There have been questions lately about open adoption and what it looks like. I can't say it is right for every family or every situation, but it is working GREAT for us!
We just had our first visit with the bmom (Miss A) since placement. We met at a neutral location for about an hour. I was actually kind of nervous because we had to drive two hours to get there and I didn't know how all the kids would do and if the baby would be fussy. Also there was a last-minute change in plans (we were supposed to meet tomorrow) and I was worried that things would be weird.
When we got there, Miss A and her dad were there waiting (we were late, no surprise) and there were smiles all around. I got the baby out of his car seat and handed him right over, just like to aunties and all the people at church who want a turn. She commented on how he'd grown and how his color is darkening. He woke up and was hungry so I made a bottle and let her feed him some. Our older kids played there on the playland and we had a really nice chat. Miss A told us how she is working on getting her GED (yay!) and about the new puppy she got. We all enjoyed Baby Bear's cute expressions and commented on how strong he is and how beautiful.
Near the end of the visit Baby Bear had a full diaper and Hubby took him to freshen him, so Miss A and her Dad left so she would not have to say goodbye to him and cry in front of us (her choice). Overall it seemed really positive and friendly. I loved it. She was totally respectful of us and we also were of her.
I like being able to email her and send her pictures because she has said she really appreciates it.
We came directly back home to give Little Mister his nap. I was so worried about the long drive but the kids did super. Miss A gave Baby Bear the Halloween costume she'd bought for him and a teddy bear.
I know she misses him a lot and I grieve for her but she has said several times she feels like she has done the right thing. While I am sure we'll have our hiccups in establishing this unusual relationship, I think so far it is working out really well and I am so glad our baby will have even more people who love him from her family and that he'll know that Miss A loves him a lot. That means so much to me. It was also cool to ask her stuff like whether she sneezes five times or whether she can raise one eyebrow. I think Bbear has her smile and I love it.
People who are considering adoption and thinking about whether open adoption is right for you, I just wanted to share our story. I would not have had the courage to say yes to such an open adoption without the stories from other moms, a friend of mine in particular. But I am SO glad I did!
We just had our first visit with the bmom (Miss A) since placement. We met at a neutral location for about an hour. I was actually kind of nervous because we had to drive two hours to get there and I didn't know how all the kids would do and if the baby would be fussy. Also there was a last-minute change in plans (we were supposed to meet tomorrow) and I was worried that things would be weird.
When we got there, Miss A and her dad were there waiting (we were late, no surprise) and there were smiles all around. I got the baby out of his car seat and handed him right over, just like to aunties and all the people at church who want a turn. She commented on how he'd grown and how his color is darkening. He woke up and was hungry so I made a bottle and let her feed him some. Our older kids played there on the playland and we had a really nice chat. Miss A told us how she is working on getting her GED (yay!) and about the new puppy she got. We all enjoyed Baby Bear's cute expressions and commented on how strong he is and how beautiful.
Near the end of the visit Baby Bear had a full diaper and Hubby took him to freshen him, so Miss A and her Dad left so she would not have to say goodbye to him and cry in front of us (her choice). Overall it seemed really positive and friendly. I loved it. She was totally respectful of us and we also were of her.
I like being able to email her and send her pictures because she has said she really appreciates it.
We came directly back home to give Little Mister his nap. I was so worried about the long drive but the kids did super. Miss A gave Baby Bear the Halloween costume she'd bought for him and a teddy bear.
I know she misses him a lot and I grieve for her but she has said several times she feels like she has done the right thing. While I am sure we'll have our hiccups in establishing this unusual relationship, I think so far it is working out really well and I am so glad our baby will have even more people who love him from her family and that he'll know that Miss A loves him a lot. That means so much to me. It was also cool to ask her stuff like whether she sneezes five times or whether she can raise one eyebrow. I think Bbear has her smile and I love it.
People who are considering adoption and thinking about whether open adoption is right for you, I just wanted to share our story. I would not have had the courage to say yes to such an open adoption without the stories from other moms, a friend of mine in particular. But I am SO glad I did!
Thanks for sharing!
