frustrated 1st time mom with 7 questions

[belltree]

Hi,

our little one is now 6 days old. We had some latch problems in the beginning and didn't get breastfeeding established before he was 30hrs old. We saw a lactation consultant and she got us on the way, but I am still having several problems or worries:

1. it still hurts for 2-3min into each feeding, sometimes I have to yelp because of the pain. I was told, this is normal and will get better?

2. We are feeding on demand every 1-3hrs, 20-30min each. But in 80% he only takes one side. Should I stop him earlier on one side and then switch him over? Should I pump the other side each time?

3. It still takes us 2-5min to establish the latch and we both get frustrated. He jerks his little head back and forth, arches backwards, twists his head over his shoulder, or just does not keep the latch but spits it out again.

4. My nipples are getting soar, with little blisters. Is this normal and I just have to sit it out?

5. I got a breastpump prescribed to help along and get more flow in the beginning, I do get ~1oz per breast if I pump for 1-15min, which I save for later. Is this enough?

6. I was told, that I would start leaking by day 3-5. I never did. My milk never just shoots out, he has to suck hard and a lot to get the milk, so does the pump. Will I ever leak, will my milk ever just come flowing easily?

7. Other moms talk about nursing in carriers, I can't even imagine, that we'll ever get there. I have to be in a certain position: cradle hold for left breast, football hold for right side. Anything else just results in frustration on both sides. Will I be able to move around more?

I'd be so glad if someone could comfort me a bit.

Thanks,
belltree

[Clearwater]

Everything that you mentioned is frusterating and sounds likes exactly what I went through (and I think many new moms do). It does get better and will sooner then later! I am a hudge fan of nursing laying down, it can be really easy because you and the baby are in a stationary position. The biggest supprise i had as a newly BF Mom is that you and the baby get really good at it after a while (maybe by 2 months). With the pumping my supply got larger and less forceful with time. It sounds like you are really giving a lot of good effort (and pain). Keep up the good work!

[Conifer]

Hi,

I'm be no means an expert, but I thought I would share. Right now I'm nursing my 5 day old too ..... but this is my 3rd baby (my next youngest is 5 so it's been a while)

1. If your nipples are already sore, it will hurt longer as you nurse. When your nipples don't have those blisters, it shouldn't hurt. Mine are sore too. It took a few feedings with a bad latch on the second day that caused the damage..ugg!

2. I usually only feed from 1 side at each feeding right now anyway. I offer the other side if he still seems hungry. This is also giving the other nipple a chance to heal and rest. Mine wants to eat every 1.5 hours anyway so I'm not really getting engorged and he seems very satisfied.

3. I've done this before and it still takes a bit to get the latch right for a while especially because my nipples are sore. Try to just relax and KNOW that it WILL get better. Getting the latch right will make your nipples heal faster and that makes everything much easier!

4. Most say you shouldn't get these blisters, but like I said before, it only takes a few bad latches at first to get these. As long as you are latching right now, they should go away. I would switch breasts at each feeding (only offering one side at a feeding...unless (of course) your baby is still hungry) this will give your nipples more time to rest and heal....jmo)

5. ???? I have only used a handpump (avent) and I usually don't even bother the first month.

6. I'm not really leaking either...but I am feeding my baby A LOT right now. You may start to leak when your baby starts spreading out his feedings more. I don't think that everyone leaks.

7. Your baby will get bigger and breastfeeding will get easier I can't nurse a newborn in a sling either (lol)! But when your baby is bigger, you will be amazed that you ever had issues...at least that's what happens yo me!!!

Good luck

[wifey`]

don't give up

I had so many challenges with my first, but nothing that could't have been solved with a little support. I gave up and used formula by month 3. I was so sad. witrh baby #2 I was NOT going to give up. I found a breastfeedg support group, I went every week. I asks lots of questions. It took a good month to get feeding established. I had to use a nipple shield and it was really hard. I did not give up. Now I have an awesome breastfeeding 7 month old.

You can do this. YOu are a mom!

[SeekingJoy]

1. The initial pain is normal and will get better. Making sure you have a great latch starting out helps, but with blisters it will still probably hurt until they heal. Do you have lanolin or some other nursing ointment to apply after feedings?

