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He eats WHAT for lunch??? - Page 4

post #61 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCVeg View Post
This is true of us, too. One of the "nice" things about fast food is its uniformity. Dd has so many allergies that she can't eat chicken nuggets, McD's fries, or tacos--but she can eat McDonald's soft serve ice cream. I'd love to take her to local place that makes homemade ice cream--but I can't guarantee that the scoop hasn't been dipped into a flavor that will send her to the hospital. But processed soft serve from a machine that makes only one flavor she can actually eat. When we pass a McDonald's, she calls it "the ice cream store."

Dd probably eats more junk than most many MDC kids--her diet is so severely limited that I don't mind if she has ice cream or allergen-free Belgian waffles or whatever, particularly since the vast majority of processed foods are already off limits to her because they contain allergens. I feel like she deserves to have SOME fun with food.
There were a few years there where the only safe thing at McD's was the soft serve ice cream, Sprite and a plain hamburger patty. We consider being able to get him chicken mcnuggets and fries a step in the right direction, because that means he's outgrowing some allergies.
post #62 of 90
I'm going to out myself. My daughter ate a dish of ice cream for breakfast nearly every day from the time she was 6 until she graduated high school. I wanted her to eat SOMETHING, and the only thing palatable to her in the am was ice cream so I let her have it. My husband and I decided if she was going to have a treat every day, what did it matter what time she ate it?

She almost never drank sodas or juices, would always choose steamed fish and veggies over a hamburger and fries, and loved to snack on raw vegetables. Ice cream for breakfast didn't seem like such a big deal, but OH! the grief we got from other people! Despite their dire predictions for her future, she is now 20, has no weight problems, and has never had a cavity.
post #63 of 90
i find it really difficult to mmob in these situations.... ive come across a few...
a friend of mine gives her dd black tea (weak with milk and no sugar or caffeine so certainly not as bad as what it could be) but tea can hinder absorbtion of iron and i didnt know if she knew this so i just mentioned it to her. she knew and still chooses to give her tea but i feel better for mentioning it to her iyswim?

i do also know ppl who feed their child unhealthy food simply because they dont know any better. a little bit of education would maybe help in these cases. and wrt "not eating anything else"... my step dd wont eat anything but chicken nuggets and chips or cheese sandwiches and chocolates and crisps and other processed food when she is at home. yet at ours she will cook with me and eat pasta with veg sauce, bolognaise with carrots and wholemeal spaghetti, vegetable soup, wholemeal bread, fruit, etc.
what im saying is that although some parents may say that their child doesnt eat anything else sometimes it may be a case of the parent not *knowing* any other way.

if she is a good friend and you think she might benefit from some education then try to strike up a conversation.


Quote:
If it comes up again you could say something like "are you worried he is not getting enough nutrition? this has been going on for a while.....how do you make sure his nutritional needs are getting met. that must be challenging" if she says no then drop it. if she says yes then perhaps sugggest some other foods he may be interested in such as yogurt or fruit sauces or smooties. plain ice cream. these might not be a lot better but at least a variety. and not candy.

the mouth hurting for two months. Is that normal? I would have suggested right then she take him to a pediatric dentist. There could be deeper issues that need to be addressed. of course he could have just rotted his teeth out already which then the dentist can do the firty work.


that
post #64 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowflower View Post
btw- I don't judge her, I know and love her. I just don't when to keep my mouth shut or muster up the courage to say something.
since you asked....

... i would want my friends to tell me the truth. rather i want them to tell me iif they find i am doing something out of the ordinary.

yes even to tell me cosleeping is bad

the thing is - i am alone here. my only support system are my friends. my dd is not just my child - she is my friends child too. soo i always welcome opinions. i look at it as me taking a second look. another opinion from someone elses's eyes. i do the same to them as they do to me. i mean arent that what friends are for.

that does not mean i might follow your advice. it does not even mean i like it. but i would love to hear it. and i will let you know what i think of it.

for instance my mil asked me to stop bfeeding when dd was over 2. she did it out of love and concern for both of us. i had just gone back to full time work, dd was in dc and was having a hard hard time during naptime in daycare. ididnt say much to mil but she understood and didnt repeat that again, dd settled down and even at 7 in 3rd grade she is still nursing. however my mil talking to me deepened our friendship because she stood up and spoke her mind (other times she has been spot on and i have followed her advice).

