or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Whose crazy? Me or my OB? Re: Triplet Preterm Birth
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Whose crazy? Me or my OB? Re: Triplet Preterm Birth - Page 2

post #21 of 52


Novella has once again summed up my thoughts more succinctly and eloquently than I possibly could have.

I also found the OBs suggestion to leave the final decision to the OB as part of the 'old guard' attitude that doctors are holier than patients and that women need guidance in most aspects of their world in general. Those biased insinuations, along with the basic 'untruth' of the statement, leave me more than baffled.

I do not envy the decisions that you have to make. They are hard. I do, however, believe that you have to be comfortable with your choices. You can do it, mama.

I'm routing for you and three healthy babes.
post #22 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by kjoy2 View Post
I also found the OBs suggestion to leave the final decision to the OB as part of the 'old guard' attitude that doctors are holier than patients and that women need guidance in most aspects of their world in general.
But that isn't what the doctor said at all. He was just trying to offer her something to make her feel better (misguided though it was). Nobody, even the chairman, has suggested blindly following the OB's advice.

My OB is a woman. Was following her suggestion part of the same 'old guard' attitude that women need guidance? No. It saved my life and my babies' lives. Not all doctors are out to get their patients.
post #23 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by kjoy2 View Post
I also found the OBs suggestion to leave the final decision to the OB. . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by venustx View Post
But that isn't what the doctor said at all. . . .Nobody, even the chairman, has suggested blindly following the OB's advice.
Venustx, what exactly does this mean, then?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barefoot Farmer View Post
He wants me to consider expressing my thoughts and concerns w/ my doc, but ultimately letting my doc make the decision
(bold emphasis mine)

Sounds to me like some window dressing of "go ahead and express your feelings" followed-up by a nice big serving of "and then just do what you're told".

I'm not suggesting that the chairman's comments were callous or malicious, but I certainly think they are atrociously misguided!

When was the last time any of us worked with a banker, lawyer, real estate agent or general contractor and were advised to "ultimately leave the decision fully in the hands" of that person?

And on a tangent:

I also noted your comment about following your own OB's suggestion not being "old guard attitude". I guess I was a little surprised that you thought it relevant to mention that your OB was a woman.

Discussions we may have here about many obstetricians displaying "unaware=male" attitudes that do not respect women and babies sometimes apply in the general arena. But I've never seen anyone suggest that every individual obstetrician out there behaves this way. Certainly there are cases of in-touch and aware and more naturally-guided obstetricians - male or female.

I thought it was interesting that you felt it necessary to make the point your OB was female, when I reflected on Dr. Christiane Northup's book "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom". She writes at some length about her early years as an obstetrician and the overwhelming understanding she gleaned in those years, that to succeed in that career required her to suppress her femaleness in many, many ways in an attempt to be accepted and respected professionally.
post #24 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Novella View Post
Certainly there are cases of in-touch and aware and more naturally-guided obstetricians - male or female.
Then isn't it possible that the OP's OB is one of these? He has made some conservative suggestions (and many would argue it would be irresponsible of him not to, since there is a very real chance of uterine rupture leading to one or more babies dying, and patients deserve to be informed of all of the risks and options) but he has not bullied her into anything as far as we can tell, and in fact let her make the call about spending another week at home.

I don't claim to have read every book on the subject; I merely shared my experience as someone who has been through a risky triplet pregnancy firsthand, and emerged with 3 healthy babies. It's great that we all have such varied experiences.
post #25 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by venustx View Post
But that isn't what the doctor said at all. He was just trying to offer her something to make her feel better (misguided though it was). Nobody, even the chairman, has suggested blindly following the OB's advice.

My OB is a woman. Was following her suggestion part of the same 'old guard' attitude that women need guidance? No. It saved my life and my babies' lives. Not all doctors are out to get their patients.
Yes, someone - the chairman - did suggest blindly following the OB's advice. I have no problem with folks following professional advice, though I do prefer folks do it with a fair amount of understanding & knowledge and definitely some personal accountability & agreement. I even followed my male OB's advice on several occasions. What Novella and I were trying to express is that we don't agree with the sentiment expressed by the chairman that blindly following the OB's advice will magically clear one's conscious no matter the outcome. At the basic human emotional/spiritual level, I reject that hypothesis. At the MDC level, I'm identifying with our collective efforts towards self-empowerment and education in regards to experiences in pregnancy, birth, health, and children.

Your experience is tremendously valid here, as you are one of our few triplet mamas. I think, however, that you misread the thread/my intent.

