What's the best way to bring up....

[Carter'sMummy]

religious beliefs in a new relationship? How do you ask and share your beliefs with someone?

i ask because i'm slowly moving forward from a friendship with a old, close friend into a committed relationship, but beliefs havent really been brought up to my memory. im still learning myself of what i believe, and ive made alot of mistakes so im ashamed to even say i have faith in that manner but i would like to change and move forward in a more faith based life, especially with him, he makes me want to be a better person, but how do i casually bring it up..religion and faith is taboo in my family so im very,very.very shy about it

thank you for any suggestions mama's

[doubledutch]

i think the easiest would be, "do you believe in god?" and let the conversation wander down more specific paths from there. it's also okay to say, "growing up, we never talked about religion or what we believed, so it's not easy for me to be open about this, but it's important to me that we talk about it." or something

[cappuccinosmom]

I would do it immediately and directly. And I'm shy too.

To me these things are so important, I would want to know long before my heart and emotions got involved enough to tempt me to compromise my beliefs in order to keep a relationship.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom

I would do it immediately and directly.

Same here. That goes for platonic friends as well as romantic ones. I've been the victim of religious bigotry in the past, after thinking someone was a cool, new friend. She dropped me like a hot potato when she discovered that we were polar opposites on the faith scale. And her kids and my kids were getting along wonderfully, too.

I said I'd never get into that situation again. It took me by surprise and was very upsetting to me and my children.

[pants]

I would ask what church he/she attends. At least give you an idea on what type of church or temple they attend and their view of God all in one question. And I don't think it sounds to pushy at all.

But I would do it immediately also before you get your heart involved.

[Tradd]

With me it comes up at the beginning. The VERY beginning. I don't even consider dating someone if they're not Orthodox as I am, or Roman Catholic in a pinch.

[theretohere]

Originally Posted by Tradd

With me it comes up at the beginning. The VERY beginning. I don't even consider dating someone if they're not Orthodox as I am, or Roman Catholic in a pinch.

I agree. I'm not dating anymore, I'm married, but I wouldn't date outside my faith.

[lilyka]

As a general rule this is something I want to know about a guy long before we start dating.

In my case its usually "So do you go to church anywhere?"