In case you needed another reason - circ horror story UPDATE post 24 - Page 2

[hippiemommaof4]

oh mama I am so sorry my heart breaks for you both ((((hugs))))

[serendipity22]

Newborns can die from shock from losing only a small amount of blood.

If he had been a newborn instead of a 6 week old, it sounds like he might have bled to death.

I would make some sort of official complaint.

If you don't, it will just keep happening.

I would consider suing them for malpractice.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

because this needs to be available.

OP did you ever get the results back?

[OperaDiva]

I did get the results back, the blood tests showed no reason that this should have happened, no clotting disorder or anything like that. At the hematologist they had to take blood that day to re-check platelets and such, and it was awful, they had to stick him 3 times to get the blood because he inherited my tricky veins Boy did that bring back all the horrific emotions of the circ, it was all I could do to not snatch him away and sit in the corner bawling because they were hurting him.

I had my follow-up with the urologist on Monday, everything is totally healed (as much as a mutilated penis can be). The nurse practitioner I saw said she actually tries to talk people out of circ because of the potential for complications. She did make sure she mentioned at my pre-circ appointment that there is no medical reason for it, and she did list the risks, including bleeding. I wish it had occured to me at the time that this could mean difficult to control, potentially life threatening bleeding, but hindsight is 20/20 I guess. Anyway, at the follow-up she basically said we were just the unlucky ones who ended up with the complications, and while it is rare it does happen. She also said that if she were me she would not circ any of her later sons either.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do from here, and exactly who I should tell my story to through letters (CDC, AAP, etc.). I am still pretty emotionally raw from the whole experience, to the point where I really want to cry just thinking about it.

On another note, DH and I had a serious heart to heart the other day after he got called out on his "my way or the highway" style of being a husband, and I realized part of the issue was wondering if guys from my past were uncirc'd and I preferred them to him This is not only not the case (never been with someone intact), but if he had mentioned this before the circ maybe I could have talked him out of it! I think we are going to get some counseling to work through his issue with not respecting my opinions, and hopefully this will help me be able to explain to him in a way he understands just how traumatic this entire experience was for me.

[BlessedMommy2006]

I'm glad that your son is healed up and is doing okay. Many healing vibes both physically and emotionally to your family.

Please share your story when you can. Sometimes personal experience touches people where facts or statistics can't.

[BugMacGee]

I agree that you need to share your story. The more people hear about this happening, the more they will think before they circ.

And I'm very glad your son doesn't have a clotting disorder!!!

[RiverSky]

Oh my, what an awful situation. I'm glad that you and your husband are working on the communication and respect issue. I wish you both the best.

[Papai]

Originally Posted by OperaDiva

On another note, DH and I had a serious heart to heart the other day after he got called out on his "my way or the highway" style of being a husband, and I realized part of the issue was wondering if guys from my past were uncirc'd and I preferred them to him This is not only not the case (never been with someone intact), but if he had mentioned this before the circ maybe I could have talked him out of it! I think we are going to get some counseling to work through his issue with not respecting my opinions, and hopefully this will help me be able to explain to him in a way he understands just how traumatic this entire experience was for me.

UNBELIEVABLE! He wanted his son circ'd because he thought his wife secretly preferred intact men?! Even if you did, it would have nothing to do with your son, as you as his mother wouldn't be doing anything sexual with your son's penis anyway!

I agree with you, it's unfortunate it took your son getting hurt for your DH to admit his insecurities. People say it time and time again, but it really seems that most of the time when a circumcised father is arguing for his son to be circ'd, it's because he's avoiding confronting some insecurity about his own penis. Sad.

[juliebird]

OH Mama! I'm so sorry you and Hunter had this terrible experience but am so glad he's ok now. Thank goodness that you were paying attention and able to get him to a doctor so soon.

[proudmomof4]

Just sending another wave of healing along your way...

[mommyminer]

My nephew bled too much from a circ too. By the time he got to the hospital, his hemoglobin was 4 and he required 2 blood transfusions.

[tutucrazy]

What a tragedy. I'm so sorry for you and your precious boy. (BIG hugs)

I know it will take some time but your voice is SO important in our cause. Please stick around and help other mothers understand the harms of circumcision. It will bring you great healing to know that you have protected other boys.

[brant31]

That's a pretty tough little dude you've got there, Operadiva! Some of his lethargy may have been the loss of blood, but it sounds like he has a strong constitution, too. Still, my heart sank at your story.

Your experience happens all too frequently among the 1.2 million circumcisions carried out every year in the US, even if the medical profession tries to deny it. They insist these are "extreme rarities"; we know this is not true. Warnings about severe blood loss go all the way back to the Talmud's writing, when parents with 2 sons who bled to death from their circumcisions were exempted from having to have future sons circumcised (and this doesn't refer just to hemophilia). The severe bleeding risk was known then, and it's known now, even if they're better at covering it up and denying it now.

As others here have asked, please honor your son's plight by documenting this as thoroughly as possible. If you're the type, write a letter to your newspaper or free local parenting magazine -- many cities have them. You're in Texas, right? You can send letters to your state rep and state senator, telling this heartrending story and explaining why your state should not be funding automatic newborn circumcision through Medicaid (your tax dollars). Or staff a baby fair booth for a couple of hours with the amazing folks who do intactivist volunteering in either Ft Worth or Dallas. It'll do wonders for how you feel about turning Hunter's scare into something very positive for you all, especially if you can get DH to pitch in!

You can make this upsetting turn of events into a net empowering experience for your family and a blessing for other families. Most of all, don't let it go unremembered and undocumented, or that will compound the sadness.

[OperaDiva]

Just thought I'd give this a bump back up while I'm thinking about it. One year ago today I had a whole, intact, beautiful 3 week old baby boy. 3 weeks later, I almost lost him because of a stupid cosmetic surgery. I have shared my story in many different places, and had several friends decide they will never circ sons because of my DS's experience. It doesn't change anything for my son, but hopefully changes a few lives down the road.

[Pirogi]

Thanks for bumping. I hope your son and your family are doing well.

I didn't see this thread a year ago, but it struck me when I read the discussion you and your DH had about his insecurities and assumptions about your past and your preferences ... this is also the result of circumcision. Your DH was circ'd without consent also, and decades later, still felt the repercussions of that. I hope you and he have been able to work through this. He was very brave in admitting the root cause to you, and his hurt should be honored as well.

Congratulations in ending the practice with your son's generation!

[smeep]

Originally Posted by OperaDiva

Just thought I'd give this a bump back up while I'm thinking about it. One year ago today I had a whole, intact, beautiful 3 week old baby boy. 3 weeks later, I almost lost him because of a stupid cosmetic surgery. I have shared my story in many different places, and had several friends decide they will never circ sons because of my DS's experience. It doesn't change anything for my son, but hopefully changes a few lives down the road.

Congrats, mama. I'm proud of you. You did what a LOT of people cannot or will not do. You learned from your mistake.