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Originally Posted by thyra  I'm currently BF'ing my almost 10mo. I love it. He loves it. Weaning would be very very hard on both of us.
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It sounds like you want to continue breastfeeding because you and your baby both love it, but you're conflicted because you are feeling run-down and you have little support.
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Originally Posted by thyra The problem is that I'm sick, and have been for weeks. It's just dragging on and on and on. I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm exhausted. My baby refuses the bottle (or any form of expressed BM unless its a slushie) so he doesn't get enough during the day while I'm gone. I'm a law student, so I'm busy. My BF is a law student also - he's even busier than I am!
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What does a typical day look like for you? Maybe we can offer you some suggestions based on what you're experiencing. It might help if you started from when your day starts until the same time the following day.
Does your baby eat solids? Will he take any milk or water from a sippy or plain cup?
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Originally Posted by thyra I REALLY don't want to wean my son, but this is kicking my a$$ and it seems that nursing is taking so much out of me (I pump during the day, plus he nurses all night) that my body just isn't getting enough of something.
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Do you feel it is more that nursing is affecting your health or is it more mothering (and living in general) with minimal support?
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Originally Posted by thyra I try to eat well, but we're BUSY - cooking is the last thing we have time for. We don't have enough money to eat well when we eat out, we're really struggling to make it right now. I'm also super stressed out which makes things worse.
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Others have given you some great tips.
A crock pot is an excellent way to eat well cheaply and with very little preparation. If you get right down to it, even ramen (THE staple food of poor college students
) with some added vegetables and/or meats can be a cheap, quick, and hearty meal. Don't forget other easy and quick (and inexpensive!) things like PB&J, grilled cheese, soups, mac and cheese, salads, nuts, fruit, eggs, salad, spaghetti, stir fry, hamburger steak, baked potato (sweet and white)...the list goes on and on.
The most important thing is to plan ahead. Look at your budget and with that in mind, keep some staples on hand to make quick and easy meals and snacks. You can still eat out, of course. It will be helpful to both your budget and health to cut back on eating out and eat in more. You needn't cook gourmet meals. Think cheap, simple, quick, and FAST.
Could your BF do some simple meal prep (cutting veg, fixing sandwiches ahead, filling the crock pot, etc)?
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Originally Posted by thyra But at least if I weaned him my BF could give him food at night while I was sick!
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Originally Posted by thyra I just can't seem to get enough calories during the day or night to sustain me AND him.
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Have you considered keeping a food diary for a few days? This would help you to be able to see how much you are really eating and make changes based on your intake. Remember that you will burn about 500 calories above your non-pregnant/bfing basal metabolic rate. So, if you burn about 1,500 calories per day, try adding 500 more to that. You could try adding more nutrient and calorie dense foods such as avacodo, walnuts, coconut oil, olive oil, etc.
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Originally Posted by thyra I even came home early today so that I could take a nap with him - but NO he CAN'T sleep unless my boob is in his mouth! I NEED SOME SLEEP!!!!! And when my boob is in his mouth I CAN'T sleep - its NOT comfortable for me!
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How are you sleeping at night?
The No Cry Sleep Solution offers some suggestions for helping baby stop sleeping with the breast in the mouth.
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Originally Posted by thyra I have antibiotics b/c last week I had a terrible cough that wouldn't go away. Now I have diarrhea, and just in general feel like crap. I have been sick for 3weeks in a row now, and I just cannot.get.better. If I got more sleep at night (which I would if my baby was at daycare at my school and I could nurse him all day - he's a GOOD sleeper when he's not hungry all night!), but I can't b/c my baby is at home with grandma who can't seem to get milk down him.
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Do you think that grandma doesn't want to help him take milk, or is there some other issue?
Is taking him to daycare for a day an option?
What about hiring a mother's helper for an hour or two when you feel run down? This is a teen or college student that stays with you and cares for the baby while mom rests (or catches up on work, etc). It's cheaper than a babysitter since you're available at all times. Think about $5-8 an hour.
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Originally Posted by thyra BF won't take over if Lincoln's crying. His number 1 priority right now is school. He Won't even miss class to take over for an hour so I can get a nap in. His idea of helping is asking his mom to live with us so that SHE can take over his responsibilities. If I don't want her help, then his sister. But NOT him. He WON'T DO IT.
