Discipline resources for school-age children

[CheriK]

We are "new" parents for the second time (we have an 11 month old dd, as well as almost 8-year old twins) and have realized while parenting the baby that we've really slipped on parenting the older two - much less gentle in our discipline, more likely to use threats (if you don't clean up your room RIGHT NOW, you'll NEVER get to watch TV again FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - highly effective, I know), yelling, aiming for instant changes in behavior instead of long-term learning. It was so much easier when they were younger, wants and needs were more likely to be the same, and avoiding trigger situations was more in our control.

So we've been trying to do better w/ the big kids. But I've found that for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, the resources are much more available. Lots of books, lots of local support groups, lots of parenting classes. It feels somewhat lonely out here with "big" kids. We have books like "How to Talk" and "Siblings w/out Rivalry", have read books like "Unconditional Parenting" but really need more. I know that for DH especially, a parenting class would be much more effective than any 10 books, but I can't find any that are age-appropriate and are "gentle". What resources have others found?

[Surfacing]

: Dunno but am curious to hear what others have to say.

[mamaduck]

Anthony Wolf has several good books -- easy reads, and in my experience his writing style and logic tends to appeal to men.

"Kids, Parents, and Power Struggels" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

Haim Gingot's "Between Parent and Child."

My favorite parenting book is "Kids are Worth It" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

I could refer you to classes in my area -- but I don't know about yours! You could check with local counseling offices and see if any of them offer a parenting class or a group.

[intentionalmama]

"Hold on to your kids" by Gordon Neufeld. Great book about the importance of the relationship between parents and children. He also acknowledges the importance of this relationship with the teen years.
He has courses, seminars, that also may be of interest.
The following website
www.gordonneufeld.com/index.php

[intentionalmama]

For your husband; just wanted to mention that the Power to Parent video series that Gordon Neufeld has is suppose to be very good. I haven't seen it; but I know three families who have worked with it and found it very helpful in the way they relate to their children and it changed the way they were disciplining. The information is on the website from the last link I sent. Good-luck.