November Queer Conceptions - hoping for a bun in the oven (and not of the Thanksgiving dinner...

[Lyndzies]

Welcome to the Queer Conceptions thread! Please post your update in bold if you need to be moved. Happy babymaking!!! Let's have some good holiday news, folks!

Queer Conceptions - November 2009

Waiting to O

• erthe_mama
• mkpgoddess
• katherinerose
• Miss Scarlet
• megan sachat
• lyndzies :
• joyseattle
• Rainbowvalley Mama

: Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW :

• osker
• FtMpapa - increasing medical intervention - some sort of drug plus IUI.
• cejae
• danjelle
  

: Working on the Long IVF Protocol :

• Shadow22 with DP's eggs

Taking a Break & Figuring Things Out & Waiting to be Ready

• Coco
• wehrli :
• AmandaHope
• SPCD & Dp
• bttrflygypsy
• Hoping2bMoms

:2009 Graduates!
November BFPs

• painefaria

October BFPs

• Beastie
• JJNoho
• Astro & DP Fozziebear
• Mommies 2 Be
• megincl & ktcl

September BFPs

• elismum1908
• KSDoulaMama
• pleasantlyfurious

August BFPs

• chicagoml
• wishin'&hopin'

July BFPs

• hbog
• kimlyn32

May BFPs

• indigoscot's dp

April BFPs

• Kelmendi
• KJM
• whoabethy
• carmen

March BFPs

• scalpel
• katwomyn4

February BFP

• deny_zoo29

January BFP

• jodybird511

:2008 Graduates!

December BFPs

• DM630
• raene
• wazzmum

October BFPs

• JennM1021
• lexbeach's DP
• QTRANDI

September BFP

• Ellie74

August BFPs

• heart-n-bones
• Love My Family

July BFPs

• giggleblue
• pranava
• MamaCaveBear
• quasar (and DP smartycat)

June BFPs

• starling&diesel
• PiGirl
• Erica12009

April BFPs

• tigermiep
• MujerMamaMismo
• tiggerkong22
• simcon
• 2happymamas

March BFPs

• JenInMpls
• mahrens77

January BFP

• cookie70

:2007 Graduates!

December BFP

• Scalpel

November BFPs

• mamimapster
• AngelaM
• solejean
• lmh222

[Lyndzies]

My goodness! October was a prosperous month in these parts! Here's hoping the trend continues!

Many thanks to Papa for taking care of the October thread. I'm hoping for some awesome threadkeepers luck this time around.

Please be patient this month, as I'll likely only be checking in every other day (I'll try to do every day, but in the spirit of trying not to stress/obsess, I may need to take a day off here and there).

xo

[AmandaHope]

Hello! Please add me to Waiting to Be Ready. I'm actually SUPER excited today, because we found a spectacular known donor! He is the husband of a close friend, and he has a beautiful health history, is smart and attractive, etc. etc. Most importantly, he is a very informed, emotionally intelligent man who knows what he is getting into and is genuinely grateful to get to play this role in our lives. Yay! We will get started with the sperm bank next week, but we'll be able to avoid the 6-mo quarantine and MAY get things done in time for my next ovulation (very end of Nov or early Dec).

lyndzies Thanks for taking over the thread this month.

[painefaria]

Hello,
Please add me to Waiting to know.

This is our first cycle of trying Come on Baby... Holden wants a sibling

[Lyndzies]

Awesome, AmandaHope! If you don't mind me asking, how are you getting around the quarantine period?? Is the bank charging you an arm and a leg to work with your directed donor? This would have been such an ideal situation for DP and I, because in NJ, if the insemination is performed by a dr. the donor can literally waive his parental rights then and there (allowing DP to be on the birth certificate right away and making the second parent adoption process more straightforward). Thanks for sharing, if you're so inclined! Here's hoping you do get to catch that next egg!

Again, welcome to painefaria. I hope your stay is short!

AFM - Done w/ November insems. Let's hope I actually O today as I thought I would. I have a "situation" with my thermometer (was getting weirdly flat temps w/ the old one, wanted to invest in a new one, switched mid-cycle (I know, I know) and so now I'm worried my temps won't confirm O. I think I'm going to stick with my original plan and only temp through the weekend, though, and not all of the TWW. I just don't need the extra stress.

I've been meditating on a couple of affirmations yesterday and today:

"My body is about to release the perfect egg, and the perfect sperm will be waiting." and "My body knows how to conceive."

