How to get in the swing of things

[MeredithK]

I think that I am feeling overwhelmed today. It's been 3 1/2 weeks since Dylan was born and I can't quite get in to the swing of things. Today, DH will be gone from 10:30am until 8:30pm. That seems like forever!

I would like to be able to get out of the house, but it's so hard with DS. We don't have any food in the house (literally....our refrigerator broke) and I need some other things. But, DS goes from dead asleep to screaming without any warning.

I can't imagine taking him into a store like that by myself. And, what if he needs to eat while we are out...I'm having such problems with breastfeeding that I can't imagine trying to do it in public. I would have to make it to my car somehow.

I know it will all get easier with time, but any support you have to offer would be appreciated. I feel all sad and weepy today......

[lil_stinkyfeet]

Big hugs to you!
Hang in there... Mine is now 6 weeks old and things are getting easier with every passing week.

Do you have someone you could call to bring you a few things and maybe visit with you for a bit to help your day go faster?

[firewoman]

I'm on number 5 and I still feel this way sometimes. I had completely forgotten that while you may make plans to do certain things during your day, babies have a way of hijacking your day and rearranging your schedule! I think the best thing to do is be ready for this and don't plan to do TOO much in these early months. If you set resonable goals they are much easier to acheive and then you don't feel overwhelmed or swallowed up.

My baby is three and half weeks old, too, and I'm trying to get the whole house CLEAN and do some laundry before I have to leave for the midwife this afternoon. I realize this may be too lofty of a goal!

And another thing, I really like the bebe au lait nursing cover for nursing in public. It covers you and the baby but has boning in it so you can look straight down to see what is going on to get baby latched on. If you know how to sew they would be really easy to make. Check it out!

[Ms. Cellaneous]

I don't have any how-to advice, but just wanted to offer support.
As you say, it totally will get easier. At least, everyone assures me this is so and I have to believe them! Some days you just have to hang in there and take it five minutes at a time.
Maybe order a pizza? Seriously, if there's no food in the house. These first few weeks are what food delivery was made for, if you ask me.

[completebeginnings]

Going out with my first was the hardest in a lot of ways. She was my fussiest baby. But I have yet to go out..not even thinking of going out alone with my four. They are all pretty young 6,4,2, and baby is 10 days. Just do your best people are pretty understanding of new babies crying and my babies often just sleep in the carseat for errands. It is the toddlers that cause the problems. My 2 year old wears squeaky shoes when we go out so I know where he is.

[eloise24]

Sorry you're having a hard time, Meredith. I felt similar with my DD, except there wasn't a "real" reason to- she was pretty content and b-feeding was easy. But somehow, it seemed so overwhelming to go out- balancing naps & feeding, etc. I don't really know how to tell you to get into the groove, but I DO know it will get easier! You will feel better if you have food in the house though Maybe just make yourself go and get it over with? Hugs!

Erika

[Kmama2]

What you are feeling is normal. I get fed up by 4 pm... and by 5 30 when Dh gets home I am ragged. We have a 2 and 1/2 year old and the baby who is 3 weeks but still. Baby is always fussy from 3 pm on and toddler gets cranky by dinner time.
GOing out is a challenge. For instance tomorrow we are going to one of my friends houses in the am so our toddlers can play and I actually starting getting things ready tonight. I have the diaper bag, coats, binky, blanket etc by the door. Baby will barely let me put him down and there are only so many things you can do with 1 hand!! It sort of stressed me out too knowing that baby is going to cry in the car the whole time. I got to freinds houses but as far as going to Target or something I am not brave enough to take the 2 of them yet. Ds goes from calm to screaming in 0.02 seconds too. A good place to nurse if you are at a mall or place like Target is a dressing room. I did it all the time with dd... and I did alot of nursing in the car too. I never did figure out where to nurse in the grocery store though.... Hang in there... you will get into the swing of things. Do make yourself go out and do things though as being home too much with just an infant can get really isolating.

[MeredithK]

Thank you for all of your responses. While I didn't make it out of the house today, I did feel better. I think that hearing that other people have the same concerns helps to know that I am not just freaking myself out.

I think that if I can go out one or two more times with someone else there, I will gain more confidence. I think getting a nursing cover will help with that issue and going to places I am comfortable with will help, too.

Thanks for helping me to realize that it is a normal part of being a mom!