however there is an art of talking. to come from a place of genuine concern rather than judgement. That requires aLOT of work on your part to come from a place of empathy rather than judgement. the day you can relate to her thats the day to talk. not when you are saying within you you gave WHAT for lunch. esp. since it already seems like a touchy subject.
post #65 of 90
My son is the pickiest eater ever! My other four children will eat anything but not him. He usually eats healthy foods but on occasion he will have a treat. Last night we had an early Christmas party so it doesn't get mixed up with other Christmas parties. Well my little guy had some bread with peanut butter and was off playing. Every time I saw him walk by he had a cooke, some truffle(I helped with that) and probably some other junk. Oh ya...cheesies. It doesn't bother me. I know that at home he rarely gets sugar. It makes it easier on me with the 5 kids under 6 and I don't want to struggle with him. This summer for my surprise birthday was the same thing. It was actually funny. Every little bit I would see my little Cohen running by with another cookie or treat hid behind his back. Eventually I had to stop him but it was funny while it was happening! I know that he eats healthy otherwise because I am always with him.
As for the teeth, I would suggest he see a dentist. Pain isn't fun.
post #66 of 90
Generally, I favour the MYOB strategy. I've only skimmed the thread, but I don't think there's any information about the mom's food habits, or the rest of the family's diet. Is it only the child who eats poorly? If the entire family is unaware of good nutrition, I might make a few "innocent" suggestions to educate. Things like talking about a great book I've read on the subject, or a t.v. show/series about family-friendly healthy cooking. That's probably as far as I would go though.
post #67 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by WC_hapamama View Post
I know of a little girl, whose mother is a member of a food allergy support website I belong to, whose only "safe" food besides an elemental formula is cane sugar.
That poor family. May she grow out of that sooner than they hope and with fewer problems than they fear.
post #68 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
The only thing I'd think about saying is that "months" is a long time for his teeth to be hurting every day and it might be good to have a dentist doublecheck that everything's okay.

Yeah, it's the sugar, but she's defensive about that, so instead maybe mention what if a tooth is coming in sideways or something.
IME, it could really be a tooth coming in for months on end. DS didn't start getting teeth until about 10 months / 1 year, and then suddenly they were ALL coming in... 1 to 4 a month. I would guess his teeth hurt for the majority of his second year.

We've seen a pediatric dentist, and his teeth are fine. It's not sugar, it's teeth coming in.
post #69 of 90
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
since you asked....

... i would want my friends to tell me the truth. rather i want them to tell me iif they find i am doing something out of the ordinary.

yes even to tell me cosleeping is bad

the thing is - i am alone here. my only support system are my friends. my dd is not just my child - she is my friends child too. soo i always welcome opinions. i look at it as me taking a second look. another opinion from someone elses's eyes. i do the same to them as they do to me. i mean arent that what friends are for.

that does not mean i might follow your advice. it does not even mean i like it. but i would love to hear it. and i will let you know what i think of it.

for instance my mil asked me to stop bfeeding when dd was over 2. she did it out of love and concern for both of us. i had just gone back to full time work, dd was in dc and was having a hard hard time during naptime in daycare. ididnt say much to mil but she understood and didnt repeat that again, dd settled down and even at 7 in 3rd grade she is still nursing. however my mil talking to me deepened our friendship because she stood up and spoke her mind (other times she has been spot on and i have followed her advice).

however there is an art of talking. to come from a place of genuine concern rather than judgement. That requires aLOT of work on your part to come from a place of empathy rather than judgement. the day you can relate to her thats the day to talk. not when you are saying within you you gave WHAT for lunch. esp. since it already seems like a touchy subject.
Thank you for your post. I feel the same way. I did tons of research when I was preg about all sorts of stuff, but my friend isn't really like that. She was always glad to hear what I had found. She would take it or leave it. The more I think about it the more I feel like I should gather some info about diabetes and such.. and honestly, I'm the only one who will go out on a limb for her like that.

Ollyoxenfree asked about the mom's eating habits... That's the problem. She has health issues due to her wieght. (280lbs at 5'2) BUT her mother shoved a super healthy diet 'down her throat' when she was growing up. So she knows quite a bit about nutrition but is maybe bitter about it?? I dunno.

