Leaving 5.5 mo. DD With Daddy for the 1st time

[sunnymamabee]

Hello Mamas!
I'm new here. I have a wonderful DD who is 5.5 months old. We have been attachment parenting her from the day she was born. I am now a sahm mom and her main caretaker, she is exclusively breastfed, sleeps in bed with us, is worn in her Moby wrap throughout the day, is cloth diapered and isn't put down much because she's so much happier in my arms. We had trouble latching on in the beginning so we didn't offer her a bottle until around 3 months and by then she wasn't interested even though I tried many times. Her daddy didn't try much though so perhaps that's why we weren't successful. She also isn't interested in pacifiers.
So my question is regarding leaving her with her daddy. I have been with her every moment of everyday since she was born. I think the longest time we have spent apart was an hour and I was in the house still. I am going back to school in January part time when she will be 8 months and I am wondering how to ease her into this new phase. I think the most time I will need to be away from her will be four hours. I am SO nervous. I don't want her to be sad or scared. I am thinking of going grocery shopping alone tomorrow morning, since she is happiest when she first wakes up in the morning, and seeing how it goes for that little bit of time. Does anyone have any suggestions? Usually, she wants me when she's with Daddy even if I'm sitting right beside them, but sometimes she will fall asleep with him and be just fine. Night time is our time since she always breastfeeds to sleep so I am unsure how I am going to get the homework done. On the one hand, I don't want to go at all, but on the other hand, I only have two semesters left and I REALLY want to graduate.

[elmh23]

Go shopping tomorrow! Nurse her right before you leave and she'll more than likely be fine until you get home.

Have you tried a sippy cup with her? While you're shopping pick one up and start putting water in it so get her used to it. When you go back to school, you can put pumped milk in it adn she will also probably take some solids at that point so she'll probably be fine for 4hrs.

Good luck and enjoy your time alone in the store!

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by elmh23

Go shopping tomorrow! Nurse her right before you leave and she'll more than likely be fine until you get home.

Have you tried a sippy cup with her? While you're shopping pick one up and start putting water in it so get her used to it. When you go back to school, you can put pumped milk in it adn she will also probably take some solids at that point so she'll probably be fine for 4hrs.

Good luck and enjoy your time alone in the store!

This times a hundred. You can always call to check in and see how it's going. I used to do that when I left DH with DD for more than 45 minutes.

[ktmama]

Yes, go and enjoy your time at the store. She will be fine. Let her dad take care of and parent her. I'll be he's so excited!

[earthmama4]

Originally Posted by sunnymamabee

On the one hand, I don't want to go at all, but on the other hand, I only have two semesters left and I REALLY want to graduate.

You sound like a great mom who is very attached to her baby. I would never dream of posting this if you were secure in your decision, but you've voiced hesitations, so I'll share my perspective. Your primal mothering instincts are telling you to be with your baby, but there are modern pressures that conflict with that and so it puts you in conflict. Its a modern woman's dilemma. I was in your shoes several months ago and in the end, I decided not to go back to work/school. It would have been about 4-5 hrs a day and baby mostly w/ daddy who is wonderful but...well, not mama. I waited until just 2 weeks before I was due to return to make my decision I was soooo conflicted. I know the pressure to finish school is great but IMO (and it just an opinion so no flames) I figured school will always be there, but babyhood doesn't wait. Who knows, he may have been "fine" without me, but *I* wouldn't have been fine. I needed to be with him. I made my phones calls, wrote my letters, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I don't regret it.

Whatever you decision, mama, be at peace with it. If you aren't at peace with going back to school quite yet, I'd take some more time.

Naomi Aldort has response in the "Ask the Experts" page of Mothering.com replying to a student mom. I really love her perspective.

http://mothering.com/time-management

Oh, and welcome to MDC!

[sunnymamabee]

Thanks for the responses!

elmh23, Crystal_R, and ktmama-Thanks. I ended up not going to do the groceries alone because we had more errands that needed to be done together. A few days later, we went to the mall and headed in opposite directions while she was awake. It went very well. Although I was only away for half an hour, she was great with daddy and just fell asleep in the stroller. I can't remember what it was I was doing the other day for an hour while she was with daddy again and did well...Oh yeah, therapy! They were in the waiting room together just hanging out and had a great time, no tears and she fell asleep again. In fact, I came out and they were both knocked out. It was the sweetest thing. I came out and they were so deep in sleep that I just stared at them, trying to burn the image in my mind. <3 So now, I might be ready to try to do an actual errand and leave the house for two hours. Also, daddy gave her her first baby cereal today mixed with my breastmilk. She was confused but not totally turned off by it. LOL She will be 25 weeks tomorrow. And we have a cup that she's been playing so I am going to try to give her that with a little of my milk soon. It doesn't seem like this is going to be as hard as I anticipated.

earthmama4- It's totally fine that you posted that. I am somewhat on the fence and it sucks because the applications always have to be in so far ahead of the actual semester. We are VERY attached. I miss her when I'm in the shower. LOL I am torn because circumstances are just right for me to return to school financially and the opportunity may not be there in the future especially with my partner doing back breaking work that goes by projects and isn't guaranteed and me having the most education out the two of us. I wish his job situation was more clear, but I have to be realistic with myself that while he is handling it all now, I may at some point soon have to be the primary breadwinner. I wouldn't be ok being away the whole day but I think we will be ok apart for part of the day. I go to an Ivy League school so if they re-admit me and I say no, who knows when or if i can return. They might view it as my not being serious. It is indeed the modern woman's dilemma. ***sigh*** I'm hoping to be able to work from home somehow if I have to work at all. Thanks for your perspective and your welcome!