2. It is normal for some babies and mamas to only nurse one side at a time, esp as a newborn. It is more important that your LO fully empties one breast of hindmilk than it is to offer the second breast. Unless you feel uncomfortable, there is no reason to pump the other side. Just start with it next time.

3. Having it take a few minutes to get a good latch is normal. You are both learning how to nurse. You both will get better. A week from now your nursing relationship will be very different. A couple of months from now you will both probably be pros at it. The only tip I have for cutting down on the initial fussiness is to offer to nurse before your baby gets fussy and at the first subtle cues.

4. For sore nipples you can apply a nursing ointment, make sure you get a good latch, go bra and/or shirtless so your nipples can stay dry, watch for signs of thrush and otherwise just wait.

5. If the purpose of the breastpump is to just trigger letdown, it doesn't really matter how much you pump before latching. The goal is to just get the milk flowing. Do you need the pump to help build your supply? Are you concerned about your LO not getting enough?

6. Some women leak. Others don't. Some get painfully engorged and others don't. Is your LO producing enough wet diapers? Does he seem satiated? That is what matters.

If it is uncomfortable while your LO is sucking so hard to get letdown you can do a few things to help. Make sure you are resting in a super relaxing position, maybe even laying down (although I couldn't nurse this way until around 6 weeks). Have DH give you a backrub if it helps. Sip some water or Mother's Milk tea. Listen to relaxing music. Whatever helps you stay calm and relaxed and signal to your body that it is time to nurse.

7. Nursing a 6 day old is totally different than nursing an older baby or toddler with more head control. Nursing your 2nd is different than nursing your first. Probably, you eventually will find a carrier that works to nurse in. For now, focus on what works.

[SeekingJoy]

Kellymom's website has some helpful info about nursing, too.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

[isabchi]

1. it still hurts for 2-3min into each feeding, sometimes I have to yelp because of the pain. I was told, this is normal and will get better? If it's hurts, you probably need to figure out what's wrong, usually it's positioning relate it. Nursing could never be painful.
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/03a-sore_nipples.html

2. We are feeding on demand every 1-3hrs, 20-30min each. But in 80% he only takes one side. Should I stop him earlier on one side and then switch him over? Should I pump the other side each time? For your peace of mind, please, don't look at the clock, sometimes it's better to cover all the clock of the house. Loo out the baby, not the clock!. Let it finish one breast first, when he unlatch, offer the other breast, if he's done, he's done!!

3. It still takes us 2-5min to establish the latch and we both get frustrated. He jerks his little head back and forth, arches backwards, twists his head over his shoulder, or just does not keep the latch but spits it out again.

https://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVIss1-2008p7.html
, maybe in You Tube are some videos of babies let feeding
4. My nipples are getting soar, with little blisters. Is this normal and I just have to sit it out? If you have any kind of discomfort during nursing,please looking some help, mother support groups near you, another lactation consultant, some friend, etc..

5. I got a breastpump prescribed to help along and get more flow in the beginning, I do get ~1oz per breast if I pump for 1-15min, which I save for later. Is this enough? I think for some mothers pumping is an art. Babies does a better job than pumping.

6. I was told, that I would start leaking by day 3-5. I never did. My milk never just shoots out, he has to suck hard and a lot to get the milk, so does the pump. Will I ever leak, will my milk ever just come flowing easily? Every one it's different. With my first baby, I leak, and had low supply, due my fears and I supplemented with formula. The second round, I didn't leak at all, never, and I had a very good supply and feeding my two children.What I can say, that leak doesn't proof anything.

7. Other moms talk about nursing in carriers, I can't even imagine, that we'll ever get there. I have to be in a certain position: cradle hold for left breast, football hold for right side. Anything else just results in frustration on both sides. Will I be able to move around more? I nursed in carrier, but this require some practices. I never even try to do it until I had a good and established nursing relationship, until I was relaxed and confident.


Best!!.....

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by belltree

Hi,

our little one is now 6 days old. We had some latch problems in the beginning and didn't get breastfeeding established before he was 30hrs old. We saw a lactation consultant and she got us on the way, but I am still having several problems or worries:

1. it still hurts for 2-3min into each feeding, sometimes I have to yelp because of the pain. I was told, this is normal and will get better?

