September 07 mamas Giving Thanks

[Faliciagayle]

Hi ladies! New month, new thread

Halloween was good. C. was a bumble bee.

Her "big sister" bed arrived today. It's mighty big. I'll try to upload a pic later.

[mommajb]

L was a pink bunny. I had a Dumbo costume but he wanted to wear the old pink bunny costume so we let him. I took a few photos to show him when he is 13. I want to upload photos but I can tell I am not going to be given a peaceful moment today. Grrrr.

[ishyfishie]

I love Halloween and we had a lot of fun last week, but goodness, I'm glad to have some down time this week! Here's how Lucy's costume turned out.

[Plaid Leopard]

hello-
Yann was a tiger and looked really cute. He enjoyed trick-or-treating but of course mean old mom took away over half his loot. Luckily he seems to have forgotten about the rest of it. He did manage to eat a couple of small choc bars though.

We are considering moving Yann into his own bed, in our room. He wants to nurse allllll night long, and he's becoming a bit of a bed-hog. The other night he actually climbed up onto my back to sleep. Plus our 5yo ds has been coming into our bed almost every night and I've been waking up with a sore back from not having any room, and having to be in nursing position all night. ugh. I love snuggling with them at night but I need some real sleep.

[ishyfishie]

I need to share a WTF moment: Lucy and I have been talking a lot about Baby Caroline growing, coming out when she's ready, playing with Lucy, sharing her nursies, etc. Well...the other night, Lucy says, "Baby Lino-line...bottoos." I asked her to repeat it, had no idea what she meant, then said, "Wait...BOTTLES?" Yup. No clue where she learned to associate bottles with babies--she's never had one in her life, none of her toys have them, I've never identified one to her in person, and I can't recall ever hearing or seeing bottle references in any of the PBS shows she might catch. What the heck?? I said, "No, Caroline doesn't need bottles, just nursies," and she said, "Oh, noosies!" It was just so weird!

And to be fair, I have nothing against bottles themselves, lol. I was just so shocked because I can't recall ever even SAYING the word bottle in front of her unless it was in reference to a water bottle or something. She nurses all her dolls and animals (or makes them nurse each other), or occasionally gives them "drinks" from her cups. Hmmm!

[~Katie~]

Didn't see the new thread

Happy Wednesday!

Hope the first half of the week went well for all. Liam is sick again, but we aren't *knock on wood*. I'm currently NAKing with him right now which is quite the challenge these days. He has a nasty, phlegmy cough and runny nose but is his normal happy self otherwise. I've been giving him Happy Citrus tea and I'm going to make him some soup shortly.

I feel like I'm in the never-ending sleep regression from hell. Laine lets me sleep in 30-60 minute intervals all night and wakes up for good around 4am and screams for several hours. This has been going on since she turned 4 months or so and is getting progressively worse. I wake up in the morning and literally spend all day trying not to fall asleep where I'm standing. It's gotten to the point where I will just hold her next to me in bed and be sound asleep while she's screaming. She doesn't appear to have anything wrong with her other than teething. I give her Motrin at night for it but that doesn't seem to be helping at all. Not sure what else to do. With Liam, he may have been miserable when awake but at least he slept like a rock.

[~Katie~]

Wanted to come back quick and mention about the bottle thing. One day at a midwife appointment, Liam took a bottle of aloe gel used for the doppler and was feeding it to the baby she uses with her pelvis model. He too had never seen a bottle or had made the correlation between bottle and baby. I'd never seen him do it before. Do you think someone could have maybe mentioned the use of a bottle with a baby to her?

[mommajb]

Katie, that sounds rough. We should all get together for a few days of slumber party. We could sleep in shifts, hold babies in shifts, cook in shifts, and hire out the cleaning.

Reading what you wrote I wonder if there is anything in The No-Cry Sleep Solution that would help you? Linus and I used it for a bit when his sleep was driving me crazy. The details are all a bit fuzzy as I wasn't sleeping much when I read it.

[mommajb]

The bottle thing: Who knows where they saw it. It really points out how bottles are a cultural hindrance to breastfeeding. Try to buy a baby gift, wrap it and include a card and have no reference to bottles, pacifiers or the like. Any reference to feeding babies has to refer to breastfeeding and be positive. It is hard to do. Ditto for children's books about babies.