I also just gotta say... I don't go around judging how peoples children eat...at all! This is a ...situation. She gave her 6 mo old baby cinnamon/sugar twists from taco bell as his first food, followed by a mexican pizza. She called me all excited that he ate all of it!
Today she told me one of the only things he'll eat that's not 'sweets' are these pre-made pancakes that come from a can like whip cream. (still lots of syurp) Also, in my OP I didn't mention that he hadn't eaten breakfast (she said it's been a problem) so the chocolate covered chocolate w chocolate was the first thing in his tummy...at 3:00.
So there you have it. I am concerned. It does seem like a problem, right?

I'm concerned her 'I'll let him indulge in being a kid with sweets like my mom wouldn't let me' attitude is going too far and creating a real problem. I know she used to try to fix healthy food for him at least once a day, but I fear she has given up and he eats what he wants.
post #70 of 90
I'd MYOB too. It's only going to be a big problem for you if you need to watch him for a day or two.

Otherwise, quietly lead by example, and perhaps she will get the idea.

When my now 17 year old was little, I CAN NOT believe the crap I fed her without ever giving it another thought. I have no idea why I thougth it was OK either.

Fortunately, she would also eat healthy. So, I am not having to deal with the long term problems of having an overweight teen who only eats junk. But, I look back on those days and wonder what the heck was wrong with me. Now, I'd absolutely die before buying her some of the junk I bought and fed her when she was little.

But, no amount of friendly advice would have changed me back then.
post #71 of 90
I'd probably get my butt kicked all over MDC if people knew what my kid ate on a daily basis. I'm not ignorant of nutrition, either, it's just the way that dh and I prefer to eat. She does get fruits and veggies, but I am not about to withhold the cookies, either. Her first "food" was Rita's frozen ice at three months, so I guess we are evil people. And I do get offended by suggestions like, "Wow, that is a lot of sugar." I am well aware of what she is eating, thanks, it is not your business.

FTR, the pancakes in a can are organic. They sell them at Whole Foods. Too pricey, imo, but v convenient when you only want to make 2 or 3 cakes.

Dh does have family members who have horrible teeth due to genetics. His one cousin had to get caps on some teeth at age two or three. He had a front tooth chip at age two. His mother's adult molars never came in correctly and she has bridges. A suggestion to visit the dentist is a good one b/c the boy may v well have soft teeth, you just never know util you go.

I *really* try to stay out of other's business when it comes to feeding their kids. Unless someone directly asks for advice, of course.
post #72 of 90
Haven't read all the replies yet, but has she taken him to a dentist? If he's complaining about his mouth hurting for months and he eats that much junk, it might not be molar pain...


I had a friend growing up who was super small -- say 85 lbs at just under 5 feet tall. She was a micro-preemie, too, at least for her time -- I think she was born at 26 or so weeks, but remember, this is 30 years ago! She was required to have two servings of ice cream a day, part of her official diet, and she HATED it. I guess it was higher fat than most other foods? I just remember coming home with her after school and watching her choke it down...
post #73 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogretro View Post
I'd probably get my butt kicked all over MDC if people knew what my kid ate on a daily basis. I'm not ignorant of nutrition, either, it's just the way that dh and I prefer to eat. She does get fruits and veggies, but I am not about to withhold the cookies, either. Her first "food" was Rita's frozen ice at three months, so I guess we are evil people. And I do get offended by suggestions like, "Wow, that is a lot of sugar." I am well aware of what she is eating, thanks, it is not your business.
I'm with you
DH and I are big chocolate lovers and we are well known for that. I love to bake brownies, cookies and cakes. I love sweets, I can't help it. DD is a picky eater, the only fruits that she likes are grapes and pears so she has that. She LOVES all kind of veggies though, she eats healthy. But I don't think there's anything wrong with her eating a nice home made brownie or cookies on weekends or at parties and she loves to have Nutella with her toast in the mornings. She certainly won't die, and I'm sorry if that was offensive. But that's the way I think.

post #74 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by petra_william View Post
i find it really difficult to mmob in these situations.... ive come across a few...
a friend of mine gives her dd black tea (weak with milk and no sugar or caffeine so certainly not as bad as what it could be) but tea can hinder absorbtion of iron and i didnt know if she knew this so i just mentioned it to her. she knew and still chooses to give her tea but i feel better for mentioning it to her iyswim?
It might be a cultural thing. A few years ago, I was reading a thread on a foodie website about what the first foods that Japanese people feed their babies are, and I was surprised to see diluted tea listed as first beverage.
post #75 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by petra_william View Post
i find it really difficult to mmob in these situations.... ive come across a few...
a friend of mine gives her dd black tea (weak with milk and no sugar or caffeine so certainly not as bad as what it could be) but tea can hinder absorbtion of iron and i didnt know if she knew this so i just mentioned it to her. she knew and still chooses to give her tea but i feel better for mentioning it to her iyswim?
aha!!!! but food can be such a cultural thing. for instance i remember my ob telling me he sees his japanese clients eat sushi right thru their pregnancies with no problems. and yet his other patients have issues. so he always advices them not to.