2. We are feeding on demand every 1-3hrs, 20-30min each. But in 80% he only takes one side. Should I stop him earlier on one side and then switch him over? Should I pump the other side each time?

3. It still takes us 2-5min to establish the latch and we both get frustrated. He jerks his little head back and forth, arches backwards, twists his head over his shoulder, or just does not keep the latch but spits it out again.

4. My nipples are getting soar, with little blisters. Is this normal and I just have to sit it out?

5. I got a breastpump prescribed to help along and get more flow in the beginning, I do get ~1oz per breast if I pump for 1-15min, which I save for later. Is this enough?

6. I was told, that I would start leaking by day 3-5. I never did. My milk never just shoots out, he has to suck hard and a lot to get the milk, so does the pump. Will I ever leak, will my milk ever just come flowing easily?

7. Other moms talk about nursing in carriers, I can't even imagine, that we'll ever get there. I have to be in a certain position: cradle hold for left breast, football hold for right side. Anything else just results in frustration on both sides. Will I be able to move around more?

I'd be so glad if someone could comfort me a bit.

Thanks,
belltree

1. Lots of women have pain after latching in the first six weeks or so. You'll hear people say if you're doing it right it shouldn't hurt, but clearly that comes from people who've never been through that kind of hurt. Is baby pooping and wetting a lot? Do you have the opportunity to have baby weighed in the next week or two? Because sometimes pain indicates a poor latch, and a good way to determine that is to see that baby is transferring enough milk.

2. Just let him lead you. Let him have one side until he is clearly finished, and then offer the other. If he refuses it, then just use that side first the next time.

3. Yeah, that's frustrating isn't it? It takes time for them to learn how to latch effectively and efficiently, and they get darned frustrated sometimes. You can help with the process by avoiding all artificial nipples-- bottles and pacifiers-- until he gets good and proficient at it.

4. If you're getting blisters or open sores, you may need to have the latch evaluated again, perhaps by a different LC or a La Leche League leader or just a knowledgeable doctor if you can find one. Keep your breasts well-aired and dry, too.

5. I wouldn't bother with the pump unless you have a specific reason to want to store milk. The baby is more efficient than the pump anyway. It can help to pump just until the milk lets down, if baby is getting frustrated about a slow letdown, but in that case, you get off the pump right as the milk starts to flow so baby can have it. Pumping too much in the early weeks can keep your body from effectively regulating your supply, and you wind up with too much milk.

6. I never got engorged with DD1, but had plenty of milk. I never leaked with any of my kids. No worries. The best way to know if baby is getting enough is to look at output (the contents of diapers) and weight gain.

7. It comes. In a month or two baby will start to develop some control of his own head, and latching and positioning become so much easier because baby can actually help to support himself and keep his head positioned. It only gets easier and easier the more baby develops, until you reach a time where literally all you need to do is hold still, and baby does the rest. Keep trying though-- being able to nurse in a carrier is such a blessing if you can make it work.

[Heba]

I won't repeat what everyone else has said (all good advice), but just wanted to suggest Biological Nurturing / Baby-led attachment positioning, which you might like to try (mum laid-back, baby on top). It can help baby follow their instinct to get a more efficient latch, and many mums find that it is indeed a more laid-back approach to nursing.

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/Pages/howtodoit.html
www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/bla.html

Good luck and hang in there! You CAN do it and it WILL get easier.

Love
Heba

[PatioGardener]

Great advice in the posts above. I just wanted to stop by to say that you can do this. It will get easier, and it is normal for Mom and baby to have to learn how they breastfeed.

You're doing great, Mama.

[boobs4milk]

Originally Posted by Heba

I won't repeat what everyone else has said, but just wanted to suggest Biological Nurturing / Baby-led attachment positioning, which you might like to try (mum laid-back, baby on top). It can help baby follow their instinct to get a more efficient latch, and many mums find that it is indeed a more laid-back approach to nursing.

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/Pages/howtodoit.html
www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/bla.html

Good luck and hang in there! You CAN do it and it WILL get easier.