[Plaid Leopard]

Katie-
I hope you find a solution for Laine's nightwaking and screaming and that you get some sleep. Have you tried homeopathic chamomilla

Since this is the Giving Thanks thread I guess I will give thanks

I am thankful for my four beautiful children, my loving and generous husband, my caring family and my lovely friends.
I am thankful for all the laundry, dishes to be washed, meals to be made, toys to be picked up and rooms to be cleaned - because that means we have clothes to wear, food to eat, a roof over our heads and abundance in our lives.

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by mommajb

The bottle thing: Who knows where they saw it. It really points out how bottles are a cultural hindrance to breastfeeding. Try to buy a baby gift, wrap it and include a card and have no reference to bottles, pacifiers or the like. Any reference to feeding babies has to refer to breastfeeding and be positive. It is hard to do. Ditto for children's books about babies.

I agree. Every time I buy a baby gift I purposefully look for things without bottles on them, it can be a bit of a challenge, especially with cards.

[~Katie~]

I've got another story for you from the neighbor chronicles:

Do ever feel like saying "Well, DUH?!" to people? I had that moment today. We were outside chatting and she said that the baby hates his carseat (so she can't use the double stroller I let her borrow) and being put down in general and wants to be held all the time but she obviously can't do that. My first thought was "well I probably wouldn't want to be put down either if I was left to cry in my crib". But I asked her if she was using the carrier I gave her or any for that matter and she isn't. Maybe I'm missing something? I don't know, I just don't see the sense in making life harder for yourself. If you have a tool that will allow you to go about your day and make your life easier then why wouldn't you use it? She's also freaking out about daylight savings and how it's totally screwing up their nap schedule. I don't have the heart to tell her that my kids were adjusted after 2 days of it without any work on my part. I make gentle suggestions but obviously it's not getting through to her. So now I am

[mrsb422]

Katie and I’m so sorry. Sleep deprivation is the worst. At least YOU are starting to sleep even though Laine is awake. I wish I could come and take a shift for you. And about the mom who just doesn’t “get it”…some people are seriously so clueless. The fact that she has you to help her and STILL isn’t seeing the big picture is really sad.

Michelle making the decision is the worst. I’m glad Lucy is helping to make it easier for you. I hope it goes easily and without too much heartache

Mommajb at the pink bunny…priceless. :trudat to everything you said about baby stuff…the bottles are everywhere!! We really have to do everything we can to teach our kids. If I can convert my husband then these kids should be easy sells!!

Rachel Lucy’s costume was just adorable – you did a great job That is really strange about what Lucy said regarding the bottles. I can’t figure out where they get some of this stuff! At least it wasn’t followed by a big “no” when you reminded her about sharing ‘nursies’

Plaid I threw out about ¾ of the candy too DS hasn’t even noticed though IKWYM with the soreness of trying to co-sleep…when DS does decide to come in with us I can count on being awake from that moment on. Between kicking, poking, and talking (or wanting to be on top of me), there’s absolutely no sleeping!

I think it has been nearly a whole week since I’ve been on here…sorry!! I’m so bad lately. Work is insane, my health sucks the big one, and life happens…no excuse, I miss my mamas

DS just had a total meltdown about 30 minutes ago and then the light bulb went off for me…he was tired. Duh. Seriously, sometimes I need someone to smack me in the forehead. He was freaking out because Dora had a popsicle on TV and when he asked me for one I told him I didn’t have any. He just kept repeating it over and over and over at the top of his lungs. Of course he fell asleep in about 3 minutes once I put him to bed All I wanted was some darned cuddle time…guess a lady can keep dreaming.

Had a blowout with DH this morning too about stupid stuff. He’s been going to so many “extracurricular” work activities lately (ie World Series games) and staying out super late (ie 3:00 am!!!)…I guess it just finally got the best of me. He came home last night smelling like he drank the whole bar, smoked all the cigarettes in the world (mind you he quit nearly 7 years ago now) and fell asleep for 2 hours before Marty decided to hop in bed with him when my alarm went off. When I came down stairs to get ready, I found a pack of matches from a strip club…I lost my cool . I am upset with myself for jumping to conclusions. I am upset with myself for freaking out. I’m usually pretty level-headed about this stuff – innocent until proven guilty, well, not this morning. The matches came from the smoke shop who gives them out with purchases (free advertising for the club that’s a couple doors down). He said the game was crazy trying to leave the city since it was after all the World Series and the home team just won. I can understand, but I was so irate, I couldn’t even see straight. He did warn me about coming home late, but I thought that would be like 1 am at the latest…3 was completely unreasonable in my opinion. IDK…I can’t seem to move on, even though I really want to. I told him one of these days I’m going to “call his debt” on all these nights out and weekends away and take off to Fiji for 3 months with nothing but a toothbrush, bathing suit and his credit card. Sad part is, I’m hardly joking!!