so while in our children the tea might prevent absorption, it might not do the same for her who have done this for generations.
post #76 of 90
It is a cultural thing in the UK. Not that my ds has drunk tea yet, (because I know about the iron absorption), but growing up my siblings and I drank weak milky tea at an early age.
post #77 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by caj View Post
I'm with you
DH and I are big chocolate lovers and we are well known for that. I love to bake brownies, cookies and cakes. I love sweets, I can't help it. DD is a picky eater, the only fruits that she likes are grapes and pears so she has that. She LOVES all kind of veggies though, she eats healthy. But I don't think there's anything wrong with her eating a nice home made brownie or cookies on weekends or at parties and she loves to have Nutella with her toast in the mornings. She certainly won't die, and I'm sorry if that was offensive. But that's the way I think.

I third the idea.
We eat a wide variety of healthy foods in my home...organic fruits and veg, whole grains, nuts/nut butters, cheese, milk, local fish/poultry/beef etc. Since 90% of my son's intake is excellent (to include plenty of water), I have NO problem with sweets (which DH and I both love) or the occasional "less than optimal" food when out.

My DS is just 2 and every Friday I take him to this little family-owned local bakery that does not use persivatives, artificial flavors, bleached flour etc. I get him a chocolate chip cookie and milk and he sits by the front window and happily eats his cookie and watched the cars go down main street. I have been doing this since he was about 20 mo. and I am sure there have been mothers who thought I was just awful for feeding him a chocolate cookie...I could care less. It is our special date every Friday and they are darn yummy cookies!

That being said, I feel comfortable including yummies into our diet because the base of diet is healthy. I am not a fan of extreems (in either direction).
post #78 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogretro View Post
FTR, the pancakes in a can are organic. They sell them at Whole Foods.
Organic doesn't necessarily mean healthy. There are many organic foods sold at Whole Foods and other stores that are heavily processed and/or contain ingredients that have questionable nutritional value.
post #79 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowflower View Post
Thank you for your post. I feel the same way. I did tons of research when I was preg about all sorts of stuff, but my friend isn't really like that. She was always glad to hear what I had found. She would take it or leave it. The more I think about it the more I feel like I should gather some info about diabetes and such.. and honestly, I'm the only one who will go out on a limb for her like that.

Ollyoxenfree asked about the mom's eating habits... That's the problem. She has health issues due to her wieght. (280lbs at 5'2) BUT her mother shoved a super healthy diet 'down her throat' when she was growing up. So she knows quite a bit about nutrition but is maybe bitter about it?? I dunno.

I also just gotta say... I don't go around judging how peoples children eat...at all! This is a ...situation. She gave her 6 mo old baby cinnamon/sugar twists from taco bell as his first food, followed by a mexican pizza. She called me all excited that he ate all of it!
Today she told me one of the only things he'll eat that's not 'sweets' are these pre-made pancakes that come from a can like whip cream. (still lots of syurp) Also, in my OP I didn't mention that he hadn't eaten breakfast (she said it's been a problem) so the chocolate covered chocolate w chocolate was the first thing in his tummy...at 3:00.
So there you have it. I am concerned. It does seem like a problem, right?

I'm concerned her 'I'll let him indulge in being a kid with sweets like my mom wouldn't let me' attitude is going too far and creating a real problem. I know she used to try to fix healthy food for him at least once a day, but I fear she has given up and he eats what he wants.

One of dd2's first foods was a cinnamon/sugar twists from taco bell. It kept her quiet so I could finish eating. Her actuall "first food" was a french fry from Wendy's that dd1 crammed into her mouth while I wasn't looking.

I do agree that eating nothing but sugar is unhealthy, but unless she asks for your advice, I would myob.
post #80 of 90
ITA to myob. Not that I would do it all the time, because we don't eat out a great deal, but if I had to I would totally let my kids eat ice cream for lunch if it meant I got to sit down to a meal with a friend.

Sooo I didn't read all the replies but if it's happening very often, yes I might casually mention something but otherwise no.
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