Travel at 38wks, WWYD?

[BCattS]

Ok y'all. Need a little "If I were you..." love.

BIL is getting married over Thanksgiving weekend, date chosen before this baby (dd#2) was conceived. The wedding is a big dang deal, Catholic cathedral downtown, very, very fancy reception-- it's all a mind-blowingly expensive production.

DH is best man, DD is flower girl, I am supposed to read scripture.

Wedding is in Indianapolis, 5 hours away. Plan is to drive. Will be gone Wed- Sun.

I will be "officially" 38 wks on the day we drive home. Midwives all have said I have the green light as long as I pick a "just in case" hospital in Indy and carry my records with me (I have ITP). Tons of family in the Indy area, my own parents are 40 minutes outside of Indy and are coming to the wedding, support is not an issue.

Issues are:

I want to VBAC. Need to figure out which hospital will let me do that in Indy, if any. And I want to deliver with one of the nurse-midwives in the practice I'm currently with. Feel like my chance of C-section skyrockets when I leave my comfort zone.

If I have this baby up there, I will be stuck in my parents' house (or GOD FORBID my IL's house) for however long before we can make the trip back home. If I have another c-section, that could be a big chunk of time. My parents are lovely but that would still be very stressful for all of us.

IF I stay home, my parents would come down to TN to stay with me while DH and DD head North to be a part of BIL's big day. Which means my IL's will be the "other parent" for 4 days and that makes me quite anxious which is a much longer and much different post/ issue.

On one hand, I don't want to miss the wedding. I LOVE DH's extended family, and we usually only get to see them at their HUGE family Christmas, which we will be skipping this year as it is 4 days after my due date.

On the other hand, I'm not exactly feelin' the travel bug or the staying-with-my-ILs bug (OMG the smothering) or the general big-event bug. Part of me is just hoping for a midwife to tell me NO, I think. DH is cool with whatever I decide to do... just wish I knew.

Help a girl out?

[evinmom]

That's a hard situation. I think you really need to figure out what would make you most comfortable. Try to block out all the obligations/expectations when making this decision. What are the chances you'll go into labor that early? How comfortable would you be at the ceremony/reception?

I'm 35w3d pregnant today, and I can say with certainty I am already in no position to travel 5 hours and attend a huge wedding celebration. I'm very uncomfortable already and the idea of sitting in a car that long and then having to dress up and attend a function is not my idea of a good time at the moment. Even if it's for someone I love dearly. I can't even imagine doing it 1.5-2 weeks from now. For me I wouldn't worry so much about going into labor on the trip, just about being miserable physically. But that's just me.

Good luck with your decision!

[ithappened]

mm I'd go... but then, this is my first and Im playing the naive card as much as possible..

[bethanyclaire]

That is tough!! I think I would go, mostly because I would feel badly if I missed it and didn't even try to get there.

That said, I think your situation (wanting a VBAC) makes it tougher. When did you go into labor with your last (if the c-section wasn't scheduled...)? If you tend to have earlier labor I'd be inclined to stay home. If you went at or over 40 weeks then that would make me feel better about going, personally.

I wish you luck mama! Tough choice!!!

[earth-mama]

I didn't go into labor until I was almost 42 weeks. Do you think it is likely that you will go into labor before 40 weeks? When I was pregnant we decided not to go to my IL for Thanksgiving--my due date wasn't until 1/09/09, but I was already uncomfortable in the car even though I felt pretty good over all. I just couldn't imagine how long a 7 hour car ride would be with me having to stop every couple hours to tinkle.

Also, I was student teaching at the time and did not want any more stress.

I agree with evinmom, that you need to weigh all the issues, but focus on making sure your birth and immediate postpartum period are comfortable, safe, and loving.

If it was me I would stay home, rather than risk delivering a baby in an uncomfortable environment.

Good luck with your decision and here are some to help you.


Partner to (7 years) Mother to Lily (9 months) 2 and 1

[jamie79]

I'd go, just take it easy as much as possible and know your options before you go.

[Brisen]

Originally Posted by earth-mama

If it was me I would stay home, rather than risk delivering a baby in an uncomfortable environment.

That sums it up for me.

Of course, my kids so far have all been born between 37 and 39 weeks, so I'm taking that into account. My ds has an activity in a city that's about a 2 hour drive away when I'm about 38.5 weeks along. I'm not risking it, and I don't want dh being away just in case I go into labour.

But, it's not a wedding. That's a tough spot to be in. I think I would also be more worried about being a visitor while recovering than birthing away from home.

[DCMama01]

I agree with the others about factoring in when you have gone into labor in the past. Although I have to say that traveling by car for 5 hour each way does not sound too comfy.

[BCattS]

Thanks, mamas!

Some minor complications with my ITP have come up, so I'm letting my platelet count drive this decision at this point, or at least give me some more clarity & insight for my game-time decision. I keep telling my husband I'm going to feel like I'm on Let's Make A Deal the day before we leave when I have to make my choice... let's hope I guess right and get the sports car and not the pig in a sombrero!

[TyrantOfTheWeek]

We are going to Cincinnati (7hrs away, 36weeks pregnant) for Thanksgiving. Good luck to both of us!

[ekblad9]

I would definately go. Although I would hate the car ride, LOL. 5 hrs isn't that far even if you go into labor while you're there. Unless you had a speedy birth last time? I've even had a couple 6 hour labors BUT had signs far enough in advance that I could have headed home in that time. I also have platelette issues (have EVERY time) that have resolved at birth everytime. Good luck on your decision!!

[nannymom]

I wouldn't go. I would send dh and dd on with out me.

We drove 4 hours to trick or treat with my sisters kids when I was 36 weeks and I was miserable in the car.

I also wouldn't want to risk the stressors involved with giving birth in the situation you described. For me personally having to recover anywhere but my own home would make me nuts.

[flapjack]

Five hours in the car is going to place you at heightened risk for deep vein thrombosis as well. Ironically, I'd probably consider it by train but the US being what it is, that's probably not an option. Have you talked to your midwife about flight socks and so on whilst travelling?

[Mi_LuBelle]

Hmm ... 10 hours total travel in the car. Having to try and dress up and speak in front of people. PLUS trying to sit in pews during what I'm guessing is a full Catholic wedding mass... At least 1.75 hours...

I'm 37 weeks as of Saturday. And there is NO way I'd survive that or even attempt to be completely honest. And that's without considering the potential of going into labor. The sheer discomfort and stress related to the travel and wedding itself would have me exhausted and in a tizzy.

[Lexi_029]

Do you have a history of going into labor early? If you do, I would not go.