15 month old biting at school

[merryns.mom]

okay, so my 15 month old daughter is teething molars and others right now; and at school she has bitten other kids several times over the last few weeks. usually while arguing over toys. she has bitten me or dad twice (once while he was snatching a toy away, and once when i wouldn't let her have my phone)

at school, they teach the kids "mine" as in the other kid says "mine" when she tries to take it, and the teacher shows her another toy to play with (i guess)

this strikes me as odd, what if five seconds ago, my daughter had that toy and thought it was "mine"; and really, none of the toys are hers, they need to take turns

okay, what should i do?

[chfriend]

I'm not sure what you can do about her biting in day care. The teachers should be sharing with you their strategies for preventing the babies from biting each other.

Teething hurts. What remedies are you using to get through this stressful time.

[betsyj]

If two kids are fighting over a toy one kid is told he can play with it when the other is done. If John is playing with it, the toy is John's for now. My daycare doesn't stress sharing at that age as it really isn't developmentally appropriate.

Secondly, as much as it sucks biting is a normal developmental milestone for kids. Of course not all kids bite, but most do at one time or another. My son for instance.

He bit three kids in one day-it was pretty painful for a while. That said, the daycare just worked really hard to help him avoid the triggers (for him too many kids in his space and kids taking a toy right out of his hand) and worked to redirect him when a trigger could not be avoided.

The phase has passed pretty much. Biting was an every day occurance but as he has gotten more mobile and more verbal, the biting is lessening. We actually went three weeks without a bite.

Sounds like the daycare is working on it. Our son does not bite us, but hitting is always redirected, we talk about and model model model gentle touches, and if he still has to hit he gets set down for a few minutes.

[BellaClaudia]

I don't have an answer but I have been through great deal of that
myself and I developed philosophy of the whole thing that I will be happy
to share with you..


when my dd was in a biting phase my both arms from right behind
the hand up to an elbow would look like a ladybug dots..
tons of them.. she would just jump at me and bite to release
preassure... she was about the same age as your dd.

I was in a fortunate situation that she was at home with me
and so I learned to respect her need to release the preassure
of the gums and it is not really personal and melicious but
simple instinct. if aggivated she also would have bit though at this
period.

it must be tough for kids at day care centers at this age because
they just don't have their mamas to protect and to understand them
as teachers do keep class interest in their mind not individual
children as it is there

so unless you can pull her from the school which you probably
can't then the only other options that I would suggest is to
equipp her with some toy that she can bite at her desire.

My daughter was big biter till 4 almost, and she never had a pecifier
as this is known and old form of actually helping to release need for
biting. I would never like pecifier for her for many reasons..
chemicals in it, and also habitual etc..

but finally we gave in and decide she needs something to bite on
other them mama's hands...

so we went to the buy buy baby store and they have tons of those narural organic toys that are perfect to chew on ears and stuff.. they are little
stuff animals like comforting blanky or just whole rabbit or so..

it can be any toy really that a child can have really exclusively for herself at all times and she is allowed to bite and chew on as needed.

now funny thing is that my dd was and is nursing at her liberty, always had full access to my breasts so she never was depraved or limited in that area so I know it is not about not being able to nurse ..
it was just about biting and releasing gum preassure of new forming
and readjusting gums. seem logical and natural to fulfill this need..

so any toy would work,.. something you could tie to her wrist
safely that nobody could take away.

It is tough when kid is outside of the parent circle because there
is so much preassure against those things and the people do not
understand insitncts and they fight them all the time in little kids,
nature put them for a reason, for me biting is one of them.

they should be somehow channeled and child should be able to
safely release the need .. while there is opposite going on..

child in a group without mom will bite other kids as he or she
really need to do that and he is judged based on the biting
alone.. and punished for something he or she really need..

some kids bite less some more but they all bite..
some parents punish less some more but most of the punish
aside from this forum probably..

so thiis whole biting thing to me is more of philosophy
and gentle parenting then actual discilpining and
redirecting.. as if a child needs to pee.. you can redirect
or punish till you turn blue.. this is a bodily need and
a child will pee :-)

hugs