I want to hit my 2 year old

[Paigekitten]

I want to slap my two year old right now. Her dad is taking her and the baby on a walk in the stroller right now, but he is almost as desperate as I am. She WILL NOT FALL ASLEEP. She will not fall asleep until after 1 am. We are exhausted. She screams and hits us. Her baby sister cannot sleep. She's exhausted and all she does is scream bloody murder and hit and kick and it HURTS. I own all of the no cry sleep solution books. We do them and it does not work.

I do not know what to do tonight. I cannot cannot mother her right now. DH has to get up at 4 am for work.

[Drummer's Wife]

I'm so sorry that sounds really rough.

Will she fall asleep if you take her on a car ride?

I hope you all are able to get some rest.

[Funny Face]

I'm so sorry.

Have you had her checked for physical problems that could be causing it? That's all I could think of. I know it's awful but I'd be tempted to give her a tiny bit of Benadryl to see if it could ease her mood and help her fall asleep.


Lots of s.

[NiteNicole]

I'm so sorry. I've been there with only one, so I can't imagine having one non-sleeper and a baby to parent as well. So hugs for you.

My sanity saving book was Sleepless in America. I wish I had read it first. It really helped me finally get it. Some kids can go with the flow and get enough sleep, and some kids need their whole day set up to get them ready to sleep.

I know that doesn't help you right now, but if you can find it in you to read one more, try that one.

Big hugs and much sympathy for you.

[mamakaikai]

If you were having a hard time falling asleep and somebody started hitting you, would you be more likely to fall asleep?

I am sorry that you are having a hard time. I don't know what the best answer is, but if you are going to be awake anyways, why not try something more loving than hitting. Say, curl up and watch a movie, or read books. Dim the lights and stay calm. Might be worth a try if nothing else works. And then maybe half the people in your house could get to sleep?!

On nights like these, this has helped. http://pbskids.org/sesame/#/games
We play the game and cuddle and she knows that when we are done, it is bedtime.

Best of luck to you.

[Paigekitten]

I can't sit and cuddle. When she gets tired she gets wired and starts hitting and kicking.

[Violet2]

At 2 I would think there would be a reason for the behavior. There has to be something driving it. The sibling maybe?

Is she teething? I would try some Motrin.

Also some drastic changes in how you sleep. Maybe she needs her own bed in her own room.

And I would let her fuss if I had to at this point.

At least tag team her so somebody gets some sleep. And consider talking to the ped. This sounds extremely difficult to me.

Good luck

V

[pacificbliss]

Oh mama, I am so sorry.
Could it be something physical like ear infections? DS used to get them. He wouldn't complain about his ears, rub them, or run a fever but he could not lie down and go to sleep. When he gets overly tired he does the same thing it sounds like your DD does...he kicks and hits and when we try to talk to him he just runs away and laughs at us. It can be infuriating. Add fatigue to that and I can only imagine what you're going through.

[Paigekitten]

They got back from the walk and apparently she is really really hungry. I feel like a horrible mother. My DH is so much more patient.

[ellairiesmom]

We just spent an hour in similar shoes...I don't have much advice...& am starting to think about DD#2 due in Feb & how hard that must be. I can only share my woes...it started a couple weeks ago for us. A lot has been happening in the past 2 mos...besides turning 2, we moved her from our bed to her own bed in her own room. I am now 26 weeks & I think my milk is officially done, plus it hurts soooo bad to nurse I can't really handle it for more than a few minutes.

A few times this past week, we skipped her nap-and although she had a few meltdowns after dinner, she went to bed easier & for the 1st time in 2 years, slept through the night (10:30pm till 9am). We went to our Bradley class today & my Mom was watching her-she loves to fall asleep on Grammy's chest. She had a great nap & was in a great mood all night-except bedtime was rough of course.

I am so sorry Mama & am sending kind sleep vibes to your home...

[pacificbliss]

I hope she falls asleep after a bite to eat. You're not a horrible mother...just tired.
I'm glad you used your hands for typing and not hitting.

sweet dreams

[Jenne]

How about some Sleepy Tea Time with her snack? You might try mixing up some lavendar oil and water in a spray bottle and dousing her pajamas and room with the yummy, relaxing smell.

Best of luck! Sleep problems are horrible...

Jenne

[DanAbimytwomiracle]

I have SOOO been there. Many, many times. It is very frustrating. My sleep deprivation from trying desperately to AP twins caused severe PPD. I had those same thoughts about hitting or hurting my daughter as she was the one who ahd the most trouble sleeping at the time I had the PPD. It was a horrible cycle of try, get frustrated, try again, more frustration, finally fall sleep, feel horrible and guilty. Sleep is an absolute necessity for sanity, there is NO doubt about it. you are human and there is only so much you can do.

I'd first make sure she's fed, and try a few things for the future, forgive me if you've tried some already and they haven't worked.

**Earlier bedtime. Waiting until she's looking tired might be too late for her. She is old enough now to tell her the bedtime routine and maybe even do a chart for her with pictures of how it'll go, and a picture of what the clock looks like.

