I DO NOT understand how anyone affords in home childcare.

[Funny Face]

I think that someone taking care of your child needs to be paid well, it only makes sense. So where I live that would be around $15 an hour.

But when I go back to work, that will be 3/4 of my salary! It almost doesn't make sense for me to work at all when you factor in the cost of food, clothes and commuting!

I guess only very wealthy people can afford in home childcare?

Daycare is not an option for us.

Ugh!

[Teenytoona]

I have to say, that alot of in-home child care is seriously underpriced, we'd never be able to afford that rate either. I think the best idea is to look for moms in your area (maybe in the FYT forum?) and work out some kind of arrangement.

It is of course dependent on where you live and the COL there, but we pay far under that rate. Child care is a crazy thing, it costs SO much, but the people who provide it don't make enough.

[mamaluvspirates]

So are you meaning a nanny will cost $15 an hour? That's reasonable, I would say. She would be focussing on your children alone, and that wage is her bread and butter. I'm not sure that I could live off of that with rent being so expensive...then groceries, etc. Personally...yes, I see that as an option available only to wealthy families, unfortunately.

Why is daycare not an option? I'm just curious.

[mysticmomma]

could you find a nanny share? a sahm?

[Funny Face]

I'm just not comfortable with putting my kids in daycare at this time.


I think that a childcare provider does deserve a fair salary... that's why I'm saying I don't think I can afford it.


I am going to look at possibly trying to find a mom who would want to bring her child or for a family friend who wants part time work but my options (that I can see at this point) are limited.

I'm a nurse and I'm going to try to get weekend night shifts which would help out some.

[Ellien C]

I think some people around here have used au pairs, where they provide room and board in exchange for a much lower rate. They are typically foreign students who come to the US for year. Someone will post about it, I'm sure.

That said, I'm must say that I'm very happy with my mid-sized child-care center. Not the snazziest, cleanest facility but we had really good care with an excellent Director.

[CatsCradle]

I'm not sure how to respond, as there are a few details missing from your post. What do you mean by "in-home" child care? Do you mean that an individual would come to your home to care for your DC (like a nanny?) or do you mean taking your DC to a home where someone cares for your DD and possibly other children? If you plan to work full-time, $15 an hour would yield the in-home caretaker more than the average licensed engineer makes in some states! I've never used in-home care, but my guess is that there would be some type of monthly arrangement you could make other than a $15 flat fee. Also, nanny-sharing is becoming quite popular because it greatly reduces childcare costs for families.

How many hours a week do you plan to have your DC in "in-home" childcare? Is "daycare" not an option because it is not available in your area or that you are against the idea?

Finally, the "cost" of mom working is a somewhat overrated theory in my opinion, especially if there is a partner/other parent in the mix. We have a "family" budget, not individual budgets. Also, I tend to eat a lot less when I'm working (mainly because I take my lunch and I tend to graze and snack when I'm at home). I spend very little on clothes and shoes every year, mostly because I tend to buy things for their longevity. DD goes full-time to a fairly expensive private school, and the way I figured your math, we pay half of what you would supposedly pay a full-time "in-home" caretaker. We're not rich by Wall Street standards, but DD's school costs end up being only a fraction of our total family income.

While wealthy people may not worry about the costs of childcare, my guess that the majority of people who utilize any type of childcare are not wealthy.

Good luck with this, it can be very stressful but there are more options out there than appear on the surface.

[mamaofthree]

i am a nurse also... can you do 12 hour shifts and nights so maybe your SO could be home with babe? dh and i do it that way, we have for years. and the kids haven't had to go to daycare. working night shift and weekends (and holidays if you don't mind doing it) pays well and you don't have to work as much.

good luck

h

[EFmom]

We used someone who did day care in her home and the costs were pretty reasonable. It was a terrific situation.