I think it's helping me be more calm and centered.

Anybody have others they'd like to share?

[astropeep]

Hi Lyndzies! Best of luck to you in the TWW! As for affirmations, mine have been:
- "We are not cursed."
- "I am trying to enjoy my life as it is now, despite wanting things badly."
- and "In the present moment, I am pregnant." (to stop obsessing about whether this pregnancy is a keeper.)

AFM, after 2 weeks of Zen, I'm bouncing off the walls waiting for my u/s on Monday. I read that a blighted ovum is unlikely to repeat, and most people later have a successful pregnancy, blagh blagh blagh -- it's all hard to believe. Either way, we should know on Monday. The scheduler reminded me to bring a USB stick to save the u/s pix. I was flabbergasted -- it's so hard to imagine the news could be good.

[erthe_mama]

Welcome painefaria and AmandaHope! Hope your stay in this thread will be a short one!

Lyndzies Thanks so much for being thread keeper! You rock. Also, I love those affirmations!

astropeep, this sounds so exciting!
I sure wish the u/s people here let us save it with usb... they charge $50 for a CD-ROM of u/s pics. Ugh. Don't know why I'm worried about it now though, Sonj and I haven't even conceived yet! lol


afm, our lawyer has advised us to cancel our appointment with her and wait until after KD has signed his three copies so we can sign them after him. *sigh* I hope he gets his butt in gear!! Still waiting on his STI results as well. (If he's even gone yet...) Ah well, at least it's a free service. lol. I'm just feeling so impatient!

**TMI WARNING!**
Oh, and we've decided on an insemination method... the Instead Cup way! Because of the only way that DP "gets off", other methods could be potentially messy, and this method seems so neat and tidy! I don't want to get any of that "man juice" anywhere near my mouth... heehee

Has anyone here ever tried the Instead Cup for ttc and want to share advice/stories?

[AmandaHope]

Lyndzies We're getting away without the quarantine because of relatively recent change in FDA policy that allows a directed donor to donate within 7 days of infectious disease testing without then having to quarantine the sperm. So our donor can donate 3 times in 7 days, do the testing on the 7th day, and then donate another 3 times in the following 7 days. All told, this could add up to 12 or more vials. If we need more, we can just repeat the process. Our donor lives in SF (where we *used* to live, sniff), so he will use Pacific Reproductive Services. Here is their known donor link:
https://www.pacrepro.com/index.php?main_page=have_donor
They have the pricing there, too. It isn't cheap, though PRS's prices are quite competitive. It is a long story, but the sperm bank we used to conceive my 7-yr-old daughter mistakenly DESTROYED our remaining vials of donor sperm several years ago, so that bank is paying all of the costs for our known donor screening and sperm freezing and shipping this time. We couldn't afford it, otherwise, even though it is much less expensive than IVF. The only bad news is that the testing will almost certainly take too long for us to inseminate next cycle. And then I'll probably ovulate during holiday travels, so we might have to wait until January. This part is disappointing, but I'm trying to focus on the many positives of this situation.

Painefaria and Lyndzies Good luck with the wait! The affirmations sound healthy and balanced. Oh--and I use the Walgreens brand of the BBT, and it works well.

[osker]

erthe_mama, we have used the instead cup as a backup, but never as the primary plan. We also use frozen, so we have a teeny tiny little sample to work with. We're about to use it as our primary choice this week (still with frozen), so I'll let you know how it goes!

I guess that's our update as well... we're waiting for o, probably going to insem Monday night/Tuesday morning at this rate.... and then we'll have the distraction of a trip out of the country (Toronto here we come!) and Thanksgiving planning to distract us from the tww! hooray!

[FtMPapa]

Astro I'm so excited for you guys! I really want good news to get November off to a good start.

Amanda - what a story! Unfortunately, most clinics use a stricter rule than the FDA which makes me kind of insane.

The problem for us with freezing sperm is the cost and the fact that there is no sperm bank within a reasonable distance, so that's an added complication, though I'm starting to think about talking to our fertility clinic about it for December - it's possible they can freeze the sperm there for a couple of weeks so that I can get an IUI while he's home with his family.

[megincl]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

Astro I'm so excited for you guys! I really want good news to get November off to a good start.

Amanda - what a story! Unfortunately, most clinics use a stricter rule than the FDA which makes me kind of insane.

