Hi Ladies ~
Sorry I have been MIA I have really be slammed because school is kicking my behind lately and finances and also stressing me a little. So in short I have been a bit stressed mixed with moments of sadness/despair in some areas in my life. That said I want to share some wisdom about men that I came across this month.
It is from a relationship book for women written very direct and straight forward. This is my take away that I think all of you should know.
From Chapter 1: Men are simple.
They are driven by three things 1) who they are 2) what they do and 3) how much they make. Until he's achieved his goal in these three areas or is firmly on the path of accomplishing these three areas the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you.
From Chapter 2: Men love differently than women. Men show love by professing
to others that you are his lady (this includes his mama, friends, etc. if he is into you, he will want you to have a title so he knows you are "his"). He also will provide
for his lady --- he may not have the financial items in place too do it all but if he does not have it in cold hard cash he will give right from his pantry to ensure a woman he loves does not go hungry.... on this note I will quote the author "Know this: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time."
Lastly he shows love by protecting you from any harm he can. It is in his DNA to want to fix the problems of those he care for.
From Chapter 9: Men respect standards - Get some! He states that IF a women has clear standards from the outset the man can determine IF he is willing to try and meet those standards but it also gives the new guy and you the opportunity to smoke out the men who are looking for playthings and the men who are seeking a keeper. (There is a whole chapter earlier in the book on how to spot a man looking for a plaything vs. a keeper)
From Chapter 10: Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets In Too Deep
1) What are your short-term goals?
2) What are your long-term goals?
3) What are your views on relationships?
4) What do you think about me?
5) How do you feel
From Chapter 11: The Ninety-Day Rule
You can not get benefits from a job until after 90 days this gives employers a chance to be sure you are committed to the job and while they do pay you they do not give you benefits until after 90 days. As women why give away your benefits date two or three far easier than it is for many people to earn work benefits. You physically is a benefit that you have every right to withhold in the beginning to see if a man is right for you and 90 days is indeed reasonable. Before then he doesn't really know you, he hasn't proven himself and he could walk off from the job at any time..... 90 days will give you more time to know him a smoke out "some" of the issues most namely if he is looking for a plaything or something more. You have all the power in this moment, hold on to it! You can still give the man payment - hugs, kisses, your time, you getting dressed up, exchanging explicit emails all payments "but if he wants to sleep with you - make babies and have a family, those are benefits!" and he can wait 90-days for benefits
**** Needless to say I am slow to sleep with a man but I have not consciously made a man wait or even thought of the 90 days until reading this chapter and honestly while I think "dating rules" are silly the employee benefit example makes perfect sense to me! ****
Okay there is more but really I do like the book it's by Steve Harvey and is called Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man!