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That doesn't sound quite fair, does it?
Would he not consider taking your son for a walk around the block in his stroller? Or feed him a meal of solids then give him a long bath?
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Originally Posted by thyra I know that nursing doesn't directly affect my immune system - but its taking so much out of me right now that I'm not staying healthy. Pumping all day, and then nursing every 1-2hours at night is killing me. I'm constantly tired, I drink as much as I can and still wake up every morning with a horrible dehydration headache, and starving b/c the baby has nursed everything out of me.
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How many times total are you nursing/pumping? If it's more than 8 and you're keeping up with your baby's needs and then some, could you consider cutting back on pumping until the reverse cycling is, well, reversed?
It's important to stay hydrated. If your urine is not pale, you're not getting enough to drink. You might find it helpful to keep some ice water in a thermal cup by your bed or nursing spot. Keep water accessible at all times.
Again, I would suggest keeping a food diary for a few days just to get a feel of what you're actually taking in. From there, you can make changes and additions to your diet.
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Originally Posted by thyra I don't want my BF moms help b/c she's crazy, and thinks she knows how I should be raising Lincoln. After all, she did raise 4 kids (who are ALL still financially dependant on her and her ex in some way - ages 30, 27, 25, 22, the 30 yr old still lives at home) and I disagree with most of what she says.
Plus she lives an hour away, so if she's helping she's staying over - which drives me crazy for other reasons. I want my BF to take responsibility for HIS baby - I want HIM to babysit some so that I get some ME TIME.
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It is perfectly reasonable to expect your BF to help take care of your ds. Have you sat down and had a heart-to-heart? It might help to tell him what you need at a time when both of you are open to discussion and neither of you are feeling overly emotional.
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Originally Posted by thyra If I weaned Lincoln, BF could and I could make him do some of the nighttime parenting. Now if I ask him to help out so that I can get some sleep he tells me its my fault that I'm nursing, and if I wasn't then Lincoln would take a bottle during the day, he could do some nighttime parenting, etc. He's the one that suggested nursing when I said I wanted to FF, but its MY FAULT the baby won't take a bottle. and MY FAULT the baby is so damn attached to me.
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First of all, I want to assure you that it's not your "fault" that your baby is attached to you. That's supposed to happen and it would have happened even if you formula fed. It's a wonderful thing that your baby is attached!
Attachment=trust.
Do you feel that things would change if you did wean? To be completely honest, if your BF won't take the baby for one hour while you nap, it seems unlikely that he we happily take on the care of a crying baby at night. Again, I would suggest having a heart-to-heart when neither of you are overly emotional. Let him know what needs to be changed, what your son needs, what you need, and what you'd like to see happen.
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Originally Posted by thyra My son is a screaming whiny mess this morning and I'm dehydrated and HUNGRY, but I have to tend to a screaming whiny mess before I can do ANYTHING for myself. Maybe I'll just let him scream while I take a shower (since I won't get one today if I don't do that).
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You sound exhausted! I hope you were able to find some help and some time to yourself today.
There's nothing wrong with showering when you can. I rarely got to shower alone and would shower while my son sat in his bouncy seat (then he graduated to exersaucer and eventually to pack and play) and sing and peek out of the shower curtain to let him know I was still there. Not all showers were tear free, I assure you. Moms do what they have to do! Do you have a bath tub? The next time you both are having a bad morning, maybe bring him into the tub with you? You might find it's relaxing for both of you!
Remember to try to keep water near your bed so that you don't stay in a constant dehydrated state.
A suggestion for mornings is to keep some cold cereal, granola bars, cheese, etc. on hand. These are things you can fix for yourself one-handed with a baby on your hip and eat while your baby eats his breakfast in a high chair. You can make instant oatmeal in the microwave, or just pouring in boiled water and covering for 5 minutes. Those are great things you can fix while taking a quick shower. For another quick breakfast option, put an egg in cold water to boil while you shower (set a timer so you don't forget it!).
Do you have a local LLL, API, or other "mommy" group you could go to? The support and comradarie might prove helpful.
My dd was that way and ds was almost as bad. I honestly dont know how I survived it.
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