And god forbid the spouse on the "outside" wants circ or vax or whatever else.
That has nothing to do with being the gatekeeper. I'd no more allow my spouse to circumcise my son than circumcise my daughter or cut off any other body part. Vax? We'd talk about vax. We do talk about vax. We compromise on vax. There is no compromise on circ. Anybody who wants to cut healthy parts off my baby's body is going to do it over my dead body. Nobody would call me a "gatekeeper" if my husband wanted to cut off the baby's finger and I stopped him. What's the difference?
ETA: I'm also all for it if any dad stops his wife from circing their son. It has nothing to do with the gender of the parent who wants to cut.