I don’t want a pity party, but seriously. He spends the evening being wined and dined in a corporate box watching a great game, staying out all night. He comes and goes as he pleases (sometimes for the whole weekend if it’s an overnight trip) without any second thoughts. Why is the entire responsibility mine by default?? Who made that rule??? He actually was considering going on a golf trip with friends for a week in the beginning of April. He asked me about it and I told him, “I will never tell you no. I’m not your mom and you don’t need to ask me for permission. That said, I am your wife. I am carrying your unborn child. I will be 9 months pregnant at that time, working full time, caring for your toddler, and celebrating my birthday. Still want to go play golf with your buddies?? How do you think that one will pan out?? “ He just kind of stared at me, chuckled, and then went back to what he was doing. I’m really interested to see how this one goes….

On top of all that, I feel like garbage. My OB is finally sending me back to my neurologist (who I haven’t seen since before we conceived Marty) because my migraines are out of control. I’ve been taking all the supplements I researched on here in addition to my prenatals and in addition to trying to avoid all the usual triggers, but I guess my hormones are just more than I can manage. I am actually having aura migraines now in addition to the regular ones. I couldn’t see for more than 45 minutes at work on Tuesday and when the “aura” was gone I had the worst migraine of my whole life. I finally had to leave work (once I could see again) drive to my mom’s (because she only lives 10 minutes away from my job) and sleep for a few hours before I could be well enough to pick up my son and drive home. I was sick as a dog the rest of the night and into the next morning. This is awful. I swear this baby is trying to kill me

Ok, that’s enough doom and gloom for tonight…sorry mamas. I’m just so blue. So grateful to have all of you…you’re my angels in the stormy parts of life

[Plaid Leopard]

Mrsb - so sorry you are having a rough time.
I hope you can find a remedy for your migraines. Have you looked into homeopathy? I knew a woman who suffered horrible migraines during her first pregnancy, even having a migraine during labour! During her next pregnancy she tried homeopathy, which helped her alot. The remedy she used was staphysagria, but of course each person would have their own remedy based on their constitution, the overall emotional and physical picture etc.
I know this woman was feeling a lot of anger and resentment towards her husband and felt that her migraines were related at least in part to that. She wasn't the type to complain or stand up for herself. Don't know if that applies to you...
In any case, you might also look into acupuncture, seeing a chiropractor or osteopath, also exploring any unresolved issues you have with yourself, DH, your parents or anything in your past...

big hugs to you.

[ishyfishie]

to mrsb and Michelle (sorry for the delay there!)

I thought I replied a couple times but uh, apparently I started typing and got distracted! On the bottles--yeah, now I'm starting to feel like it's weirder that *I* didn't catch some kind of reference in her PBS shows...but I'm also thinking now about the animal shows we've watched where a baby animal has a bottle (Charlotte's Web, and "Growing Up _____" on Animal Planet lol), so I'd feel better if that's where she saw it! Now she says it like it's a big joke, "Bottoos? Nooo! Baby Lino-line noosies!" She has definitely reacted well (so far) to the idea of sharing her nursies, especially when I mentioned that the milk will come back when Caroline comes, lol. Now she rubs my belly and says, "M'out, Lino-line!"

[~Katie~]

I think this could be one of the worst days I've had in a long time.

There was a big blow-up on the local board that I was involved in over some heated topics in the media at the moment, and it lead to some ganging up on me. I don't want to go into details about it but it clearly was a case of differing political viewpoints and some people couldn't handle that, in addition to blatant discrimination. I've decided to leave the board because this was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back.

At this point I just feel like my beliefs are way too different from the majority of those around me to have any kind of lasting friendships. I'm a liberal democrat with crunchy parenting choices that lives in the south, there aren't too many people who have things in common with me. I feel really lonely as a result because I'm so far away from friends that I do have things in common with. I feel like these mom groups are nothing more than a bunch of bullies in disguise with a few nice people thrown in and heaven forbid you disagree with any of their view points and stand up for yourself. I just feel really alone and crappy right now, I haven't heard from Andrew in two days, I just want a hug

[Plaid Leopard]

Katie- Sending you many many virtual hugs - even though I know that doesn't even equal one real-life hug. I'm sorry you are having a hard time and feeling lonely. I have been through that and it is rough.
Just remember that friends pop up in unlikely places. I hope you find someone near you that shares you outlook on life and parenting and politics and can support you. Until then, you have all of us.

