Feeling a little crushed

[Blanca78]

Just have to vent here.
So, my sister lives in France, and she, my other sister, and me were all going to be at our parents' house over Christmas. I was so looking forward to it; it's been ages since all five of us were together for a holiday. I figured we'd all go up to one of my aunt or uncle's houses for a big family Christmas, and I was going to tell my family in person that I'm expecting.

Yesterday, my sister told me that she wasn't able to get a visa renewal appointment in time for Christmas, so she can't come home if she wants to be able to return to France. Understandably, she was very upset and I was thoroughly bummed that I wouldn't see her.

Now, my mom tells me that because she doesn't want my sister to spend time alone, she's going to spend the holidays with her in France, and not come back till the 29th to have Christmas with my dad, my other sister, and me.

I don't want my sister to be alone, but I also have been fantasizing about telling my parents I'm pregnant for YEARS now. I'll see them over Thanksgiving and could tell them then, but it's a little earlier than I'm comfortable with. And, if my mom knows, she'll feel guilty about going to France.

I don't want to tell her now, because I don't want to guilt her into not going, but at the same time I'm really sad about this.
BOo.

[welsh]

I am so sorry!! That sucks
How many weeks will you be when she returns on Dec 29th? Could you possibly hold it in (so to speak!) until then?
Hugs

[Blanca78]

Originally Posted by welsh

I am so sorry!! That sucks
How many weeks will you be when she returns on Dec 29th? Could you possibly hold it in (so to speak!) until then?
Hugs

Yeah, I probably could. That's not a bad idea. I'll be at the very end of the first trimester then. I was looking forward to telling my extended family, too, but of course my mom will have no trouble spreading the word then.

I'm also just sad because I already told Dh that next year we could drive out to see his folks with the baby (our parents are in totally different regions of the country, and we live halfway between). So this was kind of my last chance for a Christmas with just me and my whole family.

[welsh]

Originally Posted by Blanca78

I'm also just sad because I already told Dh that next year we could drive out to see his folks with the baby (our parents are in totally different regions of the country, and we live halfway between). So this was kind of my last chance for a Christmas with just me and my whole family.

Then I would definitely hold out and have that special time with your Mom, Dad and other Sister on the 29th.
Does your Sis in France have skype? That's how I communicate with my family overseas. So much better when you can see each other as you chat
Keep us posted!

[Blanca78]

Originally Posted by welsh

Then I would definitely hold out and have that special time with your Mom, Dad and other Sister on the 29th.
Does your Sis in France have skype? That's how I communicate with my family overseas. So much better when you can see each other as you chat
Keep us posted!

Yes, she does have Skype--I've never used it with her, but come to think of it, she told me it's possible to do video chat--that would be neat. The next best thing to telling her in person. And you're right, it will still be our special time on the 29th. If I had my druthers I'd tell my parents when they come see us at Thanksgiving, but DH doesn't feel it's fair to tell my parents before his, and I absolutely cannot trust his mom to keep a secret, so I'd rather wait until the first trimester is almost up to tell her.

[evjolin]

arghhhh....i hate getting so excited for a plan and then it changes :-( if i were in your shoes, here's what i would do:
1) tell mom and frenchie sis via skype cmas eve or cmas day
2)have big family christmas with your extended family and tell them all in person
3)call DH's parents the same day you tell your mom
4)revel in everybody's joy...via skype and in person.

this way your mom and sis in france can talk to each other about it, and your sister won't feel as left out because no one is there with her.

you get to enjoy the baby news at 2 christmas parties :-)

[Surfacing]

What a great idea to include Sister using Skype!

It is disappointing Blanca78 when we dream about a certain scenerio and reality prevents it from happening. This does sound like a happy medium.

If you feel like telling her beforehand, don't do it, come on here and tell us about your pregnancy!

[Blanca78]

Thank you all for your replies! I'm really liking this Skype idea. I like the idea of using the forum as an outlet to prevent me from spilling the beans early! Though it will be hard getting through Thanksgiving without my parents suspecting something, especially if I'm having morning sickness by then and if they notice I'm not drinking.