Count Me In...

[Enchanted Gypsy]

I guess I am checking in here ! Just found out today but I KNEW for sure intuitively 2 weeks ago. I can't believe it has been three years since I signed up on the June 2007 board with my first. this is my second and I am 37 years old..

I have so many questions about what it's like with two kids and how my DD will adjust....

[veesmimi]

Welcome! I'm also 37 Expecting my 3rd... when my ds came along, my dd was 4 1/2 and had been asking for a sibling for a long time, of course she wanted a baby sister :P She did great adjusting, she could do a lot for herself, so I don't think she missed a lot of the necessities. She still, however, longs for only-childhood sometimes--- I try to give her "big girls" time when I can.

Adjusting to a step sister and step brother was much harder than a baby!!!

[Chris10AS]

Originally Posted by Enchanted Gypsy

I guess I am checking in here ! Just found out today but I KNEW for sure intuitively 2 weeks ago. I can't believe it has been three years since I signed up on the June 2007 board with my first. this is my second and I am 37 years old..

I have so many questions about what it's like with two kids and how my DD will adjust....

My son was 2 months younger than your dd will be in July when my dd was born. He did really well. The hardest part was figuring out how to put them down for naps when they both fell asleep on top of me. We got used to it pretty quickly and no he can't remember a time when she wasn't around.

One thing we did was not take ownership of the baby. It was not my baby or my husband's baby. It was our baby. Just as much my son's baby as mine. It may sound silly but letting her be his as much as ours prevented him from seeing her as a rival and more of a gift. At least that's how it worked for us.

[*KaiMom*]

Congrats! I too am a little worried about the adjustment. My first was almost 5 when my second came so he was very independent and in school. I'm a little nervous that these next two will be more like babies together.

[ScarletBegonias]

congrats!!!

eta: dd was 2 when ds came along, and it was tough! she is a highly sensitive child. ds is soooooooooo easy-going and dd is a lot easier now, so i'm not worried. i think the bigger age gap of dd (she'll be 4 1/2) and then new lo will be great!

[slgt]

Welcome - and I love the boots on your profile pic!

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by Chris10AS

One thing we did was not take ownership of the baby. It was not my baby or my husband's baby. It was our baby. Just as much my son's baby as mine. It may sound silly but letting her be his as much as ours prevented him from seeing her as a rival and more of a gift. At least that's how it worked for us.

This! YES YES YES!!! We prepared 2.5 y.o. dd1 by telling her that her baby sister was coming, this is OUR baby. We asked her to sing a bedtime song to her sister (through my tummy ) and when the baby was born, dd1 sang the song again... dd2 recognized her voice! It was so cute, they already had their own relationship before she was born.

We got dd1 involved by saying she has to help take care of her baby, it's her baby too! We would need her help to get diapers or pick out clothes for the baby. She was devout to helping out and happily acted things out for months before the baby came.

Once baby came, when I sat and nursed, I read a story to dd1. And when I was EXHAUSTED we played a lot of Sleeping Giant games on the floor. Dd1 did help out by bringing a diaper when needed and loved picking which outfit dd2 would wear.

When there was regression and dd1 wanted to be a baby again too, we reminded her of all the cool stuff she gets to do because she's a Big Girl -- like she can go to the amusement park (baby can't yet), she can eat chocolate (baby can't yet), she can take swimming classes (you get the picture). It helped her understand where she was positioned.

There were times that we indulged her and babied her. There were times when I took her alone to do Big Girl stuff.

It'll be great, you'll see! We'll cope. We'll have to.

[maranapanda]

Welcome, and Congratulations!!!