Questions to ask when interviewing for a nanny....! and how do I fire the current nanny?

[annekevdbroek]

Our current nanny is not working out, for several reasons. I hired her because she worked for a neighbor for many years and I'd met her. However, its not working and it is clear to me that I need to hire someone else. I don't really know where to start with an interview. I have an idea of what I can pay, and the duties. However, I want someone who is a good fit with us and I've never hired anyone for anything before (other than a lawn moing guy).

So, what do you ask? What is it important to ask? Did you do a trial-run on a day you'd be home? Did your kids meet the nanny? How did you do a back-ground check?

Any other advice, words of wisdom, etc. would be great.

Also, if you've fired a nanny, how did you handle it? I was thinking that I'd pay her for 2 weeks or so but just let her go - have the new nanny (once found) start immediately. I don't like the idea of telling someone that they are going to be fired in two weeks and then still having to rely on them for childcare.

[MtBikeLover]

Sorry in advance because this got really long as I tried to answer all your questions:

Well, I think that the questions you ask will be skewed to your situation. For example, my DD is having a difficult time not having daddy be the one to take care of her during the day plus having to deal with a divorce. So I asked questions like:

How will you handle it if DD says "I hate you" or doesn't want to talk to you? How do you handle hearing emotions from a child (for example, do you just listen or try to fix the problem)?

Also, my kids are older so I asked questions like:

What kinds of things do you like to do with the kids? Are you ok with taking them out in the cold to play in the snow? Do you like to go to Six Flags? Are you ok with driving them places? Will you host playdates and take children on playdates?

We are also not ok with a lot of TV or junk food so I ask:

What is your opinion of TV? Do you cook? If so, what kinds of things do you cook?

We wanted someone very gentle, non punitive, non confrontational so I asked many situational questions:

What would you do if DD didn't eat what you had cooked for lunch? How do you handle things when the kids are fighting? What if they are fighting over a toy? How would you handle it if a child hit you? Do you try to find a way to compromise with a child? Do you sometimes let them "win"? How do you get them to help clean up?

I also make my expectations very clear after I have asked the questions - We don't punish, we don't do timeouts, we don't spank, food is not a battle in our house (they can eat pretty much whatever is in the house), I like them to get outside as much as possible, I want them to help you clean up their toys after done playing, I am looking for someone that will play with my kids, do arts and crafts with them, read to them, etc. I would like light housekeeping done while the kids are in school, including errands like grocery shopping. And I make sure they don't have any issues with it.

Make sure you give them a chance to ask questions too. You can tell a lot by what they ask.

But even the best interview might not uncover potential issues. I interviewed a lot of nannies and hired one that said everything I wanted to hear. She sounded perfect. I then had her meet with the kids. She did everything right. However, she ended up being awful and just about everything she said in her interview was a lie.

I did not have to fire her because she quit on her own, so I did not pay her for 2 weeks. I'm not sure how to handle paying her if you fire her. But I definitely agree with not keeping her around after you fire you. I also changed all the locks in the house after our last nanny quit.

In terms of background checks, I did not run one on her because I found her through a website that had done background checks. I also checked at least 6 of her references. Again, this can be hard because they choose the people that they want you to call so of course they wouldn't give you someone they didn't get along with.

With my new nanny, I got a recommendation from someone. Plus, she had been with the same family for 8 years and they gave a super glowing recommendation for her. I am hoping this one works out!

Oh and about having the kids meet them - Absolutely!! This time around, i didn't have a lot of time as I needed a nanny ASAP so I did my interview at home with the kids present. It worked great. Last time, I had interviewed the candidate over the phone, then met with them in person, then had them meet the kids if I like them. It took a ton of time and I found just having them meet the kids at the same time as me worked just as well.

[annekevdbroek]

Thank you MtBikeLover - you've given me excellent information. I was able to find some interview suggestions online, and yours are even better. Its not so much an issue of the nanny being bad (the current one) as much as she is clearly overwhelmed and not able to effectively solve problems. I don't think she'd steal from me or hurt the kids. However, I am just going to give her two weeks pay and let her go when the time comes. I feel bad because she is older and needs the work, but it is just a really poor match.

