Articulating your decision to go medication free

[Friendlee]

I chose to have a medication free birth and I am really proud of myself! I came to this decision based on tons of information accumulated over a matter of years. I'm having trouble giving clear, succinct answers to the question, "Why on earth would you decide NOT to get pain medication when it's available?" It's also usually followed by, "I had an epidural and I never had any problems and my kid is fine! Nobody I know of ever had complications with medications during delivery."

I know I don't HAVE to justify it to people, but I really would like to. I'd love to have a powerful but short answer for why it is so important. Mostly because I have some friends that have asked over and over and my vague answers obviously don't make sense to them.

How do you all kindly explain your decision without sounding judgmental convincing people that it IS a valid choice that has benefits?

[abc123xyz]

Well, I had an epidural because of a homebirth transport and some complications and I regret it...but also had complications following. Most people who fall into the system of interventions don't realize that their babies really are being treated for epidural related things. Fever in mother and baby is number one! We had both and they wanted to do a spinal tap on my son at birth to make sure he wasn't septic and give him a full antibiotic flush for it as a preventative. They said this was due to our homebirth plans and because we didn't have an OB who could establish us as non-drug users and non-at-risk-parents!!!! We refused that and then it was the next thing...Being groggy at birth shows signs of major illnesses but they forget that babies get everything the mother gets so they are just as drugged as she is!!! We had this argument. I think epidurals are the reason babies lose precious bonding time with their mothers and women have trouble breastfeeding and milk production. Plus, have their days and nights mixed up. They fall asleep right after birth because of the drugs instead of being alert and in bonding mode! (But that's my general belief...not scientific or anything proven that I have read)

I had severe soreness at the site of the epidural injection for at least a year! My DH couldn't even rub along that area of my back softly. It would jolt pain and radiate in my spine. It was awful. Chiropractors will tell you that women are notorious later in life to have many spinal complications that they can only but very significantly trace back to epidurals!

Many women I know have had spinal headaches from epidurals that last weeks on end and they end up having to be re-admitted into the hospital for treatment seperating them from their newborns and disrupting their routines at home and in their lives.

I have read many articles that attribute the lack of hormonal release to alot of post birth complications. Again, many people don't feel they or their child suffered or is suffering but because they know nothing different. But research shows that without the natural adrenaline and natural release of hormones, things aren't being worked properly....you would have to research that as I could go on elaborate details for a long time!!!

Aside from all of the above, I really feel that we don't really know the effects because epidurals haven't been around long enough for there to be a life-long study on the possible effects. However, anytime I have to sign a release waver acknowledging I know the risks of something, I realize that there is a risk involved no matter how small.

I know this may not help with an easy argument for your choices, you don't have to defend your choices. People often say the "why wouldn't you take all the drugs you can get? I did/would." And my response is, "I trust in the Lord and my body to have this baby in exactly the way He sees fit. I want to feel my baby be birthed out of me and be empowered in that. And it's not a deal just because it's on sale or available."

Sorry this may be no help...I just couldn't not respond!

[Serenyd]

for me it = faster recovery time, enjoying not having that "doped up" feeling afterwards, being able to be present and bond with my newborn without being groggy, enjoying the natural "high" of giving birth without the interference of drugs, not risking having side effects like low blood pressure, needing pitocin/assisted delivery or long and short term side effects of epidural like spinal headache or chronic back pain (and I know people who have had all of these) or newborn respiratory depression from narcotics (have seen this also), and for me being able to deliver in the privacy and comfort of my own home is paramount

[Serenyd]

funny, because I remember asking someone why she went w/o an epi w/ her baby, and couldn't really give me a satisfactory answer, so I went on and had my baby w/ an epi, and I really wish she could have given me some straight answers about it now. Really though I just hate the whole hospital experience (w/ a purple passion) but I think I would have felt more empowered by the experience if I hadn't had an epidural, giving in to that forced me to give up all control over the situation, I couldn't move or feel, and I had an odd feeling of being disassociated from the whole experience while at the same time feeling violated and helpless ... then when the doc cut that huge episiotomy w/o asking me, and I didn't even know about it until afterwards because I was so numb, it was really the last straw. I really thought since it was my body I'd be given some choice in the matter, but no. It was like I was a big piece of meat lying there on the table without feeling, so everyone felt free to do whatever they wanted to me. It was horrible. So yeah, I think it's a good thing to be able to articulate why drug-free is better!

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by Friendlee

How do you all kindly explain your decision without sounding judgmental convincing people that it IS a valid choice that has benefits?

I don't. I don't feel it's anyone else's business. I don't have any interest in trying to convince.

I had drug free births because I didn't want to deal with possible complications from drugs. Above that, I had drug free births because I didn't want to numb myself to some of the most beautiful and powerful events in my life.

I don't expect others to get it.

Lastly, you should feel proud of yourself

[KringyBingy]

I want to avoid complications. I had two girlfriends that had complete incontinence after an epidural birth. Both were first babies, one had a vacuum to help get under pelvic bone and the other had forceps birth (I was at that birth!).

I often tell people it is the most empowering event of my life.

I had a woman at work that I told I was going to have a natural childbirth and she kept saying, "Good Luck with that." She was so condescending I was LIVID. I thought I will do this just to shove it in your face!! Well, after my beautiful birth, I realized I wasn't doing this for her or anyone else except my baby!!

