I'm in nap hell...please help!

[crazeydazey]

Yup, we are a cosleeping and nursing family of an 11 month old lovable little boy. I can certainly relate to those of you struggling with no night-time sleep, as my guy was also doing the constant waking and nursing. Just recently i started to do some mellow night weaning and now he goes until midnight and then until 5:50 or 6:00am without nursing. He does still wake up, though, and needs me to soothe him back to sleep. The reason for this background is that I am feeling as though this all has added to my horrible struggle with napping...

We used to put him down in the crib, our bed, the pack and play, and sling him interchangeably and he was always fine sleeping anywhere. We mistakenly congratulated ourselves believing that we had avoided future issues with him sleeping in the crib by doing this. Urgh. A few months ago he began having issues in the crib and i gave in and just brought him to our bed to nap, worked nap into my errands and sat in the car, or if I wanted to get some air and work outside, in the stroller. BIG MISTAKE! I am now not able to get him to nap UNLESS he is in the stroller or car, even by nursing.

My stress around this is magnified because I have to work a few days per week and so he has a nanny taking care of him - so if its not bad enough that I am totally frustrated and feel like a failure for creating a situation that is upsetting to everyone (including my son), now other's see and experience this struggle and i feel embarrased and guilty. I'm assuming his inability to sleep without me there is due to our cosleeping. I try to get him to take to a lovey, but its not working.

so after reading books and asking around for ideas, i have resolved myself to trying a form of CIO, which i never wanted to do As a last resort, i am puttng him in the crib and staying there on the floor, talking to him periodically to calm him and continually laying him back down in the crib. Of course, during this time he is crying and my heart is breaking. When he finally does fall asleep, he only stays asleep up to 20 or 30 minutes, wakes up screaming and I then give up because he has been upset so long. He is so exhausted that he falls down and is super clingy afterwards. It definitly does not have to do with him not being tired...

As many times as I have read about issues with night-time, i never seem to find anything about others' having problems with naps. Am I alone in this?!?!? Please, any support or ideas would be so much appreciated.

[lisavark]

No, you're not alone at all! My DD has always been a horrible napper as well as a terrible nighttime sleeper.

How many naps does your DS take? At 11 months, he might be transitioning to one nap if he's still on two. Mine went down to one nap around then, and it was absolutely horrible until I gave up on the morning nap. Then the afternoon nap was really reliable for a while. (Now, of course, at 20 months she's trying to give that up...but that's another story. )

Sorry that's my only idea...I'm not the person to give sleep advice! But dropping naps is the only thing that's ever helped my DD with falling asleep for the next sleep time. If that is it, he probably will be tired for a while as he adjusts.

[corrie_cat]

Sorry this is so hard I've been struggling with this, too. I think I put 200 miles on the car last week driving my 8mo DD around! Naps involve either the carrier, swing, or car. She's generally only been taking 30-45 minute naps and they really need to be longer for her to be rested between naps. I decided to try to put her back in her crib (co-sleeper with a bolster between it and the bed) to shoot for longer "motionless" naps, starting today. It worked!! I nursed her to sleep, then transferred her to the cosleeper. She babbled quietly for about 15 minutes, with a few isolated cries in there, then fell asleep for an hour.

I wonder if you could nurse your son into a quiet state, then put him in his crib. I've been struggling with CIO too, and am solidifying for myself, once again, that it's just not right (for me). I'm sure it works. I just don't think it works for the reasons people think it does.

Other ideas... are you catching him before he gets really tired? Yawning and eye rubbing are late signs of tiredness. If he gets sleepy around the same times every day, try to pre-empt him.

Good luck!!!

[lifeguard]

Could you just bring the stroller inside for naps?

[crazeydazey]

thanks for the support and ideas! I thought about him maybe going down to 1 nap - though I think he is tired enough for 2 (and does fall asleep in car for 2...) I have held him off till after lunch so he is soooo tired he is falling asleep in the highchair. This was the first time that I made him stay in the crib, (with me never leaving cribside of course!) and it was a long struggle even then -- I couldn't believe it! If it were me, i would not have been able to persevere - he is incredibly stubborn:-) The next time I went for the crib, it was less traumatic, but still....

The last 2 nights I did nurse to sleep and transitioned him half-asleep into the crib and it did work. I sit in there on the floor and am able to hop up quickly when he sits up and lay him right back down and he has fallen back to sleep. Last night this worked about 4 times within 90 min and then he just wouldn't fall for it any more, so I brought him to our bed with me. I think i will continue the night time crib, in the hopes that he will get used to it at that time and it will transition into daytime naps. I will also see if holding him off to 1 nap a day will help.

For the next child, i will definitely work on this BEFORE he has the ability to stand and walk!!! If he would just stay down on the mattress, I don't think he could help himself but fall asleep..lol...

RE: Catching him before he is tired: I just read The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program by Polly Moore - not a cure-all, by any means, but was helpful in giving me something else to try. Her premis is that babies under 1 year have a natural 90 minute alert cycle and that if you time when s/he wakes up and add 75 minutes, this is the time to begin the wind-down for naps. According to her, if you miss the window, this explains the second wind and you can pretty much forget getting the babe down until the next 90 minutes are over. If you are nearly one year like we are, the alert cycle is not as pronounced and may not be reliable, but for anyone with an infant, i would recommend it as i think it would be helpful.

Re: stroller in the house. Yup, i probubly could do this, but i don't think it will help get us closer to him sleeping in the crib. I have also got holidays coming up where we will be sleeping in other homes and i am really praying that he will be able to do pack and play naps during the day at their homes (mattresses on the floor is out of the question at relatives...)

Again, thank you for the support and ideas. I am so glad to know i am not alone in this struggle!