[Ldavis24]

As a former nanny and with a couple close friends who have been nannies for years there are some really important things to consider when hiring one. Soo
first for the firing of your nanny. I would be really up front with her and tell her you are letting her go. However, I think it is really unfair to fire her without any notice at all. Even a week would be alright and honestly if I had been fired and they asked if I could or would work for another week or so I would have just politely declined. If you are concerned for your children's well being because she would handle it badly that is another matter entirely!

As far as questions to ask like the PP said they vary greatly by your situation. It is important to set very clear ideas about what the job entails. For example, do you expect cooking to be done? How often? What kind of food and are there any food restrictions that you need to relay to potential nanny? Do you expect housework to be done and if so what kind and how often? Do you expect your nanny to care for any pets at the same time she is watching your children? What schedule do you need your nanny on, are there times when she will travel with you? Will you expect her to work without notice if you need her to? Are there any restrictions on specific activities, ie. no television for the kids?

All of these are fair things to discuss with your possible nanny because it is really really frustrating from the nanny perspective to be hired and have a good idea of what you think you will be doing only to be lectured when you don't do the laundry or something when you didn't know it was required!

For example, I worked for a family for a summer where I was told I would need to do light cooking and one load of laundry a day as well as take the 2 dogs out for a walk once a day. Well that turned into me being questioned as to why ALL the laundry wasn't done every day and why I hadn't cleaned the dogs poop up in the back yard and why had I let their daughter have a particular snack that was in their fridge anyway. I quit that job pretty quickly...

See what I mean about needing to be on the same page though? It is SOOO VITAL that you are because it really prevents headaches for both sides in the future.
As far as your possible nanny meeting your children that is also very important to me, because frankly and please don't take this as a slight against your children I have interviewed with families and met their children and from meeting the kids knew it wasn't going to work out! Also you want your kids to be comfortable with a possible nanny and it is better to find that out before you hire someone.

Finally, sorry for the rambling, please do a CORI on whoever you choose to hire, for your families sake. This should be at your expense and it is really quite easy! Also as far as pay goes I know you said you had a general idea but IMO as well as every other nanny I have ever met in my life (quite a few we travel in circles ) $15 an hour for one child is the bare minimum I would accept as payment. More for more children. This may seem like a lot but you have to ask yourself, you are trusting this person with your child it is not an easy job at all. It is stressful at times and can be a lot of work (think about how hard it is to raise a child, it isn't the same but you are still asking someone to care for that child and act as a guardian when you are not there). Honestly I would question someone who was willing to work for less than $10 an hour!

I hope I didn't ramble too much and I hope some of that helped! Good luck and be patient with your search it can be really hard to find a good match, I know coming from the other perspective!

sorry I just read your update and am glad that you were able to give your Nanny that you are letting go such good treatment! It means a lot it really does.

[JL83]

My suggestion is to come up with a very short list of "must haves". 3 to 5 things which this person must be or be willing to do. Then have a wish list of sorts. Have the kind of things that would be really nice to have, but not necessary on that.

Then make sure to ask about each of the important things in at least 2 different ways. Possibly 1 direct question and 1 situational kind of question.

As an example, when I was interviewing people (ended up going with a center) I asked what their philosophy on getting toddlers to go to sleep was. One woman had a very nice sounding speech about making the atmosphere conducive to sleep by turning down the lights, playing soft music and having a solid routine. So then I asked, maybe 5 minutes later, what she would do if she'd done the nap routine and my DD wasn't asleep yet. She then basically described a controlled CIO approach. Still using very nice sounding language about how she'd go into the room to reassure DD that everything was OK, sing another song until DD was calm, and then leave so that DD could fall asleep. And if DD cried, she'd wait a few minutes and repeat. Absolutely not something I was OK with. I kind of mentioned that we wouldn't be on board with that and she seemed kind of shocked and was adamant that it wasn't CIO or anything.

