Hey guys - been 'out of the saddle' for a few months, and accidentally landed right back into it.
On a whim (and a couple of glasses of wine, if I remember correctly), I made a profile on a free dating website. Eharmony (which I only used on free communication weekend, and would be really ticked if I paid for) has been dead end after dead end, and I decided to go with free. Even though my profile is EXTREMELY detailed and specific about what I am looking for, I've gotten 99% duds, which isn't surprising. (For instance, I'm a big stickler about people being able to spell most/all of the words they are typing correctly. This isn't that hard to do, and it can be run through MS Word spell check before sending, right? I had a guy who is apparently an RN, studying to be a nurse practitioner, but he couldn't spell practitioner correctly. And that was going to be his profession. SIGH.)
I digress...so I get this random note a few weeks ago, and it turned into a daily back and forth message between me and the guy. He's up front about the fact that he works a LOT, but that if he found the right girl, he'd be willing to work on the balance. (We're talking, works a full 8 hours, plus travel time, which is sometimes 2 hours each way, and then gets home and sends out emails until 11pm. He's a medical something-or-other salesman. Not pharmaceuticals, I think it's medical "stuff".) I don't know how you go from working more than 12 hours a day, to being able to balance that with a significant other.
The first contact via the website was a few days before Halloween. Our messages got too long and were getting cut off by the website, so we've since moved to email. The messages going back and forth are longish...if you printed them out, I'd say it'd be about one page - single spaced - a day. He mentioned a couple of weeks ago that "maybe we could get together for coffee one day" to trade crazy ex stories, and I kept hinting to being okay with that, and finally, last week, I just out and said, "When are we getting together for coffee?"
First, he says he wants to talk on the phone before we meet up, to make sure I'm not a serial killer. (Which, after almost three weeks of emailing, you'd think he would have figured that out by now, but the last semi-prospect wanted to go on a date before we had talked about anything at ALL, so I'll give this one credit for doing his homework.) He's also got a bunch of work projects due before Thanksgiving, fine, I understand that. He already had plans for this Saturday to watch football (even though the game didn't start until 7:00, so he had ALL day...) Next week is Thanksgiving, and I'm going out of town and so is he, so it's either going to happen this coming weekend, or sometime in December. Which is annoying, but what can you do? However, if I was his girlfriend, I wouldn't put up with not seeing him for an entire month, you know?
I gave him my phone number in my last email, which was on Thursday. Nothing since then. Which I can't really say is unusual, because the same thing happened last weekend, I think he's not really an email/internet-y person, so it's likely he hasn't even checked his email. (Which I know can't just be annoying to me...am I the only one who checks email constantly looking for a response?) and I figured once we MET, or at least talked on the phone, I wouldn't have to go three days without any contact. (I'm also very specific in my profile that I'm slightly high-maintenance in the attention department, and think that if you are in a relationship with someone, you at least make some sort of contact with them once a day. And for a daily back and forth to just all of a sudden stop...it's annoying, because the emails make him sound like he's into me, but if he was THAT into me, wouldn't he want to jump on sending something back? I just went back into our string of emails, and what I said to him directly - in relation to a different topic - was "There is a difference between not wanting to be an afterthought, and being needy, and I make no apologies for wanting attention.")
But now I'm annoyed, and when he sends me something at this point, I'm ready to just tell him that he shouldn't go around contacting people on dating websites if he has no intention of actually dating them. He's made several comments about not ever 'meeting' someone like me, etc., so I don't think he's just stringing me along. I don't want to be someone's pen pal, and I really do think that we 'click', so I don't want to run him off, but don't like lack of communication.
He is otherwise - on paper - pretty much everything I'd be looking for. I think it would be strange to just come out and say, "Hey, haven't even met you yet, but you have got to keep me happy in the communication department or this isn't going to work." So, I'm in limbo there. Am I being needy?
In related news - my friends tried to set me up with a guy, who they told me was "quirky, like you, but not the same quirkiness as you," which I'm not sure was a compliment. Said he's very nice, an engineer, so he makes a lot of money. (Not a necessity, but nice to have.) They invited him to a monthly dinner party that we have at their house (he's never been invited to it before), and he's really just not my cup of tea. Slightly lacking in the social skills department. I can't picture myself wanting to cuddle up with him on a couch or anything. Nice guy though. Problem is, I have to figure out a way to break it to the friends that I have no interest.
Other than those two, I've got a whole lot of nothing.