So much has happened - Page 2

[GradysMom]

regarding immunity - seeing as how my family just picked this habit back up, cod liver oil.... could you put a few drops in the bottles you make up at home - given the whole flu thing the immune support could be tremendous for your babe

[puddleduck]

don't beat yourself up, you fed her for what 6-8 weeks? thats more than most babies get. be kind to yourself.

[Talula Fairie]

Originally Posted by puddleduck

don't beat yourself up, you fed her for what 6-8 weeks? thats more than most babies get. be kind to yourself.

Almost 9 weeks I think.

It's just hard...I mean, I breastfed #1 until 15 months, through nine months of pregnancy with her sister. I breastfed #2 for 2.5 years. I wish I could have done that with this baby

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

Talula, I have to commend you on being so strong and getting through this rough period in your life. I'm sorry about you falling out with your friend too, any chance that with some time you can be friends again?

[Talula Fairie]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

Talula, I have to commend you on being so strong and getting through this rough period in your life. I'm sorry about you falling out with your friend too, any chance that with some time you can be friends again?

I don't think so. While I'd appreciate an apology from her, what she did was such a betrayal of trust that I'd never be able to let her 'in' again.

[redpajama]

Originally Posted by texaspeach

I am proud of you for taking care of yourself lindsay.

[Mamatoabunch]

I am so sorry you have had a difficult time. But taking care of yourself is top priority. I don't have a full supply, just drops a day and my babies have had many milk mamas on MilkShare. I'm a stalker there, LOL. Finnian has had a continuous donor, despite donors being few and far between here. Good luck!

[mama*pisces]

I'm so sorry Lindsay. I know I would feel tremendously sad if I couldn't breastfeed, and to have someone that you trusted betray you like that in the midst of your difficult postpartum period...ugh, 'that sucks' doesn't even cover it.

I actually haven't talked to my MIL since DD was 5 days old. She was also staying with us in order to help, blew up at me over an issue concerning DS, left(while I was still in pain recovering from a c-section), and we haven't spoken since...and we used to have what I thought was a really great relationship. NOT anymore. DH had to work, so we actually had to call one of DH's co-worker's mom, a really nice lady that DH knew but that I had never met before, and she came for a couple of days to help me out with ds and stuff, and then my mom flew in two days later. I'm not going to go into what the issue was about, but I totally get that feeling of betrayal and I KNOW my relationship with my MIL will never be the same again. I would really rather not talk to her at all, but she is my DH's mother and my kids' grandmother, AND she lives like 10 minutes away, so I guess I don't have much choice.

But anyway...just wanted to say I understand, at least a little, and that I am also proud of you for taking care of yourself, even though I know that wasn't an easy choice to make. Hang in there mama. Hopefully you can get donated milk, and even if you can't, that isn't the only way to bond with your baby. I think you're doing a great job.

[puddleduck]

Originally Posted by Talula Fairie

Almost 9 weeks I think.

It's just hard...I mean, I breastfed #1 until 15 months, through nine months of pregnancy with her sister. I breastfed #2 for 2.5 years. I wish I could have done that with this baby

it's a shame we don't live in the 'ideal tribe', then your friends, sisters, cousins and aunts could feed your baby for you.

be confident in your decision and don't let anyone question you, and if someone has a problem with it, then they can shove it.

your baby will thrive on the love you give her and you will make up for the limited breastfeeding time in many other ways.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Truckerdoo]

Originally Posted by momoftworedheads

For starters, could mamas send you milk? So many people have oversupply and pump for milk banks. I think that given your circumstances, maybe you could start a site and get donations for the shipping? Or start local and expand? Just thoughts here.

Crashing this conversation and was wondering about this point. Is this sanitary/hygenic? Do people really do this? Is the milk tested or screened or something?

[Flower of Bliss]

I'm sorry you've had such a rough transition with your new little one. Mothering is hard. Each decision is about balancing the needs of each member in the family. As hard as it must have been to give up nursing your DD, you definitely made the right decision

I can't imagine dealing with the turmoil of losing a close friend in the midst of postpartum recovery and then having to give up BF To go through all of that while also trying to find the right bi-polar medications sounds so rough.

Sending love and light. I hope with the new medication and some distance from the other difficulties, that things will start to look up for you and your family.

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Truckerdoo

Crashing this conversation and was wondering about this point. Is this sanitary/hygenic? Do people really do this? Is the milk tested or screened or something?

The milk I donate is given directly to another baby. I pump and freeeze the milk and then she picks it up every 2 weeks or so. We didn't test or screen anything. She just trusted that I was fully tested for communicable diseases while pregnant and that I wouldn't BF my own child if my milk wasn't safe. We've never had a problem doing it this way.

However, some people do choose to pay for a medical exam for the donating mother to make sure she's healthy and not on drugs or anything.

It's not cost effective to go through a milk bank where they can pasteurize and screen the milk. It ends up costing as much as $3 per oz!

[Mamabeakley]

Although I think you could kill most any germs by boiling the milk, that would also "kill" the milk's live active good stuff - still better than formula, but . . .

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by Truckerdoo

Crashing this conversation and was wondering about this point. Is this sanitary/hygenic? Do people really do this? Is the milk tested or screened or something?

We do. I pray and trust my gut. The milk is not tested, I have only asked for records from one mom. If a mama is feeding her wee one her milk I feel it is good for my baby as well. We have been incredibly blessed by all our milk mamas!

[wombatclay]

Big hugs... bipolar runs in my family too and having grown up with parents who didn't medicate/didn't proactively manage their own mental health I second the sentiment that what you are doing is a huge gift to your family! I completely understand the sense of guilt/loss (as a doula and extremely outspoken natural birth advocate who then had a c/s, ppd, and ptsd and had to face all the "I told you so" and "you just didn't do X" comments). Give yourself permission to really grieve the loss and process it, you deserve the time and space to find a new balance.

I know it can be hard to find milk... I'm glad your LLL group has a list. You might also contact doulas, LCs, or pedatric care providers to see if they have similar lists or would let you post flyers. But you're right... it's hard to find a donor. I've donated for years and even in my very small town it seems like there are a dozen in need for every one donor. I wish we lived closer because I'd be happy to donor you!

Hang in there and keep taking care of yourself! Like the flight attendants say, you have to get your own mask in place before you can help your kiddos.