[Serenyd]

I feel your pain. DP went back to work yesterday and we are still adjusting. Pick up from school is interesting .... trying to carry my 21 mo old and my newborn at the same time and walk is a strength and agility test ... trying to get to the school on time is a speed test! Hope it gets better for you, too.

[ZoraP]

I suggest a wrap or a sling for going out ... at least my 3 wk old baby is very content there and it leaves my hands free for other things. That said, with a baby this little you really still need to be resting as much as possible. Do you have anyone to send to the store with a list? If at all possible, try to just get out for a half hour's walk and see how much you can get other people to do for you for now. I like to think of the first 3 months as the "fourth trimester" and really take it easy. It helps relieve that weepy, overwhelmed feeling we all get sometimes.

Also, I personally hate to go to crowded places with such littlies -- not because of the new flu necessarily, but all viruses. I suffered through caring for a very sick tiny baby when my dd2 caught a cold at only 6 weeks -- hopefully I'll never go through that again! (She could hardly breathe and I sat up with her all night to make sure she'd keep breathing. She couldn't nurse well and was totally miserable.) This is another reason I'm using the wrap now when I have to go out with dd3 -- at least people can't touch her or sneeze on her. (I also wash my hands constantly.)

[mrscompgeek]

I feel ya mom! Although my problem is I am still physically recovering and not up to moving around alot yet. I had bad tearing so walking or moving around alot makes it really sore. So Physically Im still not up to par and it makes it very hard to get back in the swing of things. Thankfully DH has been able to take half days off work every couple days to give me a break so that has helped soften the blow of him going back to work.

[Kedrosami]

Oh yeah, this time is difficult for sure.

We are all doing it with you! My baby is 4 weeks old now and I can tell things are improving somewhat. I'm learning ways to cope with the isolation during the days, he is sleeping a little bit more at night, I have found baby-wearing to be an amazing thing, we're working on EC, and as he grows I can see more of his personality coming out and that seems to make up for the hard times.

But I have my rough, sad, weepy patches and my little nervous breakdowns here and there. Breastfeeding has been excruciating at times. Sleep deprivation, ugh. I'm pretty sure this is all normal. Just take it one day at a time!

[lil_stinkyfeet]

Originally Posted by MeredithK

Thank you for all of your responses. While I didn't make it out of the house today, I did feel better. I think that hearing that other people have the same concerns helps to know that I am not just freaking myself out.

I think that if I can go out one or two more times with someone else there, I will gain more confidence. I think getting a nursing cover will help with that issue and going to places I am comfortable with will help, too.

Thanks for helping me to realize that it is a normal part of being a mom!

I have a blue nursing cover from Udder Covers if you pm me your address I can send it to you, I never use it and would be happy to give it to someone who would It is basically brand new I only used it once or twice.

[fyrebloom]

DP goes back to work monday and I'm DREADING it. Absolutely dreading it.

[mrscompgeek]

Originally Posted by fyrebloom

DP goes back to work monday and I'm DREADING it. Absolutely dreading it.

I actually cried the night before DH went back to work. The poor guy felt so bad but he had to go back into work.

[lil_stinkyfeet]

Originally Posted by mrscompgeek

I actually cried the night before DH went back to work. The poor guy felt so bad but he had to go back into work.

I feel for you guys.. I cried because my dh's boss wouldn't let him take ANY time off work.. The only day he got off was the day I left the hospital because he HAD to come and pick me up.

I had a C-Section and with 3 kids at home I was NOT amused that dh didn't get any time off.

[Pandme]

Originally Posted by lil_stinkyfeet

I feel for you guys.. I cried because my dh's boss wouldn't let him take ANY time off work.. The only day he got off was the day I left the hospital because he HAD to come and pick me up.

I had a C-Section and with 3 kids at home I was NOT amused that dh didn't get any time off.

Just wow. I can't believe that.

[Maela]

It's tough, but a nursing cover (I felt like I needed it for the first 6 months w/my first) and a good sling/wrap make it a lot easier. I just make my trips really short and expect that things could get really crazy. Try to stay clam and see the humor in your situation when things do go wrong. People are usually quick to help out a new mom when they see one struggling - don't be afraid to ask for help. Although I do always seem to get lucky and things go just fine. I've only actually had a couple of shopping trips that turned out to be disasters since becoming a mom 2 years ago.