So my 20 month old DS had what I would call his first major tantrum tonight. Now yes, he's thrown fits about not getting to do something he wants or when he's gotten frustrated about something he's trying to do. But tonight was different. Tonight was his first tantrum over a consequence. He was throwing his food off the table and so I was having him clean up his mess. He picked the pieces of food up pretty happily, and then I gave him a wash cloth to wipe up the sauce. Well just as he was getting started, he noticed his favorite toy car and wanted to play with it. I said, "clean up first." And then he went into this major flopping around kicking his feet screaming fit. I know that when kids get like that, it's pretty pointless to try to reason with them (well reasoning with a 20 month old is a tricky task any way)... the whole brainstemming thing. Basically, I figured it was going to be pointless to keep trying to make him wipe up the sauce at that point.... But I also didn't want to "give in" to the tantrum and let him play. So I let him nurse for a few minutes to calm down... then tried the clean up thing again... he went into immediate melt down... so I just held him for a bit. Then DH came home, we went and greeted DH, then I got a new wash cloth and was able to be upbeat about getting into the kitchen to clean up the sauce. He came along quite happily and wiped up his spill.
I guess my question is... did I coddle him too much? I mean I'm an early childhood teacher and there are a few times where I don't worry too much about children getting upset and crying (like when they cry about consequences for misbehavior). I figure that's part of learning about what happens when you make bad choices. But it felt so different with DS... I don't know if it's because he's so young or because it's the first time he's ever thrown a fit like this over logical consequences (he's a pretty laid back easy going kid, and we don't usually have too many instances where we've had to deal with a tantrum over consequences). I just don't want to go too easy on him and end up with a bratty kid. I want to discipline DS in a way that is appropriate and effective.
So how do you handle tantrums while you're trying to give consequences?
I guess my question is... did I coddle him too much? I mean I'm an early childhood teacher and there are a few times where I don't worry too much about children getting upset and crying (like when they cry about consequences for misbehavior). I figure that's part of learning about what happens when you make bad choices. But it felt so different with DS... I don't know if it's because he's so young or because it's the first time he's ever thrown a fit like this over logical consequences (he's a pretty laid back easy going kid, and we don't usually have too many instances where we've had to deal with a tantrum over consequences). I just don't want to go too easy on him and end up with a bratty kid. I want to discipline DS in a way that is appropriate and effective.
So how do you handle tantrums while you're trying to give consequences?
