tell me I'm not crazy...

[dakotablue]

I really really liked the ped we met for my sons first appointment.and in truth mostly liked the ped I met today. my 4 week old has reflux (which I came in knowing) when he mentioned sleep he said to put my son in the car seat, which I had read NEVER to do since babies as young as him can slouch obstruct their airway. I said I cosleep...He told me that co sleeping was every peds worse nightmare and with a healthy child like mine I am the greatest risk to his life. I started to argue about how crib death occurs more often than cosleeping deaths. he just said no, not true...but I thought it was? now dh is questioning my decision to cosleep.

please help...I'm not insane right? I'm not going to kill my son... any articles would be awesome. I feel like such a bad mommy....

[Super~Single~Mama]

Tell your dh that most of the world co-sleeps with their baby's, and that the leading cause of death in other countries is NOT SIDS. Also, Dr. Sears Nighttime parenting book is supposed to be good - but I've only read his big "The Baby Book" which is also awesome.

I'm sorry your ped said that to you! Keep following your instincts! If it makes you feel any better my BF was completely against co-sleeping at first, and then this morning we were talking while Lincoln was still sleeping, and he said, "He's always going to sleep with us." I said, "no, he'll sleep in his own bed when he's ready", and BF said, "But I WANT him to sleep with us forever" (he even had a sad, sentimental look on his face as though he was thinking about Lincoln being all grown up - it was so adorable!)

[rzberrymom]

If it were me, I would get a new pediatrician pronto! Yeesh!

Here are some thoughts from Dr. Sears (although, I sometimes hesitate with him because he seems to spend so much time trying to sell people that Arms Reach Co-Sleeper!)

And here are some safety tips.

And Dr. James McKenna is the guru of co-sleeping research--you can find tons of interesting articles and scientific studies on his website.

Good luck mama!

[KermitII63]

You're not crazy!

I've been cosleeping since my son was born--he sleeps on his side up against me and I honestly believe that is the absolute safest place in the world for him. Mamas and babies have been sleeping up against one another for thousands of years--our bodies are tuned in to one another's needs when we sleep together in a way that's impossible to replicate when we're separated. My favorite time of the day is when my little baby snuggles up against me right before we go to sleep...I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Louisep]

Terrible pediatrician. I recently had to leave my lovely pediatrician behind when we moved but she recommended co-sleeping and had done so with her own children when they could not sleep. The ped we saw in hospital and for a couple of visits after birth also was very pro co-sleeping and did so with her children.

[LeahG]

You are not crazy, our DD had really bad silent reflux, in fact at 27 months still has it. She only ever slept with us or in a sling. Reflux babies also prefer sleeping on their tummies (so we bought a breathing monitor for the few times she slept alone). I just made absolutely sure that she couldn't suffocate or get trapped on anything.

The other thing we learnt really quickly is that car seats make reflux MUCH worse and are the WORST things for reflux babies. The car seat puts their tummies in a terrible position and causes them a lot of pain.

I left our first pedi as he didn't know what he was doing. The best thing you can do is to trust your instincts and find a pedi you trust.

[InMediasRes]

When I talked to my ped about co-sleeping she said, "Cool. Let's talk bed safety."

They both went to med school, so which ped is right?

Our Babies, Ourselves is a great book with lots of studies about co-sleeping (I think written by Meredith Small). She talks a lot about Japan where co-sleeping is normal, but the SIDS risk is much lower than the US.

[JMJ]

You won't roll onto your baby, but it would be wise to make sure that your bed is a safe place for him. As best as I can understand, that's the only reason why pediatricians can dislike cosleeping. They can understand how a baby could get caught between the headboard and the mattress. They can understand how a baby could fall off the bed. They can understand how a baby could get smothered by blankets. They can understand how baby's face could get caught in a dip in a waterbed. They could understand how a parent could roll on top of a baby (even though this only happens when parents are under the influence or have medical conditions that inhibit normal sleep). They can't understand how a baby in an approved crib with no toys, blankets, or bottles could just stop breathing, but the truth is that a baby in a crib in his own room is much more likely to do just that than a baby cuddled up to Mom in her bed. Take some steps to eliminate the risks of an adult bed so that you can safely sleep with your baby, and then don't worry about it.

[aksign]

the "study" that made the biggest impact on my thinking was an informal one that dr. sears did in the baby book- talking about hight blood oxygen levels in co sleeping babies. I also like the discussion of how you cant have growth hormone released at the same time as stress hormone, and that was my main concern when ds was a newborn- i just wanted his brain and body to develop and be nourished. Providing a situation where good sleep cycles can happen seems like the best plan? how much growing can go on when sleep is interrupted all the time or not as sound to begin with?

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by SactoMommy

Our Babies, Ourselves is a great book with lots of studies about co-sleeping (I think written by Meredith Small). She talks a lot about Japan where co-sleeping is normal, but the SIDS risk is much lower than the US.

I really, really, really liked this book. It's an easy read and has lots of great info that will surprise you! I highly recommend getting a copy out of your local library, even if you only read the chapter on sleep. Small compares the way different cultures view infant sleep (and, for that matter, adult sleep). She cites McKenna at length to explain why sleeping next to mom is evolutionarily designed to be the safest way for baby humans to sleep (just like it is for most other baby mammals).

I was scared by all the anti-bedsharing propoganda, too, but reading that book made me feel much more confident in my ability to safely share a bed with my infant. And she's a MUCH happier baby as a result!

[dakotablue]

Thank you all SO much. I don't think its the pediatric groups policy on co sleeping, but I'm not sure.

I had such a hard time find a pediatrician to begin with that would be ok with my delay vaccines..I'm not sure I have to energy to find another. But I will admit the ped didn't mention anything about diet changes for me and his reflux, even though I found a defiant correlation between dairy (which I'm just going to take care of on my own, but If I wasn't an informed parent...

Dh is back on my side about this. Thank you all for being there when I questioned myself. It's nice to have support when your a 'radical' breastfeeding co sleeping and all!

I will try to find that book and I put in at the library for Dr. Sears sleep book too.