The problem for us with freezing sperm is the cost and the fact that there is no sperm bank within a reasonable distance, so that's an added complication, though I'm starting to think about talking to our fertility clinic about it for December - it's possible they can freeze the sperm there for a couple of weeks so that I can get an IUI while he's home with his family.

Papa -- that's what we did with the Boston clinic. Definitely doable. And insurance even paid for the testing. We just had to pay per donation ($350).

Astro -- our ultrasound is next Friday and I can't rest easy until then for sure. Katie has had a few symptoms some days, and other days, nothing. It makes me crazy, though I'm trying to stay calm. UGH!!!

painefaria and AmandaHope -- most fertile thoughts coming your way!

be well all,
megin

[Lyndzies]

Megin and Astro - thinking positive u/s vibes for you both! I have good thoughts of those little beans thriving!!!

Amanda - thanks for the info! I'm fairly certain we wouldn't be able to afford the cost of having our donor go through a bank... although I guess all said and done, when it comes down to it you figure out a way to make TTC work, regardless of cost (though I've seen many friends go deep into debt TTC... it's so sad. ) I'm hoping it won't come to having to have medical intervention for us, but it is always in the back of my mind. And, as I mentioned, a lot of the legal stuff would be "solved" though "medicalizing" the process. Best of luck to you!

earth_mama - I use an Instead Cup after each insem. First I use the syringe, lay still for a few minutes and try to breathe & meditate, then I insert the cup, try to O (not easy in my KD's gross bathroom. Boys are so icky!!!), and have virtually no leakage. A word of warning that "bearing down" at all or knocking it out of place will cause a bit of spillage (breaks the vacuum) so I guess just be aware of that.

osker - GL w/ the upcoming insems! I'm grateful for all of the November distractions that are keeping my TTC OCD (i.e. obsessively refreshing message boards, looking at my chart (as though something would change) and feeling myself up countless times during the day) in check. Hoping the same will be true for you.

AFM - Good news (I'm hoping): Great temp spike today, and I think the new therm is a-okay. I calibrated the new w/ the old... i.e. took my temp w/ each -- both yesterday and today -- and they weren't too different, so I think I'm okay switching in the middle. And the low temp yesterday and the high temp today were both w/ the new therm. Meaning that I'm not getting an artificial temp "rise" just because one thermometer is reading hotter than the other.

Soooooo... if my temp stays up tomorrow and Sunday, I'll get my CHs and feel comfortable ditching the therm for the rest of this cycle.

It will feel SOOOO liberating!

And it will feel good to know that I Oed on CD 17, exactly when I suspected I would!

As an aside, do any of you notice that you react really strongly to progesterone when it first starts pumping? I was so nauseated this morning, and crampy. My temp has never spiked so steeply before following O, I wonder if it's all correlated somehow?

Wow... this was long for someone who said she was going to not be on the boards much. Oh well, whatever. I miss you all if I don't check in at least daily. Also, I just have some GREAT energy today! It's one of those fall days here in Philly/SJ that makes you feel like you're walking through an Eddie Bauer or LL Bean catalog.

[FtMPapa]

Megin - thanks for the info!

I'll have to check in with him and see how he feels about it, but I would really like to have some frozen just in case.

Did they split one donation into several vials for you folks, or was it all at once since you were doing IVF? (You didn't do IUI with them, right?)

I am torn about it. It might make sense...I wonder if they can even bill insurance for the freezing if we can convince them it's medically necessary for "performance anxiety"? This is the HUGE downside to fresh semen, there is always that chance of it just not happening! At least with frozen, you know you have it ready to go.


Lyndzies - I often get nausea around 3 DPO...this cycle nothing, but it's been a thing in the past. Part of why TTC is so crazy making...progesterone symptoms look just like pregnancy symptoms!

[megincl]

[QUOTE=FtMPapa;14634142]Megin - thanks for the info!

I'll have to check in with him and see how he feels about it, but I would really like to have some frozen just in case.

Did they split one donation into several vials for you folks, or was it all at once since you were doing IVF? (You didn't do IUI with them, right?)

I am torn about it. It might make sense...I wonder if they can even bill insurance for the freezing if we can convince them it's medically necessary for "performance anxiety"? This is the HUGE downside to fresh semen, there is always that chance of it just not happening! At least with frozen, you know you have it ready to go.