If these are good friends of yours ask them to support you in your choice. Some women may not have had the birth that they wanted and don't know that there is a better way. When talking to others about my birth choice I sometimes state that women can have awesome births with a cesarean or an epidural, but I choose to be drug free.
Kristy
3 normal, natural deliveries

[MamatoPeach]

Originally Posted by Serenyd

funny, because I remember asking someone why she went w/o an epi w/ her baby, and couldn't really give me a satisfactory answer, so I went on and had my baby w/ an epi, and I really wish she could have given me some straight answers about it now. Really though I just hate the whole hospital experience (w/ a purple passion) but I think I would have felt more empowered by the experience if I hadn't had an epidural, giving in to that forced me to give up all control over the situation, I couldn't move or feel, and I had an odd feeling of being disassociated from the whole experience while at the same time feeling violated and helpless ... then when the doc cut that huge episiotomy w/o asking me, and I didn't even know about it until afterwards because I was so numb, it was really the last straw. I really thought since it was my body I'd be given some choice in the matter, but no. It was like I was a big piece of meat lying there on the table without feeling, so everyone felt free to do whatever they wanted to me. It was horrible. So yeah, I think it's a good thing to be able to articulate why drug-free is better!

Uh, thats awful!

I had an induction which =c/s + epidural. I couldnt move, it was pathetic and I hope things are different this time.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by kawa kamuri

I had drug free births because I didn't want to deal with possible complications from drugs. Above that, I had drug free births because I didn't want to numb myself to some of the most beautiful and powerful events in my life.

Lastly, you should feel proud of yourself

Yes, to all this. She wrote my post!

[syn_ack89]

First first child I had an epi and this time (my second) I didn't. I didn't choose not to have an epidural - it just worked out that way. However, now that I have had a epi-free birth, I would do the same again. Yes, it was somewhat terrible for me WHILE I was laboring, but I felt SOOOO wonderful afterward and my baby was so awake and alert...

I KNOW now that epi-free is the way for me, but I don't know if I could ever really articulate why.

[Kmama2]

Originally Posted by kawa kamuri

Above that, I had drug free births because I didn't want to numb myself to some of the most beautiful and powerful events in my life.

I love it!! I think I might steal that line... I was having trouble explaining it myself. I have IV nubane x2 for my first birth and nothing for my second ( born at home) the difference was amazing. I am still glowing from ds's birth. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life!!

[Kedrosami]

Originally Posted by kawa kamuri

I don't. I don't feel it's anyone else's business. I don't have any interest in trying to convince.

I had drug free births because I didn't want to deal with possible complications from drugs. Above that, I had drug free births because I didn't want to numb myself to some of the most beautiful and powerful events in my life.

I don't expect others to get it.

Lastly, you should feel proud of yourself

This exactly. I never really felt any need to explain or convince anyone. It's private, and I honestly don't give a hoot what anyone thinks. But when talking to close friends about it, I just said, it's one of the most important moments of my life. I'm not scared of it and I want to be fully present for it.

Not being scared of childbirth is not a concept that many in our culture understand.

[fyrebloom]

For me, it was the holy grail of life experience. Natural childbirth is so rare in this country and I wanted to experience giving birth, not just a vaginal delivery. It took me two pregnancies and three babies to finally feel what it's like to give birth and the power of the experience was far more then my expectations ever imagined. My fourth child allowed me the chance to try again and have the birth I always hoped for. As hard as it was I'd do it all over again the same way in a hearbeat.

My other reason is that Epidurals are a part of the cascade of intervention that leads to c-sections. Even if a mother is lucky enough to go into labor on her own in this hospital managed day and age she gets her epidural and labor flatlines... then she needs pitocin, and monitors and an IV and the pitocin makes the baby decel and the mother can't move and it all leads to the increased likelyhood of failure to progress or fetal distress. OR even if she makes it to 10 the epidural makes her unable to birth in a good position, her pelvis can't open and baby is deemed "too big" and mom has CPD. I've never had a prob with an epidural, but often they don't block out all the pain and leave mom unable to move to cope, or she gets a spinal headache from it. Just too many risks for something that I didn't find worth it. Granted in the heat of transition I was SCREAMING for an epidural, but the nice thing about transition is it's over fast .

[Friendlee]

[QUOTE=radicaleel;14621778]But when talking to close friends about it, I just said, it's one of the most important moments of my life. I'm not scared of it and I want to be fully present for it.QUOTE]

I like that.
I don't care what people think really, and I certainly don't feel I need to justify it. However...when talking with close friends I do want to be able to explain my decision in a way that they understand my reasoning. (Cause that's what close friends do, they share stuff, but I love the short explanation above for people who I don't normally get into long conversations with). But the close people; well, I want them to understand and hear me the same way they do when I explain to them my decision to buy organic foods when they don't think it matters or to explain why I use coconut oil instead of chemically lotion, etc and so on. They are very curious, but not quick to buy in. Sometimes I am just entertaining to them, but other times they identify and start to change their viewpoints. I know that listening to articulate explanations from others changed my thinking at some point along the way when I was just curious and I think it's probably a really good thing for them to experience someone on my "side" to explain it clearly to them as opposed to just seeing me as a hippie freak and never really understanding! I'm known as "Granola" among my friends.

I like the stuff everyone posted above, it's helping me to tailor my explanation.

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by MamatoPeach

Uh, thats awful!

I had an induction which =c/s + epidural. I couldnt move, it was pathetic and I hope things are different this time.

I hope so too!!!