doesn't like co-sleeping?

[zubeldia]

Hi folks, I hope you can offer some advice or even some empathy. I feel so sad this morning. DS is almost 4 months old and his sleep patterns change quite a bit. We do have the routine of putting him in his swing to sleep once he's nursed and fallen asleep (or almost asleep) on my lap. I either take him up with me when I go to bed, and he sleeps next to me, or my DH brings him up after Ive gone to bed so that I can have a couple of hours of alone sleep (read deeper sleep). Lately DS wakes up continually through the night, squirming, latching on to feed, unlatching, withering, moaning.. just not comfortable. He used to sleep soundly for a few hours and then fuss for a while until we got up around 3 or 4 for a feed downstairs. he wouldn't be put back to bed, though, and preferred to nap in his swing.

These last few nights he has not been comfortable in bed AT ALL. Someone gave us an Amby hammock and for the first time last night I put him in that when I was almost in sleep deprived tears in the wee hours... he slept for a couple of hours but wanted to get up for his early morning feed (even though we successfuly side lie nurse!). He's napping in his swing again.

Here's the issue.. I miss him I had dreams about the Amby collapsing (it's right by our bed!), and I fear that he's just not a baby who likes to cosleep. But in the day I have the other issue in that he will not nap ANYWHERE but on my lap.

Should i just go with the flow and put him in his Amby when I'd usually put him in our bed, and should I start to use the Amby for naps (I tried once and he was not wanting to stay there at all). I'm about to buy Sleepless in America and The No Cry Sleep Solution... but would so very much appreciate advice.

TIA
Alex

[tanyam926]

If his sleep pattern changed all of a sudden there might be something else going on like he's coming down w/an illness. The FIRST sign that my kids are getting sick is that they don't sleep well and they usually don't sleep well for almost a wk before they have any other symptoms.

Is he acting cranky or fussy during the day or night? Is anyone sick in the house?

If it's not illness, teething, or any other external thing, you might just have to adjust the way everyone sleeps. It is very normal for babies and children to go through stages where one thing works until it doesn't, then something else works, etc., etc..

He might also be trying to drop one of his naps during the day or need a nap moved farther away from bed time. There was always some transition when this occurred in our house.

I know the feeling of missing them if they are not by you though. My 4 yr old just moved to the rm w/older brother (for the first half of the night anyway) and I miss him sometimes too.

I would try whatever it took to get some sleep, just be flexible. If he has always been a good sleeper he will probably go back to that soon.

[larzanna]

My DS sleep patterns changed alot at 4 months too. He just started not sleeping as well, up every 2-3 hours, when before he was only up once a night. So it might just be a phase....
As far as naps, i worked HARD to get mine to sleep in the co-sleeper for naps because i just cannot hold a napping baby during the day, i have stuff to do.
Thats obviously up to you, but for me it was very important.

[Miss Chris]

We had an amby too that my daughter moved into at about that age. She slept well in it and loved it. She was always restless in our bed and now that she's 3 1/2 she can tell us in no uncertain terms that she wants to go into her own bed on the rare occasions that we bring her in with us. The good thing about this problem is that you don't have to commit to anything for life. Why don't you just try it and see how it goes. If the baby is restless than let him sleep in the Amby. If he likes it, okay. If he doesn't like it, take him back to your bed. No harm, no foul, right?

Chris

[Lucia's mama]

There is a book, which I am NOT recommending called "Healthy sleep habits, happy children" and if you can bypass all the sleep training stuff, there is some interesting information, the author is a sleep researcher, about how infants sleep cycles start to establish at 4 months. Which means that instead of them sleeping in this ever dreamy state, babies brains start to mature in establishing REM cycles etc etc.
This coincided with HUGE sleep changes for my DD, and in fact, the best sleep I got was when she was younger than 4 months. I also remember a short stint where she slept in a moses basket beside our bed, becuase she slept longer compared to when she slept beside us in bed. But that ended quickly after she became more mobile and now she's in bed with us all the time at 14 months old.

The upshot of the whole brain/sleep maturation process, is that there nap interevals start to regulate as well at 4 months, which meant I could better predict and thus, had a better sense of how to best support her rest needs throughout the day.

Good luck

[_betsy_]

There's a pretty classic, universal sleep regression around 4 months. And at that age, any routine/habit/pattern you see will likely change in a week or two.

That said, DD1 could NOT tolerate co-sleeping. She kicks and squirms and can't get comfortable, and has never been able to co-sleep, since Day 1. We all slept much better with her in a bassinet next to my side of the bed, and I'd get up and nurse her in the living room. Occasionally we'd both fall asleep out there for a couple hours. At 6 months, we moved her into a crib in her own room full time (we started with naps a month or so before nighttime) and I'd go nurse her when she made the slightest peep (I had a baby monitor).

Both of my kids had trouble sleeping when teething really starts, right around 4 months for both girls.

DD2 likes to co-sleep. She starts out in her crib, but I bring her into bed with me when she first wakes up. This works well for us, as I work nights and DH does the bedtime routine. He can't lay down with her since he has DD1 to care for and get to sleep as well.

DD1 is a sleep fighter, DD2 is much easier to get to sleep. Neither of them are good sleepers, or of the "sleeps through anything" or "sleeps anywhere" variety.

I say, go with your gut. If you think he'll sleep better in the Amby (and do realize sleeping in the swing is not ideal for spinal development, plus it's unsafe once he starts to roll over/get up on all fours in pre-crawling motion), try it. Can it be in your room?

[Kindofcrunchymummy]

I have no advice, but I can empathize! DS started doing the same thing right at 4 months, he went from sleeping 7 hours in a row, down to 45 minutes. He doesn't seem to like sleeping with us (he does the same things as your DS) but he won't sleep in his crib either. He just turned five months and I see no end in sight.

[alfabetsoup]

I'm not so much a co-sleeper as I am a whatever-gets-everyone-the-most-sleep-sleeper, so DD1 co-sleeps parttime and DD2 does not ever co-sleep. Do what works for your baby right now and give him lots of cuddles in the day. You know that you'll have him back in your bed in a second if he wants and there's no harm in letting him try different things.

Do you swaddle him? He might like the snuggly feeling of the Amby and might be easier to put down for naps if swaddled.

ETA: DD2 does not co-sleep because she feels that if we're all in bed together, it must be a party. The last time I brought her in with us she spent 3 (THREE) hours clapping, doing her elephant impression, mooing, meowing, trying to crawl over me while yelling "ZA-ZA!" to try to wake up DD1. DD1 slept through the whole thing, DH & I were zombies the next day.