So it was interesting to see how the stock answer and the specific answer varied.

[purplevega]

This is my list of questions for babysitters and nanny's:

1. What childcare experience do you have? Have you taken CPR, attended a babysitter course, or taken related school courses?

2. Do you regularly work/volunteer with kids? If so, please describe (such as helping out with young dance classes, serving as a sports assistant, etc.).
Why do you enjoy working with children?

3. What activities will you plan with my kid(s) when I am gone?

4. Does your home have a gun? If so where is the gun and or ammo locked up?

5. What age children do you most enjoy? Least enjoy? Why? Which age group are you most comfortable/experienced with?

6. What are your overall child care philosophy?

7. Do you know how to change a diaper...and are you comfortable with changing even the really messy kinds?

8. What will you do if the kids aren't getting along (or worse, fighting)? How will you handle separation anxiety?

9. What will you do if my child won't listen you or exhibits behavior such as biting?

10. How would you describe your approach to discipline?

11. Under what type of situation would you call me?

12. Do you know how to prepare a simple meal?

13. Do you know how to feed a toddler? Do you know what to do if a child chokes?

14. How much television or screen time would my child have in your home?

15. What hours and days of the week are you available to work?

16. What type of commitment will you provide me that you will honor our agreement to baby-sit and not cancel?


17. What babysitter qualities do you have that should make me want to hire you?

18. What was your worst babysitting experience, and why?

19. Do you have a list of references?

20. What can I do as a parent to help make your babysitting experience with my kids a success?

21. Have you ever been in an emergency situation with a child in your care?

22. What are you doing to make sure that that child abuse/ sexual abuse does not happen with children in your care?

23. What adults or teenagers will be at your home while my children are there?

24. Have you ever suspected that a child in your care was being abused?

25. How would you react to a child fondling himself?

26. How would you respond to a child who asks you to keep a secret from their parents?

27. How would you respond to a child who asks you to touch their private parts?

28. What is your hourly rate?

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

Also as far as pay goes I know you said you had a general idea but IMO as well as every other nanny I have ever met in my life (quite a few we travel in circles ) $15 an hour for one child is the bare minimum I would accept as payment. More for more children.

I wonder if this is highly dependant on where you live? I live in the Chicago area and the rate for nannies around here is $11-13/hour for 2-3 kids.

Even my boss, who lives in an extremely upscale area where houses are $1million+ only pays $600 a week for 50 hours.

[annekevdbroek]

Thank you everyone. The going rate is around $15-$20 per hour in this area. I am keeping a list of all the questions so I can put together a phone interview to screen out applicants and more questions for an in-person interview. So far I've only had two email responses to my ad on craigslist and was able to eliminate those people without bothering with a phone call.

And just to clarify, I plan to pay the current nanny for two weeks after I let her go. I am not letting her go with no pay and no notice. I just feel more comfortable not asking her to come back for two weeks after giving her notice that she's being fired.

[therdogg]

I'm surprised to learn the going rate in Chicago is $11-13 for 2-3 kids. I earned more than that, a decade ago, to care for one child in Chicago. The parents did not live in a million dollar house at all.

[annekevdbroek]

Thank you everyone. I found a nanny today. I'd just about given up. The responses I was getting to my ad were frustrating. She has really good references and we did a phone interview. I contacted her last employeer (she left because she moved across country). She came over today for an interview and stayed almost 2 hours talking with me and playing with the kids (who really liked her).

I am going to start a seperate thread on running a background check.

[monkey-lamb]

Just thought I'd reply with my experience in case some one else runs across this thread. I think all the questions other posters suggested were great. However, I wanted to add that a lot of my hiring was based on a gut feeling. Our interview did not really consist of a ton of formal questions. We mainly spent the time getting to know the person. One question I did ask was, "What would you do if you disagreed with something I asked you to do?" My nanny said that she would suggest a better idea but ultimately respect my wishes. I think this is important because you can't anticipate every single scenario in an interview. My nanny and I raise our own children differently, but we both raise my child the same? Does that make sense?