Originally Posted by Holland73
And, see... I would be the opposite.
I would wonder why somebody I JUST met and who I hardly know (albeit am interested and excited to get to know them better)... is sitting around waiting for me to ask them out and is quick to get serious with me, without even truly knowing me.
That would be too much pressure way TOO early. Plus, he/she doesn't even know me. How can they be so sure they want to get serious with me?
Yeah I see your point, as well as your first point, and I see sugarmoon's point too. I think what sugarmoon is trying to say is not that I should sign on the dotted line to 'going steady' after one date at all, or even discuss it yet at this point with him (exclusivity, that is). But that if somehow he found out that I was out on the town with a guy young enough to be his son, two days after our date, he might get weird feelings about the whole thing. Wonder if he's really in the right demographic to be dating me, wonder about whether I'm as interested in getting to know him better as he is in knowing me better. Or mostly just if I had the same spark and excitement from date #1 as he did because I get the strong feeling that after our 8+ hours together (yes we are both night owls and kept talking all night, pretty much) he is pretty blown away by me and isn't going to be pursuing other women between now and when we see each other again. He works a lot and is a single dad, after all, not a bachelor with nothing to do but party every week. Our schedule is at odds this week, however, and it might not be until sunday or monday until we see each other again (an entire week off! eek, I don't like to let things cool off for so many days in between dates if things are going well. 3-5 days is better).
I guess what I'll do is make sure to be clear on my interest to him. I just got an SMS right this minute from him saying that he rearranged his schedule to be free on Sunday evening for me, and I told him that it was great but in the meantime, in two night's time (when he's free) I'll just be out with girlfriends (I'm throwing a clothes swap party at my place and we'll go out dancing after) and if he wanted to show up there to fend off the drunk men from my personal space and see that I get home safely, that would be a nice surprise. So maybe he'll do that and I'll get to see him again before 6 days post date #1.
Can I just say that the advantage to dating a man born in the 60s vs. a man born in the 80s is the serious difference in gentleman-ly-ness? Alright you texas girls are gonna be all into this but he went to a military academy for undergraduate school and he always needs to walk on the left side of me, and he always opens the door for me and then also pulls out the seat belt and offers it to me, pulls out the chair, stands up when I stand up from the table, and these things come so naturally to him. He also has an engineering degree and a business degree. He's so into kids, only dates single mothers because they are more mature and understand where he's coming from on the parenting front. He was with his kids' mom for 18 years and admitted that once when she had a new baby and a blocked duct and the pump wasn't working to get anything out of her breast and the baby wasn't into an 'empty' boob, he siphened it with his own mouth to get things moving again. Admitted he didn't actually swallow the milk, spit it out, but still, he said he never once had any problems with being hands-on into the more biological side of his wife's body, without it giving him any hang-ups in their sex life or anything. I discussed adventures in tandem nursing with him (not the book, my actual, personal adventures) and he loved listening.
To be fair to young guy from last friday/tomorrow, he behaved very sweetly too. And he's just as tall and handsome and kind as older guy. I really gotta give these guys better nicknames than younger guy and older guy.
I'll go out with the Swimming Swede (young guy) tomorrow, and really, the chance of running into Chivalrous Hunter (he loves to hunt small game... I can't stand the idea of someone who keeps a gun in his house and he does NOT ....but he is a military man, Sagesgirl, so send your swoon vibes to me so I can try to muster up some enthusiasm about that) is miniscule anyways. and no one he knows knows who I am yet, so.... the grapevine surely won't work against me tomorrow. and then later in the week/next week I'll see Chivalrous Hunter again and see if the spark happens again.DaughterofKali
if weight is your issue, you don't need to join a gym to start seeing it melt off ---looking at what you eat is by far the main thing in terms of excess pounds and their stickiness. However, there are men out there (and women) who love larger women so perhaps it's only a problem in your mind and just stand tall and love yourself and you'll have no issue attracting people.