Sorry for the thread hijack, Barefoot Farmer. I felt I needed to clarify the misunderstanding.
post #26 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by venustx View Post
Then isn't it possible that the OP's OB is one of these?
Anything's possible , but the original post doesn't read like that:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barefoot Farmer View Post
My OB would want to take the babes via c-section at 34 weeks, solely out of concern that my uterus would not be able handle the size of the 3 babes, plus their placentas. I am arguing to be able to keep the babes in until 35-36 weeks (should I be so blessed), stating that I would be in the hospital should anything go wrong (this is also assuming that I don't develop any of the other possible risk factors). He was very reluctant to agree to this
post #27 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by kjoy2 View Post
What Novella and I were trying to express is that we don't agree with the sentiment expressed by the chairman that blindly following the OB's advice will magically clear one's conscious no matter the outcome. At the basic human emotional/spiritual level, I reject that hypothesis.
Me too, that's why I said the reason for possibly listening to him shouldn't be that, and why I said he was misguided in saying it. I'm glad we agree about his advice!
post #28 of 52
I don't have anything to add, but wanted to offer support. What a tough decision to have to make! I can't imagine there are that many women who have a vertical incision emergency C-section and then become pregnant with triplets -- nothing opinions to go on.

for you as you weigh your options. I am confident you will come to the decision that is best for you and your babies.
post #29 of 52
I have zero personal experience with C sections or multiples, but it sounds like you are being very reasonable. I know there has been a recent study on using ultrasound to check the stability of c section scars and judge the risk of uterine rupture. Have you talked to your OB about this. It might give you both more information to work with... and he'll have a nice test to cover himself, so that might make him a little more willing to wait and not bug you.
GOOD LUCK!
post #30 of 52
Thread Starter 
Hey all, Just wanted to update you as to where we are at. I am hospitalized now until the babes are born. Everything is going really well -- no contractions, no blood pressure issues; I'm in "just in case" something happens with the uterine scar.

My OB and I continue to have our discussion. As of yesterday we have agreed to sometime in the 35wk timeframe; I still have two weeks to get there so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I continue to be so blessed to be to make this decision.

For what is is worth, I was a bit perplexed by the chairman's comments myself. He was very clear that he agreed w/ me in a elective c/s at 36 weeks w/o amnio, but then countered w/ me giving the power to my OB to make the ultimate decision. I must admit that while I have been contemplating these risks, and I am aware that waiting to 36wks does put me and my babes at risk of morbidity/mortality due to rupture, I had not really thought about how I would feel if that did happen and it was a case of going against my OB's recommendation. I don't believe this should be the foundation upon which I make my decision, but I do think it was something I didn't think about enough or at all.
post #31 of 52
Great job so far! I hope you and your trips continue growing and get to 35 weeks, and can decide then whether to go on. It's in some ways an enviable choice to make.

Hope your hospital stay goes smoothly and quickly!
post #32 of 52
What a great update!
How are you doing in the hospital as far as keeping yourself somewhat occupied? Do you have stuff to create / books / puzzle books, etc.? I hope your stay is very uneventful.
post #33 of 52
I was so anxiously awaiting an update from you! I'm glad to hear that you're doing well and that they're continuing to allow you to wait. Every day is precious and they're giving you that. I give your OB credit, I know far too many that wouldn't wait, and you're staying so strong!

We're all here to chat if you get bored.
post #34 of 52
Just chiming in to wish you all the best. I have been thinking of you, but haven't had much to give in the way of advice, so I have just been reading the thread. It's a tough situation - it is much harder to be managing a risk that could go very bad very fast than to be reacting to something that is already a reality, which was my situation. I hope everything goes really well for you.

FWIW, my 32 week 6 day triplets had uneventful NICU stays. We had preemie bfing issues that I hope you can avoid, but they were healthy and did very well. I hope you go another 2 plus weeks, but you have made it to a pretty good place.
post #35 of 52
Hope everything goes well, congrats on getting them this far!
post #36 of 52
Like so many other PPs I don't have anything new info or suggestions to add, just support.

I think you're doing an amazing job as a mother {and baby-grower!}. I completely support you in making decisions for your family based on discernment, which a good friend of mine defines as "your heart and your mind coming together to allow your higher power to influence you." Using your heart {intuition, emotions, gut feeling, etc.} and your mind {knowledge about statistics, past experience, etc.} to allow your higher power to influence this choice will, in my opinion, bring the most peace, regardless of the outcome.

I can't wait to hear how the birth goes. I'm optimistic you're going to have big, healthy babies and be nursing well in no time. Good luck, mama!
post #37 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by two_sets_of_twins View Post
which a good friend of mine defines as "your heart and your mind coming together to allow your higher power to influence you." Using your heart {intuition, emotions, gut feeling, etc.} and your mind {knowledge about statistics, past experience, etc.} to allow your higher power to influence this choice will, in my opinion, bring the most peace, regardless of the outcome.
That's a lovely way of describing it!
post #38 of 52
maybe i am misunderstanding your post...if you're saying you will go in the hospital and stay there until the babies need to come out by c/s, then i say, why take them out earlier? i don't get it. clearly if you rupture while IN the hospital, they can take them quickly.

i would under no circumstances try a TOL, though.
post #39 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
maybe i am misunderstanding your post...if you're saying you will go in the hospital and stay there until the babies need to come out by c/s, then i say, why take them out earlier? i don't get it. clearly if you rupture while IN the hospital, they can take them quickly.

i would under no circumstances try a TOL, though.
Because even in the hospital it can take 20-30 minutes to get her back to surgery and get all three babies out. And in that time the risk to the babies is great for death or brain damage and to her for massive bleeding and death. It really is a serious risk she's got to manage.
post #40 of 52
Thread Starter 
Thank you Intertwined. Yeah, I wish I could say I'd throw caution to the wind and let nature decide when these babes are born; unfortunately, the risk is just too great.

What is TOL?

Oh, I think I just answered my own question. . . Trial of Labor??
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting Multiples
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Whose crazy? Me or my OB? Re: Triplet Preterm Birth