Yep, the donations were split into several vials. We got five vials from two donations. I thought we'd get more based on our donor's usual amount, but that takes into account washing and prep for IVF. So, sounds like you'd have generally the same process. I think that insurance might at least reimburse you for the donation costs, particularly if your donor has extensive travel (ie, I'm sure you could cook up a pretty good reason). I think that BIVF always charges for the donations but you can then get reimbursed. Though, if it's a partner doing the donations, I'm actually not sure....more questions!!! Hence the daily heap of phone calls made to them.

[FtMPapa]

It's unbelievable how many phone calls it takes to set things up. Unreal. I didn't have any where NEAR this many with my old clinic. Then again, I wasn't trying to get bloodwork done at my Uni health services, semen analysis done here in town at the hospital, ultrasound at my OBGYN, plus coordinate referrals from both my and my partner (in babymaking)'s separate doctors and everything else! It's a nuthouse!

Ah well, it's keeping me PLENTY distracted in my 2ww - I'm exactly half way through the wait today, and there's no news to be had. Or symptoms to be felt, save I'm very tired, but I think that's from the change in daylight and having some very late nights and even one almost all nighter in the last week.

[erthe_mama]

osker, thank you! I'd really appreciate that! Best of luck with your insem!!


Lyndzies, good to know!! Thanks for the advice.
Also, yay for great energy! I love autumn...


FtMPapa, I really your siggie! I have that quote on my facebook page.


afm, DP is going to a Reiki share today... I sure hope it helps with that anxiety!

[astropeep]

FtMpapa, re phone calls -- I know, it's amazing! Sometimes I feel like I spend half my life on the phone ordering drugs, arguing with the pharmacy, arguing with the insurance, making appts, transferring records. Somebody suggested a TTC secretary -- that would be a great idea.

My insurance company is getting its current yucks by denying my claims on refills of progesterone. Fortunately they aren't balking at the expensive drugs. So we are playing the, "What part of the word 'pre-approved' do you not understand?" game.

Oh, and yes, the clinics I know get a frozen sample a few days before IVF, just in case the well runs dry. Yes, usually a single donation makes several ICI vials.

AmandaHope: We use PRS with a WTBK donor. We've found PRS to be really nice and very experienced.

Megincl: My fingers are crossed for your u/s next Friday! Fozz is doing the same thing you're doing -- she's relieved when I'm burping or turning green, and worried when I feel fine. I try to tell her that this early, the pregnancy hormones are made by me, not the fetus, so my sickness level doesn't tell us whether all is well in there. This has not made her stop worrying, astonishingly enough.

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by astropeep

FtMpapa, re phone calls -- I know, it's amazing! Sometimes I feel like I spend half my life on the phone ordering drugs, arguing with the pharmacy, arguing with the insurance, making appts, transferring records. Somebody suggested a TTC secretary -- that would be a great idea.

My insurance company is getting its current yucks by denying my claims on refills of progesterone. Fortunately they aren't balking at the expensive drugs. So we are playing the, "What part of the word 'pre-approved' do you not understand?" game.

Oh, and yes, the clinics I know get a frozen sample a few days before IVF, just in case the well runs dry. Yes, usually a single donation makes several ICI vials.

Yeah, totally. An infertility doula could handle all of this for us.

This insurance stuff is making me crazy . . . the more I hear from others, the crazier I get, and the more I go through, the crazier I get.

My doc's office thought I was being paranoid when I asked them if the doc could call in my Gonal-F for Monday, a full week before my anticipated CD 3. The thing is that if I'm not knocked up, I'll know on a Friday, and I need to start the meds on Sunday, which doesn't give me any time to play any games with insurance. Also, I'd rather not have to drive a half hour or more to get my drugs, so if the local pharmacy has to order it in, it gives me a few days.

And that reminds me. . . I forgot to call the lab today about the semen analysis. I only sent three fertility related e-mails today, got one phone call, and left one voicemail. I feel like a total slacker.

[FtMPapa]

For the obsessive symptom watchers out there. . . here we go, 8 DPO

I don't remember ever having a second patch of EWCM, but I've heard it can happen because estrogen levels go up again in the LP.

I had a blob of EWCM this morning, and I've been kind of....goopy....all week. Not EWCM, but more like creamy, but kind of wet creamy, white, and lots of it.

I'm also super tired this week, but time change, many late nights, even more early mornings, and inadvertently skipping my morning coffee all this week, tells me I should disregard that "symptom."

[painefaria]

I am obsessing over everything... I don't know how you guys do it I guess it gets different (not easier).