feeling traumatized

[curious&eager]

My 4 month old has started bitting me. He used to do it right before letting go on the last feed of the day when he'll feed to sleep. That was bad enough, but yesterday he actively chose to bite me. Like, he was awake and knowing and he bit me twice. I call him "Jaws" because of how hard he'll chump on my fingers, but my poor little breasts. I was in tears yesterday evening because I felt scared of my sweet baby. It was such a hard emotion because our feeding times were my favorite part of the day, and instead I felt dread each time he was hungry.

Today I'm in a better mood. The pediatrician said the answer to him biting when he's falls asleep is to not let him fall asleep while he eats. The other times I got bit was when he wasn't that hungry apparently so right now I'm not pressing the issue, even if it's been over four hours since his last meal. He hardly gets two sides at the moment.

Ped asked me if he was teething. I answered, "Dear God, let him not get teeth until he's at least nine months!" Owww! How can anyone handle a chomping with teeth? I cried a bunch yesterday for fear of just gums. Oww

[Rivka5]

Babies can't really bite and suck at the same time, so if he's biting he probably isn't that hungry. It is totally okay to just end the feeding if he bites.

Here's how I did it: I'd say "No biting!" sharply, close up my bra, and pull my shirt down. Then I'd offer him some kind of teething toy. If he seemed to be genuinely hungry, I'd offer the breast again a couple of minutes later. But I wouldn't just break the latch and pull him off for a minute - I would do the best I could to send a clear signal that biting = DONE.

For the biting that occurs as he drifts off to sleep, I guess I wouldn't let him stay latched on quite so long. When I thought he was nearly asleep, I'd break the latch with my finger and let him bite that. Or I'd substitute a pacifier.

As far as teeth: when my son's first two teeth finally came through at eight months, it hurt a bit to nurse him for about a day - not because he was biting down, but because his teeth would sort of scrape when he nursed. Then I guess he figured out how to hold his mouth, because the pain stopped. And it was pretty mild - not as bad as a gum chomp.

Good luck. It sounds like this is really stressing you out.

[curious&eager]

Thanks for your advice. We're just in a rough patch and I know it'll get better. I was pretty upset then. This morning he lightly chomped and yesterday he did two little chomps, but not nearly as bad as he did before. This just started happening and he's doing it too often, but I follow what you said and took him off and closed up shop while saying no. Hopefully he'll get the message soon.

On a funny note- have you read about biting in Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book." He actually suggests to bring the baby in closer to your chest so he can't get air in his noise and then he'll stop biting when he realizes that he can't bite and breath at the same time. That's the funniest craziest thing I've read in the book so far. I love his book, so I'm not criticizing him. I just think taking the baby off and saying a definite "no." is just as gentle as suffocating the baby. Funny!

[paulamc]

I think the kellymom website gives the same advice as Sears, and the la leche league as well. I don't think you are actually suffocating your baby - they will pull back before that happens.

Most well informed experts seem to advise not yelling - apparently that can cause a baby to go on a nursing strike, and some babes may find it to be funny. However, my baby bit once after getting teeth and I screamed when it happened. That startled him into coming off the breast, and he has never bitten again.

[phrogger]

Pushing the baby into the breast works. You aren't suffocating them, you are just making them choose to let go and take a breath. My 4 month old is doing the same thing and I just push him in and he lets go, THEN I offer my figer or a chewing ring. He obviously isn't hungry because when he is, he is only interested in sucking, but if he is getting bored and just playing or wanting to sooth his gums, he does the gumming/chewing thing. It hurts, but don't let it cause you fear of your child. The baby isn't doing it to hurt you, they are probably in pain (sore gums) or they are exploring what their jaws/gums can do. Just teach your baby that it isn't ok to do that to mom. It is more of a learning experience then something to be tramatized about. It hurts, no doubt about that, but it is just one of many chances we as mothers get to teach our kids what behaviors are acceptable.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by curious&eager

On a funny note- have you read about biting in Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book." He actually suggests to bring the baby in closer to your chest so he can't get air in his noise and then he'll stop biting when he realizes that he can't bite and breath at the same time. That's the funniest craziest thing I've read in the book so far. I love his book, so I'm not criticizing him. I just think taking the baby off and saying a definite "no." is just as gentle as suffocating the baby. Funny!

The Dr. Sears' method didn't work for us. DD, now 9 mos., takes my emotions very seriously so when i yell "OUCH" and pop her off and look sad, she gets the message. I don't refuse her when she wants it back, but usually she is sufficiently surprised by my OUCH to be gentle. If she continues, redirect, redirect, redirect. Here is a lovely monkey you can chew on!