What to say to 8yr old... - Page 2

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

what do you say to the 8 yr old? nothing.

I understand caring enough, especially since she is your neice. But she's not your child. I would talk to my sister, yes. But not the little girl.

I agree with this...she is your sister. Present her with factual information and let it lie. What she chooses to do with the info is up to her. But I don't agree that you have to butt out. This is your family and you care. Maybe your sis is just not informed or misinformed about stuff. Giving people information is not butting into people's lives IMO. They are free to do what they want with the info, but at least you tried.

[Ruthla]

I wouldn't say a word to the 8yo (in person or on FB or email or any other medium.)

If you do want to say anything to your sister, still approach it gently. Your neice has already received the flu vaccine this year, and nothing can change that. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to wait until the spring or summer to talk about "reasons you might not want the flu vax this upcoming fall".

Maybe put up some anti-vax info on your FB account so your sister can read that? And, well, if your neice reads it too and brings it up with her mom, that's the price your sister pays for giving her 8yo a FB account.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by poiyt

Apparantly everyone who is 8 is on FB...she is 50 friends (from gymnastics and school)...weird I know.


You guys all said what I was thinking.
But then I wonder....at what age should it be her decision? Or should she have a say? It cant honestly be until she is legal..I mean I know legally it is - but should she not be afforded the right to talk to her mom about these issues and how can she if she is not informed?....

My nearly 11 year old is on facebook as is all of her friends. I am friends with all of them as are two other parents. We monitor their friends and their pages (as two of the other mothers don't/can't.) I have my statuses blocked from their view.

Mostly they use it to take quizzes and play games.

The age of consent for medical treatment in Oregon is 15. Which means my child could go to the doctor and get treatment without my permission and I would be sent the bill. Lovely. (although I can see in some cases where this is a good idea.)

[Callimom]

Originally Posted by poiyt

Apparantly everyone who is 8 is on FB...she is 50 friends (from gymnastics and school)...weird I know.


You guys all said what I was thinking.
But then I wonder....at what age should it be her decision? Or should she have a say? It cant honestly be until she is legal..I mean I know legally it is - but should she not be afforded the right to talk to her mom about these issues and how can she if she is not informed?....

It depends on the kid and on the parent and the family's values. No 8 year old that I know has the mental capacity, the emotional maturity, nor the ability to look at the long term effects of that kind of decision and come to a reasonable well thought out decision. Heck I know adults that aren't capable of that. Eight might seem old to you if you just have a baby but for my kids they are still very much in the realm of fairies and make believe and bad dreams and dithering over what kind of ice cream to get. Opening up a discussion with one of them about this kind of issue and putting the weight of "input" on their shoulders about this kind of decision would be a huge detriment to their childhood and frankly if one of my sisters started that with one of them their contact with my kids would be severely limited.

There is a huge difference between intervening because of real safety issues (abuse, neglect, etc) and sticking your nose in on something that is a difference of opinion. IMO the adult thing to do is talk to your sister about it, get her read on it and honour her role as mother. Anything else undermines not only the relationship between your sister and her child(ren), it would undermine your relationship with your niece and put her in a very difficult and uncomfortable position, and I imagine it could seriously damage your relationship with your sister.

Just my 2 cents.
Karen

[StephandOwen]

I agree with the others- butt out. My mom got my 13 year old sister both flu shots... at the same time. She'll also be getting my 7 year old sister and 3 year old brother them. Last weekend when we were visiting she made sure to tell me that they were giving out the flu shots in her town and I could take ds to go get them while we were around. I smiled, nodded, and thanked her for the info- knowing there was no way in h*ll I was taking ds to get them.

[medicmama]

Originally Posted by mama1803

No advice from me either, but I'd have to wonder why an 8 year old is even allowed to be posting on FB???????

That's what I was thinking!

[alllyssa]

I also have an 8 year old

She's not on FB and doesn't know anyone who is. Although I do think FB is pretty calm, but maybe it's just the crowd I hang with

If she's your FB friend, you could simply post vaccine articles, like I do occasionally. If she asks you about it, here's what I told my dd8 when she asked why she has never had a shot:

You haven't been vaccinated because
#1 most of the diseases that they give shots for are very rare
#2 some of the shots are for diseases that are not very dangerous for healthy children
#3 we are lucky to live in a country where we have clean drinking water, healthy food and important things, like indoor toilets that cut down the risk of many serious diseases dramatically
#4 if we lived in a country where certain serious diseases were rampant, I would probably change my mind about those vaccines, because the benifit would outweigh the risk of the shot.

This was at a level that she could understand. I've had this discussion with my older children too - it's always an interesting conversation.