Love
Heba

i just watched a video about this and referenced it in another post! ty for posting this link.

to the op: it takes time and it's hard to not question everthing. this is baby # 5 for me and i'm having issues so it's not any failing in you to have questions and/or issues!

i would suggest the above site and latching techniques, lots of nipple cream, no artificial nipples, some relaxing music, and some hugs!

oh, and i can't nurse in the carrier right now either. i didn't nurse dd3 in the carrier until she was about 5 mos so no worries there either.

[Latte Mama]

Regarding pain: Yes, for some women, pain can be normal even with a good latch. I didn't know this at first and thought I must be doing it wrong. Why? Because almost everywhere I looked for info said nursing correctly shouldn't be painful .

Finally, the IBCLC I hired told me that yes, it was normal and could take a week or 2 for my nipples to get used to it. We're all different and some of us have sensitive skin. Even in non lactating state I have sensitive nips.

OP hang in there, it does get better, REALLY !

[belltree]

Sorry for the late reply. We were in and out of the pediatrician and my midwife dealing with newborn jaundice and me starting to bleed again. pregnancy and labor were so much easier.

Your words and comments are really appreciated, and they make me feel less like a failure.

The more I have been talking to people, the more I realize that a lot of woman had problems breastfeeding and with sore nipples. Did I mention, that my left one has a big crack by now? All the books say, if it hurts, your latch is wrong. Honestly, I cannot find anything wrong with my latch, I watched videos online or read books and websites. Our doula will come by tonight with tips, she is also a lactation consultant.

And just for me as a reminder, thank you all for your encouragement. DH is great, but he works throughout the day. My mom is kind of clueless and thinks I am nuts with wanting to feed him on demand instead of scheduled every four hours (all of her kids turned out alright). My little one would just cry if I'd do that, plus my breasts would hurt, plus we are fighting his jaundice...

Regarding the pump - I was given the pump, as my milkflow was slow, we had latch problems and to help with the engorgement.

Also, good to know, that not everyone leaks. In the hospital it all sounded like, that those are things everyone should go though.

And some good news at least. We are gaining weight. We are slightly above birthweight at 8days postpartum!

OP hang in there, it does get better, REALLY !

Originally Posted by Clearwater

It sounds like you are really giving a lot of good effort (and pain). Keep up the good work!

Originally Posted by Conifer

But when your baby is bigger, you will be amazed that you ever had issues...at least that's what happens yo me!!!

Good luck

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy

2. It is normal for some babies and mamas to only nurse one side at a time, esp as a newborn. It is more important that your LO fully empties one breast of hindmilk than it is to offer the second breast. Unless you feel uncomfortable, there is no reason to pump the other side. Just start with it next time.

I think I will just do that and start to worry less. I just need to find a way to relax into it and try to bear the pain and the not sleeping part. It seems all other people babies got 4-5hrs stretches of sleep from the beginning. Mine doesn't. Plus, sometimes at night, with me being sleepy, it takes 30min until he feeds, before that he just spits the nippel out again to pushes my boobs out with his hands, only to start eagerly searching for my breasts again once he has delatched.

If it is uncomfortable while your LO is sucking so hard to get letdown you can do a few things to help. Make sure you are resting in a super relaxing position, maybe even laying down (although I couldn't nurse this way until around 6 weeks). Have DH give you a backrub if it helps. Sip some water or Mother's Milk tea. Listen to relaxing music. Whatever helps you stay calm and relaxed and signal to your body that it is time to nurse.

I like that idea, many of you have provided wonderful tips and I am inspired to try harder.

Originally Posted by boobs4milk

i just watched a video about this and referenced it in another post! ty for posting this link.

We have tried this, it is really cute , but he cannot latch yet in that position, although he manages to pull himself all across my chest onto the nippel.

to the op: it takes time and it's hard to not question everthing. this is baby # 5 for me and i'm having issues so it's not any failing in you to have questions and/or issues!

[Heba]

OK, the crack is a warning sign to me that latch is in fact not as it should be You are doing brilliantly for keeping going despite the pain, and great that you are seeing an LC - she should be able to observe a feed from a different viewpoint, and check your baby's mouth to check structure (tongue and palate). Tongue tie may be a possibility if positioning seems good to you - particularly if he is taking time to latch on effectively at the beginning of a feed.

Good luck, and please let us know how you get on with the LC!

Love
Heba