Do you force toddlers to nurse?

[Chloe'sMama]

DD is approaching 17 months and some days she just doesn't ask to nurse... at all. The other day we went 8 hours between nursing sessions since we were out for her nap. I don't get engorged anymore, so I don't mind it, but don't know if she should be nursing more. Most days she just nurses upon waking (7:30ish), for her nap (11:30ish) and down to bed(7:30ish) (sometimes 1 nursing between nap and bed). Then she does nurse on average 2-3 times at night, although she has slept through the night 3 nights in a row and nurses at 5ish and then upon walking for the day.

She does nurse quite a bit some days (she was sick all last week and she did not eat anything for 3 or 4 days, but nursed maybe every 2-3 hours all day.)

Anyways, is it a problem, or should I just let her lead the way.

Also, she is a healthy girl, 33 inches and 24 lbs, and likes to eat quite a bit.

[Llyra]

Are you asking should you OFFER to nurse? At that age, yeah, if the child didn't ask to nurse, I'd offer, several times in the day at least. But no, of course I wouldn't FORCE a child to nurse-- I'd offer, and if the child clearly turned me down, I'd drop the issue, and then offer again later. I do think that at that age they still need to nurse. I also think that they get busy and distracted and forget to ask.

But it sounds like she's nursing quite often, actually-- at least three times during waking hours, right, and sometimes more? That sounds fine to me. But there's no harm in offering more often-- the worst that could happen is she's not interested.

Don't offer, don't refuse is a weaning technique. I would only stop offering to nurse, and only nurse when the child takes the initiative, if I was working on weaning. But I do think that it sounds like your DD is nursing plenty.

[baby duck]

I'd let her be. My 17 month old nurses on about the same schedule as your daughter. Once in the morning upon waking and then for nap and nightime. He really doesn't wake me up during the night anymore; hasn't for the last month. I do put him down at about 8:30 and sometimes he will want to nurse when I come to bed around midnight, but not always. He is a big eater, too; and weighs about 25 or 26 pounds. Haven't checked his height in a while, but I think he's very average for his age.

[boheime]

I don't think it's possible to *force* a child to nurse. At that age, if my child hadn't asked to nurse in a while, I would offer.

[nelson]

DS, 17months, nurses way more than that, but if he didn't I think I would remind him if he was acting fussy. Otherwise, I would just let it be, especially if engorgement isn't an issue.

[paxye]

You can't force a child to nurse... but you can offer and should if you want don't want her to wean to early... (Don't offer, don't refuse is a parent-led weaning technique) often toddlers are busy and forget to ask but still need it often so offering is important...

[Chloe'sMama]

Sorry, I didn't mean force. I think I meant if I should change the environment to a more nursing friendly one in order to encourage nursing. DD loves nursing on the bed, so maybe I would take her in there instead of letting her continue to play outside.

Thanks for the hints. I am not ready for her to wean...

[alegna]

Agreed that you can't force nursing. I *would* and do encourage nursing the same way I encourage other things I think a toddler needs (sleep, water, food, etc)

-Angela

[etsdtm99]

my almost 18 mo old nurses on the same schedule most days.. though if he doesn't nurse for his nap he usually asks after nap .. if we're home. if he is fussy, i offer - but lots of times he would much rather play outside. and occasionally he wants a cup of water or a snack instead.. so if he turns down nursing, i offer the water or a snack.

my DD nursed on that schedule when she was 17 months too (actually, i kind of encouraged that schedule (by way of don't offer/don't refuse) starting at 15 months because i was ttc) i got pg when she was 17 months and then night weaned around 18/19 months and she continued to nurse for nap/bedtime (until she dropped her nap) until 37 months. so, for her - this schedule did not mean she would wean soon.

i would just let her do her thing, and offer when you think its a good idea

[spirit4ever]

Originally Posted by boheime

I don't think it's possible to *force* a child to nurse. At that age, if my child hadn't asked to nurse in a while, I would offer.

Exactly what i was going to say!