[mightymoo]

I had a coworker a long time ago who had a nanny. She made really good money (probably around $80-90K) and she told me that basically her entire take home salary went to the nanny. She did it however because her child wouldn't need a nanny forever and when that time passed her career would be that much further along, etc.

I was very anti-daycare when I had my daughter, but after deciding to go back to work I looked at a bunch and found an amazing one which was a facility in a house (not a house anyone lived in, just happened to be house) and had a great atmosphere and she was one of only two infants being cared for by one of the woman and the other infant was only part time. The owner was an amazingly warm and caring woman who would tell my daughter she loved her when I picked her up and I know she really meant it. She was constantly being held, etc. It was so wonderful that when I quit my job to stay home full time I kept her there one afternoon a week. When we moved away I honestly cried knowing she'd never remember the wonderful people there. So, what I'm saying is, you might want to look around, there may be another option that just might surprise you.

[Alyantavid]

We use a small home daycare for our kids. It's great, small enough for them to get plenty of attention, but with enough kids that they can socialize.

I think the cost of child care varies so much by area.

[GuildJenn]

Nannies here are $15+/hr too. I did have one but I was only paying her for half the number of hours I was actually working, so that's how I afforded it.

I love our daycare/Montessori and found it had a lot to recommend it - warm caring staff, a safe environment, and breaks for people when they really need them. However it isn't cheap either - about $1200 a month and it was a bit more when my son was a toddler.

Family care (in someone else's home) was the cheapest option in our area but we didn't go that route - since I didn't know a fabulous person off the bat I felt it was the riskiest combination for us, as it depended on one person to be available/not burnt-out and was not in an environment we controlled. But I know lots of people who have found great care that way.

I guess what I'm getting at is good childcare is expensive, it's not forever, and it helps to keep your mind open and really check out the actual situations and not get too wrapped up in there being only one ideal mode of childcare. But if you have flexibility in your schedule, that can be a way to ease the financial burden.

[HollyBearsMom]

No not only the "rich" can afford a nanny. It is how your prirotize you funds. Same with a big house, a new car, energy efficent appliances. If any of those thigns are a priority you might choose to not spend on something else.

We always had a nanny. Per hour it was much more exepnsive than a privately run "in home" daycare and but not too far off from a big daycare like Mulberry.

When we ran the numbers it was large % of take home pay. However there were things that helped balance it:

• we owned our cars- no car payment
• We bought a house we could afford on one salary and put down 50%
• we down sized cable, etc

Thre were other money savers too considering time is money and so is my sanity!:

• We cancelled our twice monthly cleaner and hired a nanny who agreed to do light housekeeping
• I never had to worry about snack or luches to pack (timesaver)
• Our son could wake when he wanted, sleep when he wanted. (sanity saver)
• The nanny did all his laundry, put away his clothes (time and sanity saver)
• She started many a dinner for us or even made the whole thing (time and sanity saver)

Nanny's can still work when your child is sick and they can work when you are sick. They can run errands for you.

When we balanced all that out (including the added water/gas/energy use an xtra person can add) the actual "cost" was cheaper than a private "in home" place.

So yea, even the average income worker can "afford" a nanny but like the choice to be a SAHP its about making the budget work. In some cases tho it is harder than others!

[Leta]

Some coworkers of DH went thru this. First, the finageled their schedules so the dad went in to work early and the mom went in late, so they went from needing 45 hours of child care per week to around 20. Then, they moved from daycare to having a part time nanny. They hired a shoestring relative. They had her bring her baby to their house, so it was one very competent caregiver and three kids. They paid her $11 or $12 an hour- which is very reasonable where we live. By comparison, the dad of this couple (he's in the same union as DH, so we know) makes $15/hr.

It worked out for everyone, because the nanny could work without finding childcare, increasing her take home, and the couple ended up paying less in childcare costs than they did with two kids in FT daycare. I imagine most people who work and want to bring home ANYTHING, unless they make a ridiculous amount of money, have to do something a little unconventional to make in home childcare work.

