Tick Tock...

[EMandM]

I'm really starting to get excited about this pregnancy! I'm trying to stay busy, but it's hard to think about anything else!

Anyone have any tricks to get through this first trimester faster?

[Surfacing]

No special advice, just take good care of yourself with exercise, diet. I'd say at some point it would be uplifting and encouraging to read some good, positive birth stories, like Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. Or see some videos/DVDs like Orgasmic Birth, or Ricki Lake's Business of Being Born. Just to get your mind in the right headspace. Just some thoughts.

Anybody see those movies I mentioned?

[EMandM]

I've read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and I have Business of Being Born. That's a good idea, though. Any other books you recommend?

[Surfacing]

Em is this your first baby? Sorry, my memory is bad. If so, you might like to look at some Breastfeeding Books....

Anyhow, there is a ton of stuff to do to get ready, right? Thinking ahead to what kind of preparations are necessary, planning?

I always enjoyed reading pregnancy books in the first trimester. It kept me focused and connected to my baby in the early weeks when it was still so small.

Have you read Birthing From Within?

And btw, are you Hungarian?

ETA - wow, that is a lot of questions! sorry!

[Heart349]

Just one word of caution about the movie Business of Being Born. I watched it last night and it terrified me. I live in a small town and there are no birthing centers. As a matter of fact, our midwife count numbers 1 and I'm too high risk to do home birth. The first half of the movie scared the snot out of me about being treated at a hospital.

Just my humble opinion, but if you are easily freaked out about the birth itself, you might want to wait about it until you've toured the options available. I haven't been to the women's center attached to the hospital here, but I cried for 15-30 minutes frantically telling the poor hubby that I couldn't give birth to my baby in a sterile, unloving hospital room. He lovingly reassured me that we would drive to Atlanta if we had to...but that we should go check out the women's center here. His co-worker told him that the rooms were more like a birthing center than a hospital, so it may work out. We'll see. If you are freaked out pretty easily right now due to the hormones, maybe you should wait a little bit.

[christinep1976]

for those of you on netflix, you'll be happy to know that the business of being born is available on their instant play queue. i am looking forward to catching it in the next couple of days.

heart349 - i know what you mean though, i am sure the movie is going to scare the crap out of me, but i have heard so much about it, i can't help but want to see it. i am personally hoping for a homebirth, but this is my first pregnancy, and who knows what's in store!

i have heard great things about spiritual midwifery, ina may's guide to childbirth, and birthing from within. i have also heard that pregnancy week by week is good. i got what to expect, just because it was the "book" i'd heard of. now i wish i'd waited to get my friend's opinions first.

i haven't opened the novel i was reading before i got my positive test result. i am afraid it will continue to gather dust on my night table for the next 9 months, since i'm so busy doing all this other reading about baby!

[Surfacing]

Heart349, there are ways to make a hospital birthing experience more palatable, and some hospitals have really great staff. It all depends on the culture of the institution. You can prepare beforehand to educate yourself on the regular types of unnecessary blanket interventions that they do, and write out your wishes. During labour you can be prepared and advocate for yourself, or be prepared to "negotiate" with the nurses/OB. You can prepare with questions like, "Why is this necessary? What are the risks and benefits? What happens if we wait 20 minutes? And hour? Can we try something else for 30 minutes and then revisit this if it's not working?" You know? So you're not totally at the mercy of the hospital staff.

I will say that having a doula is also helpful in this regard. You can discuss your labour and birth wishes beforehand and have some cues -- like if your doula says, "Heart, do you have any questions about this?" you'll know that you should be asking some questions.

The thing is, any wishes or decisions about procedures you want to have/delay/reject have to come from YOU or your partner. A doula can't speak for you, the hospital staff would just see that as interfering and may ask her to leave, you or your dh have to speak for yourself.

[moonmama22]

Heart349 - I'm with surfacing. There are ways to make a hospital birth the kind of birth you are seeking. My dw is completely uncomfortable with homebirth, and the nearest free-standing birth center is over 2 hours away, so I am left with little choice. Plus, ds#1 was a very difficult birth which makes me almost more anxious than I was the first time.
HOWEVER, as far as the hospital birth last time - my nurses were absolutely fantastic - I could not find anything bad to say about them. They never blinked when I declined the Hep-B vaccine and the eye ointment, and were completely comfortable with dp and I being a lesbian couple. I labored for 14 hours in the hospital room, but was able to get up and shower, etc... if I wanted to. The only negative thing for me was that they needed to do a vacuum extraction, which led to an epis. for me. i would have argued more, but I was exhausted by that point, had been pushing for 2.5 hours, and ds was really stuck. Otherwise - the experience may not have been everything I had hoped for, but it was far from any horror stories I have heard. Far enough that I am using the same hospital again for this one...
The best thing to do is keep positive thoughts in your head - if these movies are going to take away from that, maybe it is best to choose those that will make you feel good about giving birth!

[Surfacing]

Just wanted to add that while you are in labour you may not be in a headspace to argue/advocate (if needed) so your partner could help advocate for you, knowing your wishes.

[ScarletBegonias]

i read voraciously and visualize my labor and birth constantly.

some books that i feel are essential reading, especially for first time moms:

ina may's guide to childbirth by ina may gaskin
gentle birth, gentle mothering by sarah j buckley
the thinking woman's guide to a better birth by henci goer
active birth by janet balaskas
the natural pregnancy book by aviva jill romm
wise woman herbal for the childbearing year by susan weed
motherhood naturally (a collection of natural birth stories)
breastfeeding your baby by sheila kitzinger
attachment parenting by katie allison granju
circumcision: the hidden trauma by ronald goldman PHD
the vaccine guide by randall neustaedter

tbobb came out 5 days after i gave birth unassisted to ds, and i cried throughout it. part of it was hormones and part of it was happiness that i didn't have to go to a hospital and part of it was sadness for the way women are treated there.

yes, you can have a (spontaneous) good hospital birth, but it is kind of rare, tbh. it's kind of the luck of the draw, and also your view and ideals play strongly into it. my own mother had two unmedicated hospital births in the 80's, but she was still hooked up to an iv, had to labor/push on her back, babies were taken from her etc.,.

your chances of having a good hospital birth greatly increases if you have a doula. studies and statistics have proven this time and again.

every woman who has a hospital birth should be entitled to a doula of their choice to support them and help them navigate through the decisions of pg, labor and birth.

also, what happens to you in pg, labor, birth and pp depends more on the attitude and beliefs of your caregiver and has little to do with your health or the health of your baby (WHO, henci goer and more state this). so it is really essential to do your own research and to ask for time to think and discuss any treatment, test or option your ob/mw wants to do before you agree. a care provider may routinely do abc, because that is what is within his/her comfort zone, not because you or your baby actually NEED abc.

[ScarletBegonias]

spiritual midwifery is hands down my favorite pg book of all time.

but it is VERY hippie-ish and some may not like the feel of it. that said, i still feel the stories of natural birth are invaluable to pg women.