this that people could recommend?

Thank you!

[Oka-san]

The only advice I have is to say that our 4yo DD doesn’t get woken up by her brother’s crying or night waking at all. I’m really the only one DS wakes up – DD and Dada just sleep away through the night. So this turned out not to be an issue for us at all.

We did move DD to a twin right next to our big bed a few months before the baby arrived, to give everyone more space (and avoid “this is your new bed because of the baby”) for DD. It’s gone very smoothly for us. Good luck!

[angelachristin]

nak

I have an almost 3-year-old and a newborn. like the pp, we moved DS to a twin bed right next to our big bed a few months before baby was born. he was very excited about his "nemo bed" (finding nemo sheets). since the baby is right next to me, I get what she needs (usually!) before it escalates to crying loudly. she doesn't seem to wake anyone but me. for the 1st week or so, DS seemed to sleep more lightly and was bothered by her noises, but now (she'll be 6 weeks on Monday) he's used to her and sleeps like a log.

[rubidoux]

Did your dd cry a lot during the night? Neither of mine have, I think bc as soon as they start sqirming they can latch on and there's nothing to cry about. The only time Augie has gotten really upset in the middle of the night was a weekend that FIL was visiting and there was nowhere for us to go bc he was slleeping in the livingroom. Aug cried a lot both nights! But I don't think Milo woke up at all.

[Jumae]

Thank you! I appreciate hearing about your experience. It's helpful to know your older child really didn't wake up with the new baby, and I love the idea of putting a twin bed specially for the older child.

[jewelsJZ]

Welcome, Jumae.
We've had no problems adding another child to our co-sleeping arrangement. We've done it twice. I put a bedrail on my side of the bed, then the baby, then me, then an older child, then dh. We have a king bed. Now we have a toddler bed next to our bed for the second older child.
Crying never woke my older ones. Like a pp said, you latch the baby right on, they don't cry. We have had crying over middle of the night diaper changes but we are pretty quick about it and it's never woken the older kids.
Currently, as you may see from my post a few minutes ago, our youngest does not sleep well at all and is awake a lot. He cries several times during the night. The older two may wake up for a moment but they go right back to sleep and in the a.m. they don't remember it, I've asked.
Best of luck to you as you add to your family. We love co-sleeping too, it is a wonderful part of parenting.

[kstandfest]

We co-slept with ds1 and ds2 for a little while in just a queen-sized bed. ds1 was only 15 months when ds2 was born, so we just switched him to cuddling with Daddy at night instead of Mama. ds2 slept on my chest for his first few weeks and then between me and the bedrail. Usually I woke up as soon as he started rooting around, before he even started crying, so ds1 rarely was woken up at night. And on the few occasions that he did wake up, Daddy was able to calm him down really quickly.
One of my favorite memories from that time happened right after I fed ds2 one night. I had just rolled onto my back with him on my chest, when ds2 rolled over to me, still mostly asleep. He reached over and took his new brother's hand and just lay there holding it for a few minutes before rolling back over to Daddy. It still makes my heart melt thinking about it!

[Therese's Mommy]

Our infants have never really cried in the night. Once they start rooting around I am awake and latching them on...no chance to cry. We recently added a third child to our family bed and the older children are never disturbed by the baby. The only time we have had a problem was when my second child was having problems with her allergies. At that point she and I left the family bed, but I am still not sure she would have disturbed her older sister, I just left with her because I got sick of continually going back in the bedroom to put her back to sleep. I took her to the guest room where I could watch some tv after she fell back asleep.

Beth

[Peony]

When DD2 born and was O2 dependent until 7 months of age, we added another bed in the room because I got tangles in the tubing enough as it was. DD2 and I were on one, DH and DD1 on the other. DD1 never woke up with DD2.



When DS came along, both the girls were still in the bedroom. This time around it was a disaster. DS is a huge snorter, he snorts the entire time while nursing, he is soo noisy! DD2 got woken up constantly, many times a night, she was cranky. She is a very light sleeper. We ended up moving DH and DD2 to another room while DD1 remained with DS and I.

[MacKinnon]

DD was just shy of 3 when DS was born, we transitioned her to bedtimes with Daddy when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. Daddy did all bedtimes and middle of the night waking, so that when baby came, she was ready for the change. I slept the first few weeks in a separate bed with DS. We did a few weeks all together, but for us, it didn't work well. We ended up co-sleeping with separate children in separate beds, in the same room. I sleep with DS, DD sleeps with DH. I will note that they never wake each other, even when one is very upset, they sleep through it all!!