[columbusmomma]

Please check out www.care.com.
I heard about it from a momma here on mdc. I believe she recommended it for locating a nanny/caregiver.

[bobandjess99]

Here, yes, only the "rich" can afford a nany, or "in THEIR home childcare".
Much more common for the working classes in "in-home" childcare (which means in the daycare providers home) or center-based childcare, which can be secular or church-run.
I totally understand what you are saying...here, most working moms are working for minimum wage, or slightly more at retail or factory jobs, etc...when you yourself make $7/hour, obviously you can't pay your childcare provider very well. So tehre are LOTS of really cheap childcare options here. I've heard of people paying $20/day for childcare. Sometimes as low as $60-70/week. More usual is going to be $100-150 per week.
It's extremely difficult. And fo rthe most part, we're not talking about women who can afford to work just to hand over their whole aycheck to the provider..they are working for the money, thety are single moms, etc.

[Funny Face]

I was referring to having someone watch my kids in my home.

I don't know of any in home daycares right now and to be honest it just feels too risky for me.

Ds (10 months) is very high needs, very attached and I would not be comfortable putting him in day care. I would maybe send dd to daycare as she is older and more independent but still wouldn't have anyone to watch ds.

If I work days I will be leaving my home around 6:00 in the morning and not getting back until 8:00 at night. Dh works full time and is a full time student- I don't even see him during the week so my kids would be in daycare 12+ hours a day.

We do not live extravagantly and try very hard to avoid debt. I am going back to work because we need to buy a car (we don't do debt and we don't buy new fancy cars) and we need to save for a house and for our adoption. If we don't make money to save going back to work then it seems beside the point (besides the experience that I need).

Thanks for the ideas and websites, I'm definitely going to look into that.

I'm just hoping and praying something works out. I am going to try to shoot for night shifts.. hopefully on the weekends but I even worry about that because I'm trying to figure out how dh is going to night parent when he never has and doesn't seem capable so far.

[mamaofthree]

you would be surprised at what your dh can do when you are not there to do it. (at least i was with my dh) when you have to do it, you do it. lol
i hope you find what you need to make this work. if you can even work one weekend shift a week and one during the week, maybe you would only need someone once a week? that is one of the good things about nursing the hours are so flexible.

h

[Michelle Renee]

Im sure I will get flamed for this.

I pay 70 a day for a 3 year old and a 10 month old. I give a prepaid mastercard for expenses from time to time. We also provide her with a cell phone and when possible (and required for running errands that are far) the use of our car.

Its what I can afford and the young lady working for us is happy with it. She is making more than her mother does who is a pharmacy tech. She is making more with us then she did at her last nanny job.

I wish we could afford more and I wish I could afford someone with education in early childhood but N is good with our girls and helps keep my head above water - I really appreciate her. Her salary is a HUGE sacrifice for our family. Especially now my husband was laid off - we are scared we will lose her.


She does everything - both of my girls have mild special needs - she takes them to physical and occupational therapy, calls in prescriptions, takes the 3 year old to preschool, makes appointments for me, helps me find my keys when I lose them, and sends pictures of my kids on her cell phone on my lunch. I adore her.

We have struggles from time to time because I am demanding and a pain in the butt and she has a tendency to get the blahs and sit on the couch too much and -but in the end we have found a nice working relationship.

We are the only income she has and she manages to make it.

[katelove]

Originally Posted by Funny Face

I'm a nurse and I'm going to try to get weekend night shifts which would help out some.

A friend of mine who was also a nurse used to do nights. She had a couple of young women (one was the daughter of a friend, the other was a student nurse) who would come and sleep the night. She didn't need to pay them as much because they spent most of the night asleep and it didn't interfere with their activities during the day.

She would take her children to school when she got home and then sleep while they were at school. She would also usually have another nap after they went to bed.

Maybe something like that could work in your situation?