Whose responsible for homework?

[HollyBearsMom]

My husband and I have a difference of opinion so I thought some other school going parents could weigh in!

Our son is 8 and in the second grade. He has homework most nights. One math sheet and one literacy/fluency/reading assignment. He occasionally has something else (draw picture, bring in a photo from home). None of it is major and start to finish it takes maybe 15-20 min tops. Weekends involve reading assignments for each day (Fri/Sat/Sun) and are mostly fun early chapter books. Again no more than 15 minutes each day.

It should be noted that each child has a school “day planner” where they write down their assignments. They also have color folders for each homework topic- i.e.: math links, literacy/fluency. You can just look in the back pack and know if there is homework and what it is by the folder color.

opinion 1: Homework that helps build on what is learned in the classroom is nice but not necessary. If it gets done great but nothing to stress over. Therefore it is the students responsibility to remember, complete and turn in the work. Homework should be student led. The parents job is to support the student if they need help, have questions etc but not to remind, cajole or otherwise nag about getting it done. Parents should provide a good study environments (lots of light, all the tools needed, a good work space etc) but it is the students job to take advantage of that space.

Opinion 2: Homework reinforces what is learned in class and is a small but important part of the educational experience. Lower school is a time when good study habits are learned and when you build organizational and time management skills. Parents need to be actively involved in the process. For example: scheduling home work time they way other activities are scheduled (i.e.: playdate from 3-4, home work 4:30-5:00, hockey 6-7, bedtime 8), going thru the child’s backpack, identifying what needs to be done. Reminding them when it is time, working with them while doing it, reviewing for accuracy and making sure that it is organized and put back in the back pack.

So what are your thoughts? Are both too extreme? Do you think there is a middle ground? How do you handle it in your family??

[Ruthla]

By third grade, I go for option one. It's the student's responsibility to get the work done, and the student who will face the consequences the next day if it's not completed.

Parents certainly can and should help their children by setting up a good place to do homework, giving verbal reminders "Do you have any homework today?" then later "Did you finish your homework?"

There is absolutely NO need to "review for accuracy." If the child makes a mistake in the homework, let the teacher see the mistakes so s/he knows the child needs more review on the topic. IMO, if parents need to "work with them while they do it" then the homework is too hard. Children might want company, but they should be able to do the work independently.

I personally think that homework is basically a waste of time in the lower grades, and that they still give too much in the upper grades. But if the emphasis is on "learning good study habits" then shouldn't the child need to do the work him or herself? How can a child learn "good study habits" if Mom or Dad is the one doing the organization?

Of course, all children mature at different rates, and some kids might need more help organizing themselves than others. Some kids need a parent to go through each item in the backpack and make sure no homework is forgotten, and they may need to be told "you have to do your homework now." But if you have to sit with your child and explain how to do the work, and this lasts more than the first few weeks of the school year, then the child isn't ready for the kind of work being assigned.

[elizawill]

i think it depends on the child and whether or not they are motivated and mature enough to be self-led in 2nd grade. my kids still need reminders with brushing teeth and bath time, so i imagine that homework would require the same thing. my dd is 8 and in second grade. we homeschool, but i imagine if we didn't, i would still help with homework. i would review it still as well. if they had a lot of mistakes, i would want to be aware of that.

[EFmom]

Personally, I think homework is detrimental if you don't review for accuracy, particularly in the lower grades. Actually, I think it's detrimental, period, but that's a different thread.

But my 4th grader will come home with math worksheets allegedly designed to "reinforce" what's taught in class. Sometimes that's true and sometimes the concepts are barely covered in class and the real expectation is that the parents are teaching the kids math.

If I don't review it, bad things happen. If dd gets a math worksheet with 20 problems "reinforcing" the same concept, and she didn't understand it correctly or was never taught it, her misunderstanding is thoroughly reinforced and it's much more difficult for her to learn the math the right way.

"Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out." - Cardinal Wolsey

[Alyantavid]

Well in our house, it's my 7 year old's responsibility. He knows if he has homework or not and he knows that it must be done. And he does it, on his own. I do check it and I always stay in the room with him in case he needs help.

[Linda on the move]

I think it really depends on the child and there are more factors than just age. The goal should be moving toward independance, but some kids will need more help getting there than others.

The amount of work my kids get varies a great deal from day to day, so I ask on the way home how much they have and if they need anything from me. A typical answer is "about 1/2 hour and no". Then it is up to them. About an hour before bedtime, I'll ask if they have everything done or if they need any help. They are to organize their backpacks before they go to bed, and usually do so without any reminding.

