I'm lost...

[sarebare43]

My beautiful daughter is 15 months soon to be 16. Recently she has started hitting and when we lay her down to change her she tries to kick us. My husband and I swore that we would only use "no" for really serious issues. We both feel that this is one of them, but she doesn't understand the seriousness, no matter how stern we are with her. We've also tried ignoring the behavior, but it's hard not to be shocked when your loved one pelts you across the face. I don't know what to do............I feel that she is too young for discipline and wouldn't understand, but i feel that I need to deter this behavior before she starts hitting other people, especially children.

[blizzard_babe]

DS started doing the same stuff around the same age. What we've done (and others who have more experience with this can totally overrule me ) is take his desire to do whatever "bad" thing it is we're trying to avoid, and give him something to do with the same body part. When he hits, for example, I say, "Please don't hit, you can pet mama's arm, though!" and then take his hand and help him stroke my arm. For biting, we encourage kissing (he now kisses EVERYTHING... today he kissed the car tire, ewwwwww). It took quite a while, but he rarely hits or bites at this point. Maybe it was the suggested alternatives, maybe he just got bored with it. A lot of DS's hitting and biting wasn't really aggression... he was just playing around and had no clue that his actions were, you know, painful.

As for the times when it *could* be labeled as aggressive, I also think the lashing out at this age has a lot to do with their understanding of, but relative inability to produce, language. Like, they know there's a whole host of things they could be saying ("No! You daft fool! I do not WISH to have my diaper changed! I prefer to remain upright and running free!"), but the words just aren't at their disposal, so they use their relatively advanced physical abilities to make up the difference.

[sarebare43]

Thank you so much, those are wonderful ideas!!

[smeisnotapirate]

Mine is just a bit older, and we're still dealing with it. I agree that your DC probably still doesn't know what "no" means - it's kinda a random term for a baby, because it doesn't TELL them anything and they need to know what they SHOULD do instead. I agree with blizzard_babe that offering alternatives are a good thing. Lots of hitting becomes "high five!"

I'll let you know when I find something that works for the changing table. I'm still at a loss with that one.

Oh, and also - it's totally 100% developmentally normal. Just taking a breath and saying "it's a phase" when I've been whacked in the face and I'm crawling around looking for my glasses on the floor for the hundredth time sometimes helps.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

Oh, and also - it's totally 100% developmentally normal. Just taking a breath and saying "it's a phase" when I've been whacked in the face and I'm crawling around looking for my glasses on the floor for the hundredth time sometimes helps.

Oooh, the glasses-snatching TOTALLY sets me off. I think it's because I'm pretty darn close to blind as a bat without them, but when DS snatches my glasses, I get really disproportionately cranky!

[LadyCatherine185]

My DS has been doing this as well. Not just hitting us with his hand either, but with objects, like his toy hammer!!

What I've started doing, and it has actually somewhat WORKED!, is telling him "ow, that hurts Mama, you can hit the wall/couch/toy, etc" and show him how he can hit those other objects.

[Polliwog]

If you don't want him hitting walls as he gets older (with toys or anything else, for that matter) you might want to rethink that one.

Playdough and clay are great materials to redirect children toward.

[northwind]

My DD kicks on the changing table too, but I think it's because she's just so darn full of energy and doesn't know what to do with it!!

One thing that seems to be working recently is singing to her. For some reason she finds Old McDonald incredibly funny - the Ee I Ee I Oh part - and the minute I sing it to her, very silly and dramatically, she stops kicking me and watches with a big grin, waiting to giggle over Eeieeioh...

[Mama_2_Boy]

Not the most popular solution I know, but the only thing that worked for me was to give a very clear and somewhat loud "ouch!" anytime he would strike me. It did startle him, but at that age, I really don't think they have any concept of hitting and the recipients feelings about it.
The reason I had started doing this is because years ago I remembered seeing a documentary on baby animals and that litter mates let each other know how hard their 'playful' bit was by yelping.
Sorry please don't flame me as I'm in no way comparing children to small animals.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Mama_2_Boy

Not the most popular solution I know, but the only thing that worked for me was to give a very clear and somewhat loud "ouch!" anytime he would strike me. It did startle him, but at that age, I really don't think they have any concept of hitting and the recipients feelings about it.
The reason I had started doing this is because years ago I remembered seeing a documentary on baby animals and that litter mates let each other know how hard their 'playful' bit was by yelping.
Sorry please don't flame me as I'm in no way comparing children to small animals.

I actually agree - I think it's also a natural consequence, which I'm a firm believer in. I'm going to yelp if I get bitten, so no harm in expressing that to DS.

[Katie T]

This thread makes me feel like my 16m isnt so abnormal. Her favorite words/phrases are no, dont, stop it. She is a hittter O biter when she gets angry, just the other day she tried to bite me while buckeling her into her seat! I will be trying these recs!