[mrsb422]

Plaid My little brother has bad migraines too and said that acupuncture has been a miracle for him. I really would prefer to not take any more caustic prescriptions, so I think I’m going to see about finding a naturopath or something in the area. Thanks for the advice

Rachel at Lucy and telling Caroline to come out – that’s too sweet!!

Katie mama…I’m so sorry about the other mom’s. I know the feeling and I’m sure all the stuff going on at Fort Hood has affected you more than most based on your family situation. I can’t stop crying about it personally so I can only imagine. I really just can’t wrap my head around it. I’m sorry that the other moms are ganging up on you. I don’t understand people who don’t understand that we’re not all the same…that’s what makes us beautiful. , we you just the way you are. Wish we were geographically closer

Good morning mamas. Thanks for all the hugs and support…you ladies are the best. Things at home have calmed a little and I’m very grateful. I’m going to a tricky tray tonight with two of my best girl friends and my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, and some of their friends. I plan to sandwich myself between my girlfriends and ignore the rest . I’m not a big fan of tricky trays or any sort of “games of chance” (I just think they’re dumb and a waste of money) but it’ll be good to get out of the house (ALONE) and chill with some other women. I’m that my head stays on straight (no migraines) and I can actually enjoy some of the snacks people are bringing without barfing

We’ve been working on using the potty at home alone with Marty since he is self-sufficient at school (except for tushy wiping of course). This morning I felt so bad though. He had just a t-shirt and underwear on, came in to tell me he did a pee-pee all by himself. We did a happy dance, high-5, the whole deal and he kept grabbing himself. I asked him if he still had to go and he said no. I asked him if his underwear was twisted (it rolls sometimes when he tries to pull it up because he refuses to use 2 hands) and he said no, but then asked me to fix it. I pulled up his shirt so I could see what I was fixing and he caught is penis in the elastic waist band. I feel bad about it, but the poor thing!! It was funny and awful all at once.

Well we’re off to take a shower and then to the grocery store to get ingredients for the goodies for tonight. Then cooking and the tricky tray. I hope you all have a lovely day – it is freakin’ freezing here!! What the heck is up with that??

[mommajb]

Katie, I've been there, almost literally. Call an old friend and realize how sure you are in your convictions, remember why you feel this way and know that when you make friends they are real friends.

I am feeling particularly raw,exposed and somewhat taken advantage of. I am not sure what to do about it. I met a woman that previously I would not have thought I had much in common with but in the last few months I realized we did in fact share quite a bit. In short, she worded some things oddly, it hurt my feelings, I didn't call her on it and now I don't know what to do as I can't just ignore it.

On a more positive note, I ran a half marathon this weekend. It was hard, uphill into the wind for the last 5+ miles. My time was 1h:51m:00.3s and I even ran again this morning (I think I'll take tomorrow off).

dinner won't cook itself....

[Faliciagayle]

big, sloppy hugs to you Katie. I'm so sorry. Isolation and aloneness are such demoralizing emotions; I can only imagine what you're going through as a liberal army wife (making sweeping generalizations about your company).

Jess - Ugh on the migraines. I really hope you find something that works for you. Have you tried wheat as a trigger? It's a major PITA when you first get rid of it but once you learn how to eat wheat free, it's pretty easy. I was wheat free for 2 years and it helped a bit. I won't lie, it wasn't the miracle I was looking for. Magnesium deficiency can exacerbate migraines. Have you added Mg into your diet as a supp? I used to munch on a plate of raw walnuts (excellent source of Mg) when I first noticed the aura and often times it helped.

Mamajb - You know, I was feeling all kinds of okay about not running as far into this pregnancy as I did with C's, and then I read some RW blurb about a single mom of 6 who's run 15 marathons. And then you pop up with 1000 miles in one year (amazing) and a sub 4 hour mary and sub 2 hour half mary right on Mary's heels. Amazing amazing amazing. Congratulations

C has officially moved into her own room Shocking that it's been a rather easy transition... DH and I aren't sleeping as well but I must admit to loving the ability to read in bed AT NIGHT for the first time in two years. It's fleeting, I know, but I'll take what I can get.