I'm always available to help, offer moral support, or check over my kids' work, but I don't do it unless they ask me to. Sometimes my 10 year old has trouble focusing on things she doesn't like, so she'll ask me to sit with her while she does them. Or my 13 year old will do most of her math but skip a couple of problems that stumped her and she'll ask me to help her figure them out. We are some where in between me walking them through it step by step and the other extreme just leaving them to fend for themselves.

My kids homeschooled when they were young and when they first started school they needed help with a lot of their homework because it was just different. They've gradually gotten quite good at handling it pretty much on their own.

I think that reviewing for accuracy really depends on the child and the subject. When one of my DDs started school, she had a hard time transitioning to the math program and I checked every math problem for a while. It gave us time to go over things one-on-one that she didn't get. It was a tutoring session. I don't do that now because it would just be pushing perfectionism. Now she's got the hang of it.

I think the trick is to provide support for kids to develop their independance. If we do too much, we send the message that the child's best isn't good enough, that only perfection is good enough.

[ollyoxenfree]

I tend to help with the organizational aspects. I wouldn't expect an 8 y.o. to keep track of other responsibilities just because they appear semi-regularly on the schedule - e.g. it's Tuesday, you have swimming tonight/hockey is at 7:30 a.m. Sunday this week/there's an extra dance rehearsal on Thursday this week/we're having dinner with Gran on Monday...

In the primary grades, that meant checking the agenda to see what homework was assigned, giving reminders, and depending on the homework, checking it. As they grew into these responsibilities, I stopped. Now that they are teens, if I ask about homework, it's because I don't want to schedule a conflict if they have a big project to work on, or need to meet with project partners or they are studying for mid-term exams.

I like to look at homework so I know what is happening in class, and whether the child is understanding. That never felt onerous to me, though. I like being involved in my children's education. It's always been their responsibility to do it though.

[SunshineJ]

My personal opinion of homework notwithstanding, I think both are a little extreme for an 8 yr old. What I would find appropriate for our house is to let the child have about a 15 min wind down once they come home, and then ask if they have homework. If they do, but choose not to do it then, fine. However, they will be reminded of it before bed with the expectation that it will be done. I won't nag or cajole, it is just "expected" to be done like brushing your teeth. *I* can't always remember things I need to get done, I don't expect my children to never need a reminder as well. I do think the parent should be on hand to assist with questions, etc., but I'll admit I'm getting tired of receiving homework for my child that's really *my* homework!

[Ellie'sMom]

Option 1 seems like a setup for lots of stress for a kid that age. They are looking to adults for cues as to what is important, and if the cues they get from parents are significantly different from the cues they are getting at school, I think that could be very stressful.

In my house I help my 7 year old 2nd grader by creating time and space for her to work. She comes home from school, plays and has a snack and at some point I tell her it is time to sit down and do her work. I typically set out her "homework box" (pencils, markers, scissors, ruler, etc.) and her binder and she comes in and gets down to it. If she has a heavy load that night she will often ask to take a break after the first bit. I would say we have a routine, but not a schedule, per se. I am stricter on the days that she has after school activities later in the day. I always check her homework and we go over anything she has had a problem with. Sometimes I have to work to get her to sit down, but she is a kid who really enjoys school. If it was constant power struggle and I really didn't feel the homework was important, then I might re-evaluate the decision to put her in a school where daily homework is an expectation.

I am not sold on the value of homework, but we made the decision to send dd to public school and thus, I feel bound to play by the rules. Life is going to be full of irritating things that I may not value, but that just have to get done. I want to teach dd how to negotiate those things in a way that allows her to still have time to live the rest of her life. I am a big procrastinator and I am hoping not to pass that on. I should add that I was raised by my single-parent mom, who didn't do much homework checking simply because she didn't have time. I always felt I missed out on that time. I enjoy going over homework with dd and I think she does too.

[cedoreilly]

Totally depends on the kids. With my DS1, I just remind him to sit down and do it and look over it when he is done. With DD (who is DS1's twin), I have to sit down with her and walk her through doing it. Often times I am reteaching again stuff that was taught in school. Even when she can totally do it herself, she wants me sitting there as moral support telling her that she is doing it right (she is a perfectionist). I also will modify the homework as needed if it is taking her too long (She has an IEP and the teacher has told me this is OK).