**Cut out all sugar, corn syrup, artificial colors and flavors, and preservatives.

**When she starts hitting, do 1 of 2 things - whichever you try, do it consistently for a week before switching to make sure you gave it a good try - 1. Bear hug her tight (but not squishing her obviously). Sit in a darker room with calm music and don't talk or say anything. If she likes rocking, rock. When she gets tired of fighting, start talking softly a little about how you love her, it's OK, etc. As she relaxes loosen your hold and if she likes to be touched, stroke her hair.
OR 2. Put her in a corner/side of the room you are in and ignore her (a safe spot, not facing the wall or anything). Do not make eye contact or talk to her or about her. Don't leave her alone, if she comes to you put her back in the corner/side. Tell her during quieter moments (when she's taking a breath) that you'll talk to her when she's done screaming and hitting.

The above is TOUGH for a few nights, but one of the two should work. We went through this with my oldest DS when he was 2 and it was HARD. But if you are consistent, one of those methods should work. I prefer the bear hug as it maintains contact, but some kids just don't do well with bear hugs. My son did not. I did not want him to "cry it out" or think he was being abandoned, though, so I/we stayed in the room. Once I got DH on board with me (after 2 days), it worked within a couple of days.

[Nimbus]

Since you reached out to others to vent, I'm guessing you're not a horrible mommy. It sounds like you are just stressed and sleep deprived. Lots of good suggestions have already been made. Did anyone mention food allergies? I know they can cause a host of behavior issues. Something to investigate, maybe.

Best of luck to you. I know it can make you feel like you're losing it when you're not getting enough sleep and nothing you do for your child seems to help. Hugs to you.

[Paigekitten]

Thanks for all the support, I am in a better place right now. Maybe we do need to revisit food allergies. She has been sensitive to dairy in the past, but we have gotten lax. She started having night time and daytime accidents after complete potty independence so that sounds like a food thing.

[Treasuremapper]

I would check into an undiagnosed ear infection, too. Our dd had one of those when she was about one year old -- and I almost went nuts trying to get her to sleep. The next morning, I realized she might be in pain and took her to the doctor, and sure enough, big ear infection.

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by Paigekitten

Thanks for all the support, I am in a better place right now. Maybe we do need to revisit food allergies. She has been sensitive to dairy in the past, but we have gotten lax. She started having night time and daytime accidents after complete potty independence so that sounds like a food thing.

it very much does sounds like this is being cause by something like this mama... children sometimes dont have a way of communicating with us that there is something wrong other than doing what seems like "acting up". My child has food issues and this sounds a lot like what she turns into if we are lax... we have found it worth it to NOT be lax obviously.. LOL.

[MommyDaddynMe]

Hi,
I've had similar problems and had to have the husband sleep on the coach while I locked very sleepy and unreliable self in the room with my son. I'd put the flash light on and let him look at books. This happened 3 times until I figured a trend- not enough outside play. On those days he didn't exert himself and was too full of energy to just lay there. I too was agitated and on the brink.
I felt really horrible for thinking about him as a nuisance during those times especially when its not his fault but at least I didn't hit and tried my best to be nurturing, sometimes thats all we can do- were not perfect.


If i notice that hes too energetic like an hour before bed, I make him a warm tea, and take him for a walk. If he cries when we get home, we put a slow paced movie on and nurse then we hit the sack. My husband and I will talk in calm voices until he falls asleep.That usually works. If all else fail, we car ride, and keep our fingers crossed.

I think we've all been there, at least once. Hang in there.

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by MommyDaddynMe

I think we've all been there, at least once. Hang in there.

at least once?

I think sometimes I am there once a week...

I think you did hit another important point there, outside play. My kids are completely different when they dont go outside. They dont want to sleep, nap, or even eat properly sometimes. There have been a few articles written about how the sun and getting some rays helps the body sort of "Reset" itself and how necessary it is especially for children.

[arilynnsmom]

Sleeping and hitting problems, have you tried this?

As far as sleep goes, If you want to go the route of benadryl, etc... then I would try a cup of chamomile tea or a Hylands teething tablet or two (even if she is not teething) first. Benadryl might have the opposite effect of calming, and it has all those artificial colors and stuff. Also since you are still nursing, you might try to cut out things out of your diet that she might have sensitivities to, like dairy.

As far as hitting, we are going through that right now. What we are trying now is instead of saying "No Hitting" (or kicking or throwing, etc...) we say thing like "Be Gentle" or "Love on your mommy" if she is hitting me. Our logic is the first thing you think about if I say "Don't think of an apple" is probably a big red shiny apple. So we are hoping by not repeating the bad behavior with words, we are making her think of something else. We are not sure if this technique is going to work for us, but we are giving it a try.

I hope it helps, but hang in there, I have bad days too, when all I want to do is hide in the bathroom for a few hours, or at least say breastfeeding is off limits(my toddler nurses at least five times a day and wakes up twice a night, and I also have a 5 month old who, of course, nurses a lot as well.) I think all mothers have bad days It doesn't mean we love our children any less, or that are failures as good mothers. We all just need some more sleep!