Feeling Guilty

[belltree]

My little guy is now 12 days old and breastfeeding is still a challenge. I have gotten some help from a LC and while she was there everything worked out so easily and smoothly. But once she was gone, we are back to square one. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I tried using her tips, but it doesn't seem to work. I try latching him, he takes it, does a couple sips and than spits the nipple out again or pushes with his hands against my breast.

I believe I have a mastitis on one breast by now and will go and see my midwife later today. I am exhausted. On top of it, he requested being on the breasts for 2-3 hrs at a time. I am not even sure if he was getting anything?

Last night, I decided to pump and dh was spoon feeding the expressed milk to him. Finally not the constant battle anymore, at least for 3 feedings. But this morning now we had the worst latch-on-fight so far. 40min of trying and I just gave up and back to the spoon. Did I confuse him by feeding him with a spoon? I just needed a little break and we had done this in the hospital in the beginning a bit, to help me get on the way.

I feel so terrible for not being able to breastfeed my child. Not sure, what else I can do?

Any advise from experienced mothers here?

[GoBecGo]

My only tip from what you've said is to try wrapping him (with his arms against his sides) when you try to feed him. It won't stop him spitting the nipple out but it will stop him pushing himself off. DD did that a lot the first few weeks and it got worse and worse and eventually someone pointed out that newborn babies don't have the motor control to repel with their hands, they turn their heads to avoid pain/danger because they have such limited control, thus her pushing herself off was upsetting and frustrating HER as much as it was me. We wrapped her up tight (swaddled) for every feed after that and never looked back, she was finally able to get a good long feed without her arms getting in the way and she had a longer "practice" of latching which helped cement her learning how to do it well each and every time.

I also used the football hold a lot because i have very large breasts and it allowed me to see my nipple and her mouth better than the tummy-to-tummy hold, and i took her off EVERY time i felt the latch wasn't quite right (because it hurt, or she wasn't swallowing much or whatever) and put her back on so that she would have maximum chances of feeling what a good latc was.

Hang in there mama, he is so small, you are both so new at this. 12 days without sleep and with a constant struggle to feed is a LONG time, but out of the years you will be BFing it'll be worth it i promise. These are the hard yards just now. If the LC helped then get her back in, have her go over it again, have her sit in again and help. Have her watch you and see what SHE thinks is going amiss with you both.

Don't worry too much about the spoon - needs must. There are mama's on here who had to go entirely to formula and still made it back onto the breast eventually. I kow it feels insurmountable but it will feel like a blip when you have conquered it and you WILL conquer it.

A hug to you, and a pat on the back. You're doing it tough but still doing it nonetheless and that is a rare and beautiful thing nowadays.

[dinan6]

When he first latches on and starts nursing then pulls off can you see if there is milk around his mouth or still leaking out of your nipple also does he gag or choke.. Maybe it is forceful letdown, so when your milk comes down it is alot or too much for him to handle. I'm wondering if that is why he is pulling off like that. To help that you can latch him on and then lay back to have gravity work for you and helping the milk slow a bit. Or lay on your side and feed him laying on his side, this way the milk can just leak out the side of his mouth. Hope this helps, also you should contact your local La leche league they are very helpful. I don't think the spoon feeding would cause to much problems, when you introduce the bottle or pacifier to soon that is when you can cause nipple confusion. Anyways, I hope you get some relief soon.... Keep trying and asking for help.. It will get better...

[Sage Green]

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Edited by Sage Green - 12/12/11 at 4:59pm

[Youngfrankenstein]

First of all, ((((((HUGS))))))! My first baby took a few weeks to learn how to nurse. He would either latch on and do NOTHING or he would fuss at the breast. I would pump every 3 hours (after trying to nurse him) and then we would syringe/tube feed him. I know it's frustrating but getting the milk in him is most important and it sounds like you're doing that.

You seem to be doing everything right and you must have faith he will get it. I completely understand how frustrating it is.

I think working on the nursing is best but also having a good back-up plan to keep you from getting overwhelmed is very important too. When we were shown how to gravity feed/syringe feed, it took such a load off of my mind. I wasn't going to give bottles but the spoon, cup feeding wasn't working. With the syringe, he just sucked the milk from a tiny tube on my upturned finger and it at least was closer to nursing.

Hang in there!