Originally Posted by meemee
since you asked....
... i would want my friends to tell me the truth. rather i want them to tell me iif they find i am doing something out of the ordinary.
yes even to tell me cosleeping is bad
the thing is - i am alone here. my only support system are my friends. my dd is not just my child - she is my friends child too. soo i always welcome opinions. i look at it as me taking a second look. another opinion from someone elses's eyes. i do the same to them as they do to me. i mean arent that what friends are for.
that does not mean i might follow your advice. it does not even mean i like it. but i would love to hear it. and i will let you know what i think of it.
for instance my mil asked me to stop bfeeding when dd was over 2. she did it out of love and concern for both of us. i had just gone back to full time work, dd was in dc and was having a hard hard time during naptime in daycare. ididnt say much to mil but she understood and didnt repeat that again, dd settled down and even at 7 in 3rd grade she is still nursing. however my mil talking to me deepened our friendship because she stood up and spoke her mind (other times she has been spot on and i have followed her advice).
however there is an art of talking. to come from a place of genuine concern rather than judgement. That requires aLOT of work on your part to come from a place of empathy rather than judgement. the day you can relate to her thats the day to talk. not when you are saying within you you gave WHAT for lunch. esp. since it already seems like a touchy subject.
Thank you for your post. I feel the same way. I did tons of research when I was preg about all sorts of stuff, but my friend isn't really like that. She was always glad to hear what I had found. She would take it or leave it. The more I think about it the more I feel like I should gather some info about diabetes and such.. and honestly, I'm the only one who will go out on a limb for her like that.
Ollyoxenfree asked about the mom's eating habits... That's the problem. She has health issues due to her wieght. (280lbs at 5'2) BUT her mother shoved a super healthy diet 'down her throat' when she was growing up. So she knows quite a bit about nutrition but is maybe bitter about it?? I dunno.
I also just gotta say... I don't go around judging how peoples children eat...at all! This is a ...situation. She gave her 6 mo old baby cinnamon/sugar twists from taco bell as his first food, followed by a mexican pizza. She called me all excited that he ate all of it!
Today she told me one of the only things he'll eat that's not 'sweets' are these pre-made pancakes that come from a can like whip cream. (still lots of syurp) Also, in my OP I didn't mention that he hadn't eaten breakfast (she said it's been a problem) so the chocolate covered chocolate w chocolate was the first thing in his tummy...at 3:00.
So there you have it. I am concerned. It does seem like a problem, right?
I'm concerned her 'I'll let him indulge in being a kid with sweets like my mom wouldn't let me' attitude is going too far and creating a real problem. I know she used to try to fix healthy food for him at least once a day, but I fear she has given up and he eats what he wants.