[sunnmama]

Our elementary school officially has an Option #1 policy (except for hw being not necessary). When dd was in 2nd grade, she brought home a "Homework without tears" paper that outlined the school's philosophy:

1. provide a quiet space, be there to help if needed, but let the homework be the child's job and responsibility.
2. Do not battle homework with your child.
3. If there is an issue, let the teacher handle it.

They do ask us to initial the planner next to the homework assignment. I will leave notes in there for the teacher if homework was an issue. I do check the homework for understanding and errors, but will not battle my dc if she resists correcting the errors (or insists she is right!). I will make a note for the teacher.

Originally Posted by EFmom

But my 4th grader will come home with math worksheets allegedly designed to "reinforce" what's taught in class. Sometimes that's true and sometimes the concepts are barely covered in class and the real expectation is that the parents are teaching the kids math.

If I don't review it, bad things happen. If dd gets a math worksheet with 20 problems "reinforcing" the same concept, and she didn't understand it correctly or was never taught it, her misunderstanding is thoroughly reinforced and it's much more difficult for her to learn the math the right way.

Dd, 3rd grade, occasionally brings home work she doesn't fully understand. Sometimes we don't understand it, either....like the "math mountain" assignment she had recently. WTH?.

The thing is, we used to homeschool, so I know all too well that my dc doesn't accept math lessons graciously from me . If she is willing to work with me, we sometimes do. But usually she gets really upset when this happens, and then I just make a note for the teacher. So far, that has always resulted in dd coming home happy the next day, with a much better understanding of the assignment.

[velochic]

Like anything else, I think it's a process. You go from having to get out the homework, sit with them, put it back in the backpack... to eventually not even having to remind them. In the early years it establishes a solid foundation when the parents are involved. Even if that means you sit with them in 1st and 2nd grade and read a book as they are working on their homework. They have ready access for help and often need it at that age. As they get older, there needs to be less and less supervision and reminders. I don't think it's a black and white issue. And I am VERY MUCH in support of homework. I think it's a productive and reinforcing tool for education. That being said, dd is in private one-way language immersion school and the homework is always meaningful and reinforcing of the language even outside of school.

[JStrand]

I think that until 3rd grade, parents are responsible for the child getting their homework done. After that, the parents should ask "Do you have any homework" and if yes, then they have to do it. Of course, offering help when needed or on bigger projects. By 4th grade, a child should be learning responsibility and they may need some reminding sometimes but for the most part, it becomes up to them.

[karne]

I guess we're a little different here. I do consider it my responsibility to create the space for homework to be done, and I do monitor whether the homework is finished, as well as what's come home from school. As the kids get older I find that the content and expectations of homework are increased, and I feel more like I need to be aware of what's going on. I don't "do" the homework with my kids, except for our nightly reading aloud. But I do consider myself knowledgeable and aware of the expectations. I have not yet had a teacher say that this wasn't ok-in fact, usually the opposite, to be frank.

[LaLaLaLa]

The philosophy my parents always had, and one I will have when my kids have homework is: if the homework is getting done without parental involvement, parents won't get involved. If, however, the homework isn't getting done, then the parents will step in and make changes.

This meant that throughout school, up through high school, I did my homework sitting on my bed with the television AND the radio on. I was an A student and my parents never had any idea of what my homework was.

My brother, from time to time, ended up sitting at the kitchen table during designated hours, doing his homework with my parents' supervision. I remember when he was a freshman in high school, my mom actually read "A Tale of Two Cities" out loud to him and then they discussed it together. My mom cried. It's one of her favorite books.

Anyway, I will definitely give my kids the message that I value their homework and support their teacher. If they need my help in getting organized to get it done, I'll be there. If they would rather do their homework independently, I will allow that as long as it is getting done.

[EXOLAX]

We're option #1 here, but I think much of it has to do with the child, patterns setup from previous years and the schools expectations. Just because we do it that way doesn't mean I would recommend it for everyone else. It more or less just happened that way for us: DD takes responsibility and gets it done on her own, not even necessarily in the space provided.

We don't check her work either, but that's because she needed reinforcement on her self-check skills. We stopped checking in 2nd grade when she was 7 and informed the teacher of this, the teacher then made it a global class rule as she wanted to see what the children may be struggling with. Now at 8 in 3rd DD does it all herself with us around and will ask for help if she needs it. We also don't initiate spelling word review or anything else, sometimes she asks but most of the time she doesn't. She does well in school though, if she was struggling with something I would step in and offer more direction.

I do peek at her homework occasionally just to see what types of things she's working on. I like to try to reinforce concepts at home and she isn't much of a talker. Homework is a good way to get that info.