SOS!!!!! Please help!!!

[amyandelle]

My best friend had her first baby Thursday morning. She had every intention to nurse.

She had a terrible birth experience. Her baby was only 37 weeks. She did start off nursing and did pretty good. They were having a hard time keeping the baby awake to nurse but overall it sounded like things were going well. Then she had to be supplimented with formula because my friend is a diabetic and the baby's sugars were off. Then 2 days after birth she became severly jaundiced so she had to be under the light for 24 hours with very little breaks to eat. Of course the hospital didn't really allow her to nurse during this time and put my friend on a pump.

Fast forward to yesterday. They were finally sent home from the hospital. My friend is constantly crying. She went out and bought a Medela pump last night and is pumping but she does not want to put her baby to the breast. I am trying to encourage her and give her tips but she says she just does not want to do it. She says right now she just want to pump. She says she does not want to feel this way but she can't help it.

What can I do? Do you have any suggestions? Please help me help her!!!

Amy

[mummytoH]

Sounds like she's made up her mind & you can't force her - maybe offer support in other areas, like housework/errands etc so all she has to focus on is nursing...? All I can think of, as I worry the more you pressurise her, the more she'll dig her heels in & refuse to nurse.

Sounds like she may have other issues going on TBH.

[amyandelle]

Originally Posted by mummytoH

Sounds like she's made up her mind & you can't force her - maybe offer support in other areas, like housework/errands etc so all she has to focus on is nursing...? All I can think of, as I worry the more you pressurise her, the more she'll dig her heels in & refuse to nurse.

Sounds like she may have other issues going on TBH.

See the thing is that she says she wants to nurse and that is why I keep encouraging her. She says she does not know why she feels the way she does and that she does not want to feel this way. She has been making her husband feed the baby all day because she says she does not even feel like feeding her at all I am really worried

[KristaDJ]

Oh my, mama. This is not a breastfeeding issue by any means and there is really no advice to offer for that besides supporting her in pumping. It sounds like she is suffering psychologically from the birth, PPD or even PTSD. I would keep a very close eye on her (and tell her husband to also), be there often, call her often and offer her help any way that you can with household chores and such. Encourage her to at least bottle feed the baby but don't push her and make her feel inadequate, I assure you her mind is assaulting her right now and pushing her to nurse will only make her feel worse and want to cut you off. It must be so hard to see your friend go through this

[caro113]

would she be open to a visit from an LLL leader? If anything, they can help her pump more efficiently and be more of a support system.

it definitely sounds like PPD and that could turn into a bigger problem later, so maybe talk to her husband about the possibility of getting her help in that area. I definitely suffered (and still do) from PPD after my daughter born last October. It negatively affected our nursing relationship and really screw up a lot of things.

[amyandelle]

Thank you Mama's!!

I just called and her husband answered and said that she is trying to nurse right now so that is very reassuring!! I am so worried about her! I have not been able to go over to visit her because I had a cold and now my dd has a cough so I have been trying to be as supportive as I can over the phone. This is just so frusterating because I want to be there helping her!!!!!! I am going to suggest an LLL leader or a Lactation consultant to her. I know there is also a breastfeeding support group and a new Mama group that she can attend through the hospital so I am going to remind her of those meetings. Hopefully that will help her too.

Thanks!
Amy

[pbjmama]

Maybe you can send over take out or something? I agree, the issue is that her birth was not the best experience and because of the separation along with other things, I'm sure, bonding is taking more time than it would usually. Follow her lead and keep up the good work being a friend!

[dislocator3972]

I felt similarly towards my babe as your friend feels towards hers, at least at points. And it makes nursing HARD.

It sounded a little strange to me, but taking a bath with my DD felt AMAZING. It gave me all the strength and desire to cuddle and nurse my babe. While in the tub I had to be careful of the cord and careful that the babe didn't get cold, but it was worth it. And watching the babe start to look for the breast led me to let her try to nurse and I felt SUCH a high.

If nothing else, a bath could give her a few minutes to sit quietly and marvel at her naked little babe. It felt like my second chance to experience her first after birth moments, I hope your friend gets hers!

[BubbyBooty]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ

Oh my, mama. This is not a breastfeeding issue by any means and there is really no advice to offer for that besides supporting her in pumping. It sounds like she is suffering psychologically from the birth, PPD or even PTSD. I would keep a very close eye on her (and tell her husband to also), be there often, call her often and offer her help any way that you can with household chores and such. Encourage her to at least bottle feed the baby but don't push her and make her feel inadequate, I assure you her mind is assaulting her right now and pushing her to nurse will only make her feel worse and want to cut you off. It must be so hard to see your friend go through this

just what I was thinking momma. I will keep her in my prayers. I have PPD and PTSD so I know what shes going through. I also had a horrible birth of my oldest daughter. She was born at 36 weeks. She had jaundes too. I had to have a c-section followed by my daughters mouth being too small to nurse. I felt like a horrible mom and a failure as a woman. See, I know how she feels and I am here if you need me.